I've become reclusive to the point I cancel appts so I don't have to leave the flat.

I need a girlfriend here but just haven't been able to connect with anyone. And, I've tried!

The hub is concerned too. I'm not like this.

Ideas?

How are you feeling physically? Do you ever go outside just for exercise - walking, fresh air, etc? Is your energy level low?

Call me!! We can chat!! Cell phone minutes are free and I work from home, so I'm here.... REALLY!

Kathy

How long have you been doing the recluse thing? Since we live so close, I know how the weather and season changes can cause shut-down. I have been real low energy lately and I attribute lots of this to September's weather this year.

If it's been going on longer, check out with a doctor to make sure there are no health reasons. You never know unless you check it out.

Have you ever had problems with depression? Could it be menopause?

Maybe this is just what you want for yourself right now. Maybe you need to hunker down and recenter yourself.

Whatever it is, you reached out and that is the most important first step.

Dianne, I have been in Oklahoma for a couple of years now. The move made me become reclusive to the point that I hated to go out for milk. It makes a difference when you are away from family and friends. I still haven't met a chum girlfriend. If I wasn't working, I would be the same. My job is what keeps me from being a recluse.I hope you'll get out of this funk. I would cancell appointments because it was too much trouble to get ready for them i.e. put on my makeup and I don't like to leave home without my makeup. Sound familiar? Speaking for myself, I personally was a bored, stay at home individual with not much purpose until I had a reason to get out of bed every day. I don't know if you could volunteer or part time job just to have the same. I understand where you're coming from. . I don't like the fall of the year and really like to stay home then more than anytime.
I Hope you feel better and back to old self real soon.
Luv,
chick
and you can call me anytime too.

Dianne, I think moving to a place where you don't know a soul must be so traumatic. But I also believe there are tons of women who would give anything to call you friend. You have so much to offer. You've lived such a full life and are so willing to share your self that I think you will make friends easily.

You just need to take the first step in making that first one and then things should snowball. But taking that first step can be hard. How about an exercise or yoga class to begin with? Or how about an acting class? Didn't you enjoy that before you moved? Come on gals. Let's rally around Dianne and give her some good ideas.

I wish I lived closer. I'd give anything to have lunch with you.

Dianne, do you remember when I first arrived here in BWS? I was reclusive and unable to get out of the house unless hubby was with me. You were one of the first women here to greet me and you were definitely one of many women here who "loved me back to life" through your caring, supportive ways.

I so understand what you're saying here. And I echo what Chick said, except that for me, it was this BWS site that saved my life and helped me get "back out there". It wasn't easy, but worth the struggle.

I can't be here as much as I long to be, because of being my brother's caregiver right now, but just know, Dianne, that we're all here for you the same way that you've been here for so many of us who came here broken and lost and are now soaring in hope. We'll help you through, our love will "love YOU back to your life" too!

You're in my heart-prayers these days...

Hi, Dianne: I'd second what Dotsie recommended in her post. Additionally, does your town have a group of greeters who could match you with the right class or associations where you could start off from? I understand very well how you must feel as I was the "new girl" once 16.5 years ago when we moved to London from NYC. I did not have friends or foe within spitting distance but I found that inviting a neighbour over or out for a cup of coffee was a helpful ice breaker. Or perhaps, even arrange to do your food shopping together might also be a start to finding a buddy.

Dianne, this doesn't sound like the Dianne I've come to know on this forum, so I would also be concerned. Have you spent time, very quietly, to think about why you don't want to go out? I know when the weather is cold, snowy, rainy or windy, I don't like to go out either. It's usually because it's just a hassle. You have moved from a southern climate to a northern one, so it couldbe a seasonal disorder.
But if you're not going out because of a fear of something, than that needs to be addressed. If you're not feeling sociable, I don't think that's a big problem either. Sometimes you just don't feel like chit chatting with people.
I know you don't feel the need to belong to a church to practice your faith, but have you considered attending one with the intention of meeting some (hopefully) good, moral women? Or just joining a women's bible study or book discussion group?
Keep talking about it here...don't go it alone. We all love you very much and want you to be well. You are a vital part of this "neighborhood".
(((HUGS)))

You gals are sweet and Anno, when I return from my trip to CA, I will call you.

I spoke to my OCD shrink about this and he said that I left a lot of great girlfriends in Nashville and with David's job and moving like we do, that I might not want to make friends again, only to leave them behind. I don't know...right now, I'd give anything for a close, face to face girlfriend.

My sister is having the same problem but she lives in a country that speaks another language so it's a barrier. She suggested a book club but how do you find one? I even went on craigslist but it's mostly singles and younger women.

I'm not depressed. It's like Chick said, it seems like too much of a hassle to go out. This just isn't me. I'm going the end of the week to CA for my publisher's b-day bash so that will help. I'm actually meeting an email friend of four years that I've never met in person but when I return home, it will be the same thing.

Dots, I did check into an acting class that starts in October. Problem being, I will be gone during the first class. We travel a lot so I have to plan around things, which makes it difficult.

I don't know...