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#201610 - 03/30/10 05:43 AM Newbie with serious question
Suz Registered: 03/30/10 Posts: 2	Hi there. I found this website when searching for help with a problem, and perhaps you all can help a bit. My husband and I have been seeing another couple socially for several months. It's only every 4-5 weeks, but my husband does it grudgingly. The other couple is very different than we are, I know, but they're nice people. Hubby really doesn't want to be obligated to get together with them (and me just getting together with her would be awkward). Anyway, I'm used to being the "dumpee" in friendships for as long as I remember. I'm not used to being the "dumper". It really needs to be done, but I don't know how to bow out gracefully, and without hurt feelings. Any advice? Thanks so much.
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#201614 - 03/30/10 10:35 AM Re: Newbie with serious question [Re: Suz]
chatty lady Writer Registered: 02/24/04 Posts: 20267 Loc: Nevada	If your husband stands firm as to not seeing them then the nicest way to let them down easy is get caller I.D. and when they call don't answer. Or just always be otherwise involved and really busy when they call, after several times you are unavailable to go out together they should get the picture. That way no ones feeling need to be hurt. Oh, and by the way WELCOME to BWS, very nice having you here. I hope this advice helps. _________________________ Take a peek at my BLOG: http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/
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#201615 - 03/30/10 10:56 AM Re: Newbie with serious question [Re: chatty lady]
Dotsie Founder Registered: 07/09/08 Posts: 23647 Loc: Maryland	Welcome to BWS. We hope you'll stick around and let us get to know you. I'd stop communication on your end; don't call, email, etc. When she calls, talk, but don't commit to the next get-together. I guess you need to be vague about what you're doing. I don't know. I'm not good at dumping people. I typically collect people. Ha. Let's see what others have to say. Just wondering how you met them... _________________________ Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. www.nabbw.com www.boomerwomenspeak.com
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#201633 - 03/30/10 01:27 PM Re: Newbie with serious question [Re: Dotsie]
Anno Member Registered: 09/15/05 Posts: 4434 Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota	Welcome, Suz. I hope you do find a way to let them go. My parents had a couple they felt obligated to, and maintained a distant relationship for 20 years. Each time they got together my parents would complain. I ended up dumping the couple after both of my parents died. (She sent memorials to their funerals, and I sent thank you notes with out a return address) Since you haven't been friends for long, I don't think you are obligated to give an explanation. I would simply say no to any invites and keep any phone conversations short. If she or he should ask what's up, be honest and say you just don't feel as though you have much in common and aren't interested in moving forward in a friendship. Good luck. _________________________ Follow our story of living, loving and laughing with a debilitating disease: http://www.multiplesystematrophyandshy-drager.blogspot.com
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#201644 - 03/30/10 02:38 PM Re: Newbie with serious question [Re: Dotsie]
Suz Registered: 03/30/10 Posts: 2	Met her at a Bed, Bath and Beyond, got to talking. We were both from the same city, went to the same high school, and are living halfway across the country from there. Thanks for the advice, ladies.
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