This is the loneliest Christmas Eve I've ever experienced. Hubby went to bed before 9 (he missed his nap this afternoon and couldn't keep his eyes open, poor thing). The house is clean, everything's as ready for tomorrow as it can be at this point. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, just quietened by the drastic changes in our lives over the past two years that have brought me to this lonely Christmas Eve. Our house used to be full of laughter and music and normally we would all be around the table playing card games.

It's temporary. By 2pm tomorrow afternoon, the house will laugh again, this time with the joy of grandchildren.

A few moments of profound loneliness...I just needed somewhere to come and not be alone tonight.

what might you like to do? read a book? listen to music? take a bubble bath? alone time does not have to be lonely.

have fun with the family tomorrow!

I'm here temporarily alone.. for 1-2 hrs., after our Christmas Eve annual dinner at home my partner has gone off to walk with his daughter in this snow to near her apt. tonight since some public transit are disabled abit. He wanted to help haul back some of her presents.

We place emphasis on Christmas Eve for dinner and opening presents.

We had a good time. I was a little amazed he spent a pretty penny to buy a gourmet chocolate cake (it's beautiful executed in Iron Chef high class standard) and I am not kiddin' you it is quality baking. The pastry chef is from Germany and trained there. However I certainly cannot dispute the reasons why he did this.

I'm sure he was thinking of his mother who died recently since he also bought some German ginger cookies (made in Germany), marzipan from Austria (or Germany) for his daughter also.

We were all giggling and guffawing abit when we all opened our presents from his son/grandson and his daughter-in-law: always an identical decorated gift. Each of us got mousepad with hand-painted design by the child. Another year it was aprons that were each personalized..

His daughter-in-law is highly organized and "efficient" in their gift-buying for family members.

Me too ladies, on my way to bed but just had to stop in to see if anyone was looking for someone to talk to or give them a hug. Tomorrow will be a busy day, I love that but will be very happy when the last guest leaves and I can snuggle up on the sofa with my own dogs and the ones visiting from the shelter.

I love seeing these holidays come and yet am also glad to see them go so things can once again get back to normal...

Good night dear friends and sleep tight!!!

Well, I got through it. After posting, I went upstairs, turned on all the Christmas lights, and then brought the Baby Jesus out of hiding and back to His Mom and Dad, brought the shepherds and 3 Kings to the manger, snuggled the ox and donkey close to keep the Baby warm, then sang Joy to the World and Happy Birthday. Then I just sat in the living room for awhile, praying for everyone I know and everyone I don't know, and enjoyed the peace of the moment. Went to bed and fell right asleep. Though we were both up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep. So we got up, had a quiet breakfast together then opened a few gifts from dear friends.

Hubby's daughter, son & family will all be here mid-afternoon, so it will soon be chaotic with laughter and music again (the kids love to play the piano - our 7-year old plays VERY WELL - she's already been in some major recitals, it's a real joy to hear her play).

Thanks all for being here last night. I didn't stay too long, because I'm trying now to not stay in the dark thoughts, but move out as quickly as possible into lighter, positive focus. It's working. But I'm grateful that I had this place to come to in that brief moment when the loneliness overwhelmed me. Alone doesn't have to be lonely, but last night it was heavy and hard-hitting. Thank you for being here, BWS.

i glade it did lift for you eagle and as you say today gonna be diffrent. I had companie for most of night and help wrapping presents but then their was me myself and my reflexsions.

today just been great with L but so far i am feilding people off that are just being selfish and thinking of themselfs that would reallie threated his day and his happiness thers onlie been two so far but i do whish i din't have to try at lest not today or id get a break today. But stuffs as it is and i am an adult lol but it makes keeping the smiles up and a happie calm atmoshiire for him just a bit harder to keep creating at lest for awhile untill i move on in my head.

i am sure you wern't alone in feeling lonlie or even just strange last night or even today.

chattie i also agree sometimes its good and back to routines a blessing as much as theirs so much good about this time of year it can be tireing.

i wanted to popp in for half hour to whish ya all a merry christmass and for my owen reasons just to clear mu head maybee refocuse.

thank goodness i found eagles post and john denver poem, its help a lot.

now back to the happie treadmill with a bit more peace

thanks

Celtic, you and Lucien have been on my mind today...what kinds of things are you and Lucien doing today to celebrate?

We came to Chicago to be with my mom this Christmas (as I've done every year for years -- came to be with my family) -- one son came with me and another lives here. This year is tough for her because my dad died last summer -- 3 weeks before their 60th wedding anniversary. She was very dependent on him and none of us realized how much because she's such a strong woman -- but has macular degeneration and has suffered a few strokes that weakened her memory just slightly. Last night we had a big dinner at one brother's house -- we got gifts for all the younger family members and for mom. We've always done a Secret Santa and gotten something for each other, but this year we all decided just to give to charity in my dad's name.

Mom lives in a very nice retirement community. all the buildings are attached, if only by underground tunnels at some points -- so you can get to the fitness center, the dining room, gift shop, beauty parlor, craft room, computer room, post office, etc., all without stepping outside which today is 0 degrees F.

There are many widows here -- 3 times more women than men. So often when mom and I are walking somewhere, we pass someone who comments on this being her first Christmas without her husband, and how hard that is, and how it doesn't get better ( which doesn't help, truthfully).

She's grieving, even if deep down, and gets depressed, though she's got 4 children, their spouses, most of her grandchildren here with her. She was born and raised in this town, and has many many friends (though many have passed on). But Dad was her life companion for 60 year as they raised 4 kids together. They were 2 peas in a pod. As much as I miss him too, her loneliness of missing him is hard to imagine.

Nice and quiet Christmas Eve and day here - just me and the 4 legged types!

I feel bad for those having to sleep in airports last night, yet I understand most made it to their destinations today.

DJ, did your mom live in the retirement home before your father died? I can imagine it is hard to leave her after Christmas.
It's so sad that life can get so lonely the older we get.