One of my favorite things is to learn new words. Really. I have a CD that I keep in my car to play while I'm running errands. I thought I should give you some of my latest learnings: (not really but these are funny)
Subject: NEW WORDS FOR 2007
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or why a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm and peoples' heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
Yuppies become after they have children and one of them stops working to
stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiney.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying,
but which you find yourself unable to stop watching.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking an electronic device
with the hope of getting it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve.
15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls and
subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule moment of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake (like inadvertently hitting 'send' on an email).
18. WOOFs: Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while transiting a Cube Farm.
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