Have you noticed friends come and go according to our stage in life?

I miss the friends I use to sit with at my kid's games. It was such a blessing to sit in the midst of peers and chat about life without an agenda. Now if I want to see those friends I have to call them, schedule it, and squeeze it in. Then we sit and eat in a restaurant. I liked it much better when we sat on a grassy hill with all the distractions.

This issue of friends coming and going has been the most difficult and painful thing I've been dealing with over the past couple of years. Every time I go through a bout of depression, I lose *friends*. This last time, I didn't have that many to lose, having recently moved from another province. The friends I had made here didn't know my history/pattern, and couldn't wait through my depression. By the time I made it out of my depression, they were all gone. And I haven't been able to make any new ones.

Very, very painful, having been so well-nourrished within a wonderful circle of friends through 17 years in my previous locale. Some of those friends are and will always be part of my life, but it's not easy to meet for coffee or go shopping.

This absence of friends - and inability to establish new ones - has caused more emotional devastation than I can describe here...well, I could describe it here, but won't. Suffice to say that it's a constant source of pain and grief these days...at least it was until I discovered Boomer Women Speak!

[ March 31, 2005, 11:39 AM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Thats good discovering the Boomers and I am in the same boat as far as friends go. My Chicago friends from the small town I lived in are totally different than the ones here. This is a big and busy town and most people like me, are trasnsplants and keep to themselves. Its not a friendly place at all and friends are hard to come by. I have made some decent ones by joining a writers group, same interests and all that. I do still long for the best friend to go for late night coffee with or mall cruising with, well, you know. This is a wonderful site but unfortunately just adds to the solitude of me and my computer no matter how you slice it. I hope you find a friend, a real live breathing one to hang with. I was very excited to learn today that my best friend from here that moved to Florida 5 months ago, hated it, sold that home and has moved back here, WHAHOO LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

My very best friend of 32 years has lived in Connecticut for the past 15 years. Even though she is about 2 hours away from NJ and we try to see each other as much as we can it's not like it was before she moved. The telephone keeps us current but there is nothing like going to her house and spending the weekend. All we do is hang out in her sunroom and talk. But there is no more let's just jump in the car and go to lunch or the mall.

I have a friend who lives in Washington state and my heart is hurting for her right now. Her husband is military, was supposed to retire two years ago but signed up for another tour and he left for a year in Afganistan yesterday. I know she is hurting and there are a lot of miles inbetween Washington state and NJ. I wish I could be there just so we could have a cup of coffee and tea.

The last of my local friends (who was my concert buddy) moved to Florida last year. I miss all of them.

I know what you mean Chatty, NJ is not an easy place to make friends in either. Everyone is suspicious or too busy. At least you have a writers group, the best I can do is on-line. The only groups I have found are down in the Princeton area or NY.

Jersey Girl, check out the local library, most put out a newsletter every now and then and it usually will tell of a writers group or even certain night people come in and read a book together and discuss it. Thats fun too. I found my Writers group that way.

Also, Borders and Barnes and Noble stores have writer's groups. I lived New Jersey, and it's true that there seemed to be an air of suspicion. I've moved so many times that it's hard to keep friends for a long time. LLL

I miss my New York friends since moving to NC. I've been back a few times but it isn't the same. I have a borders and a barnes and noble nearby, I'm going to see if they have any writers groups. That was a great suggestion. At this stage in my life, writing is my passion. I'd like to meet others who share this. My old friends I met in high school or while raising my children, none are writers.
That is why I loved meeting all the boomer women when I joined, we have so much in common!

TV, I agree: this site came to me at the same time I was moving around the country, losing relationships I'd had with people for 6 years. It is never the same once you move. I've presented at writer's groups at B&N but never joined because they are in the evening. I think that I will heed my own advice and put that on my to do list this week! Check it out in your area and we'll compare notes. LLL

Sounds good Lynn!
The boomer sisters are great but I'd like to meet a few women I can go out to lunch with! I haven't done that in over a year and I miss it!

Oh my gosh, lunch, how I do miss lunch with friends. My husband used to work for T.G.I. Fridays. We were younger than and he could handle the very fast pace of that very busy restaurant. Anyway, every weekend my co-workers/friends, a group of 4, would go to Fridays when he was working and live it up a little with free food. We would talk above the noise of the restaurant for hours. Now, I'm more likely to ask girlfriends to Mimi's Cafe! or some other quiet spot. LLL