Well slap me naked and hide my clothes! Then slap me naked for not having any on.

Hello fellow Boomer BowWow's...Trixie here, a.k.a. the Trixster...Seems I need your help. Could you please read below and then give me your opinion? Personally, I think I am owed a public apology. You be the JUDGE.

I'm going to write in a hurry because her royal painness is in the back of house trying on last year's summer clothes. Oh yeah baby...I love this time of year. All the crying, wailing, and nashing of teeth! Maybe NOW she'll put down the Oreo's. Fat chance of THAT happening...woohoo...haha...get it? Fat Chance? She's fa-...oh nevermind...(tuff room)

AnyHOW...I've decided to let you all know da Queen is not the kind, loving, and understanding person you all think. No sir ree...why just today, I was minding my own beeswax, peeing on this green thing by the front porch when she came flying out the door screaming at the top of her lungs, "Stop that! Stop that! You stupid dog, stop that!" Have you ever tried to stop peeing in the middle of it? It ain't gonna happen. And another thing, since when does "going" where you are SUPPOSE to go, "outside," make you stupid? Trying to fit your fluffy self in clothes two sizes too small for your fluffy self...now THAT is stupid. Am I right?

Uh...cuse me, I'm suppose what a plant is? Gee, we must have passed right over that one in basic training. And You would rather I go in the house? My thought is YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS TOOTS. House? Yard? Which one? You choose. Am I right or what?

I read your post everyday while Miss Oreo Poster Child watches Dr. Phil tell everyone how to loose weight. Now THERE's some waisted time...get it? "waisted?"...Lord...I should write more articles...what? You thought SHE wrote all of that stuff? HA! AnyHOO...I think you should write her and let her have it for animal cruelty...or at least turn her in to some talk show host...well? I've been abused I tell ya! I've been tortured! I've been beaten! I've been...okay, okay, maybe I'm stretching it a tad, but I DID NOT, I repeat, DID NOT get a doggie treat tonight because of the green thing incident. Is that fair? You be the judge...

da Trixster

[ April 25, 2004, 10:52 PM: Message edited by: jawjaw ]

Trixie my dear I've been wondering when you'd show up here and tell us the "inside scoop" on Da Queen! Well, I for one can't imagine WHY The Oreo Queen would get upset with you for "doin' your thang" outside when we ALL know that doin' "IT" inside gets us all in BIG BIG BIG trouble!!! Go figure!!! They send us mixed signals and messages all the time and we're supposed to "GET IT" somehow....now you and I know we are WAY smarter than our humans think we are - but reading minds is a toughie even for US.

Well - you hang in there girlfriend.....sooner or later she'll realize she was a bit "harsh" and apologize....and if she doesn't, you can always resort to the old "steal a tennis shoe and hide it in a spot she'll never find it" routine!!

See ya in the "Chat Room" babe.....

Your friend in Virginia, Sam Da Cat (ostensibly "owned" by Pam Kimmell)

Just for clarification...da Trixster is the queen's dog and I'm guessing Sam is Pam's cat.

Everyone better be careful how they answer because we have some real animal lovers in these forums.

Queenie, you better be good da Trixster or Chatty just might have to do something about it.

Oh, and Trixster, please send me the poster of Ms. Oreo. My son has posters all over the walls and ceciling of his room. I'm sure he'd love to have one of the queen!

Dear Trixie, Please let me introduce myself. I am Lady, Sherri's little dog, as opposed to the big dog who thinks he all That!

Of course she should apologize, we are not stupid if we are going outside where we are supposed to. I personally have a problem, she should know what my "look" means, that I need to go out! NOW. If she doesn't then it is her own fault, and oh by the way, when I pee on the carpet when the grandkids are here, then she surely knows that I resent all the attention she pays to them when they are here and totally ignores me! Can you believe it! When we are alone, I am the "little girl" and I get the hugs and the pats and the sweet talk. Well, I am sure that you all know how that goes! I have to go because the "Atkins Healthy Diet Queen' will be home for lunch. I hope she told her diet group about the cake she ate yesterday!! If not, ha, ha, I just let the cat out of the bag. Tehe..

Lady

Well..well...well...I knew you all would see my side of things. Lady..Sam...and the rest of the gang, we just have to stick together, am I right? Hey, maybe we could form some kind of Animal Rights Activist Group, eh? What? Been done?

Okay, well how about a union? Yeah, we could all ban together, demand certain rights, hold conventions, stay at fancy motels, pee on expensive carpet, etc..etc..I'm really like the sound of this...

Whatcha think? You all in? I would strongly advise you to think about it, otherwise, you may be dressing up for Halloween, or Christmas, and hey...don't forget those stupid ears on Easter. I'd like to tell her what to do with those eggs!

Trixie Hoffa

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Sam the Cat

p.s. My "pet human" caught me on the computer today but I just pretended like I was dusting off the keyboard with my tail!!!! Clever huh?????

Huh,excuse us but you three, Trixster, Sam and Lady think you got it ruff? Well our names are Reeta & Rosee, we're Yorkshire Terriers with long impressive blood lines but does that count for anything around here, NO! We call our residence The Stop and Stay Hotel. Our person takes in any and all strays, not just dogs and cats but birds, reptiles, goats and pardon the smell, a burro. These interlopers take her attention, perfectly good food, and her time of which we never get enough of. We are forced to sit in an air conditioned house, on our velvet pillows munching pate, and looking adorable, while waiting for a kind word, and she gives these strangers her love and attention. One of these days we are going to strike and refuse to swim in her pool or sleep in her bed. Then she'll be sorry. But in the meantime, we will be patient. We would write more but its time for our beauty shop appointment. Ta,ta for now.....chow babys, dogs rule....sorry Sam.

Reeta & Rosee,
I've thought it all over and I've come to the conclusion that the only fair thing to do would be for me to come and live with you all. No..no...don't thank me, it is the least I can do for my sistahs, especially ones with royal blood.

Now...the way I see it, I'll need to go by and pick up Sam the cat, the off to scoop up Lady, then we will be over to YOUR place for an extended visit. Get the pillows ready girls, I'm on my wayyyy!!!

p.s. Your person doesn't make you dress up in people clothes, does she?

Naw, no dress up, but she is very fussy about our velvet and rhinestone collars. Rhinestones, huh, you think diamonds would be in order for us, she calls us her little princess's. You three come on over, her bed is big enough for us all and there are pillows enough to go around. She's about to pick up another creature that she thinks needs a place till a permanent one can be found. We think she said it was a Cock-a-too. We hate to even try to imagine what would have a name like that. She just got rid of those pesky puppies, up all night squeeking for food, gastly little brats. Now some old squakin/talkin bird. You all come on bye, you sure about that cat character, Sam? Pet power, in a group we got it.

Weep no more my ladies! Sam the cat can...more than likely, help out in the "bird" department. I'll check with Sammie in the morning...we have to wait until YOU KNOW WHO goes to work so we can use the computers and get in our favorite chat room....if everything works out, I'll pay old Roscoe P Coltrain, the LAB down the street, and see if he has...what else, a LAB TOP I can take with me on the road...