MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, would we have thought twice!!


POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma,Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest o f your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
Unfortunately, none required. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated!

As a mother, I believe the blessings of motherhood are more than a paper can hold! The heart holds them forever! I thank God for the inmense blessing of motherhood and pray this brings a smile to your face as you meet today's motherly challenges with love a nd confidence that the Lord will equip you to do it well! Sincerely, Songbird

Think about it ladies, we get paid nothing to do all this.

Well, we do get paid back with the love and admiration our children give back to us plus the hopes that they'll have kids who are just like they were!

One of the over 80 crowd at our Church wears a t-shirt that reads:
Get revenge, live long enough to be a burden to your children.

Then theres another one she wears that says:
Be kind to your kids, they'll be choosing your Nursing home.

[ January 24, 2006, 08:10 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Chatty: It's absolutely true! And there are those who don't care much about their parents at all, so... do we always reap what we sow?

I take a neighbor to all her doctor appointments and cared for her for five months after her back surgery four years ago. She's now almost 82. Her son lives less than five minutes away and hardly ever stops to see her. When he or his married daughters want something they know how to call her. He's even called me from his job to go pick her up when she was finished from an emergency stay at the hospital. Before I could utter anything other than "well, I guess" he had already hung up!

My baby is a a junior in college now and the older 3 kids are all grownups with good paying jobs (thank you Dear Lord) and so they are self sufficient...my kids reassure me constantly that they will always need me...but I really miss all of those seemingly menial Mommy jobs...like tying shoelaces and packing bookbags and reading the latest Berenstain Bear books ...I loved every second of being a stay at home Mom...low pay or no pay...it was so rewarding for me....

Me too AvalonBlondi. I still do a lot of "menial" tasks for them. My son even tells me he misses me when I'm off on my nature hikes and not there to have coffee together.

Blondi, I'm with you girlfriend. I love/loved being a SAHM.

Even though I work full time at BWS and NABBW, my office is in the home. I still consider myself a SAHM because I believe in being on the homefront while my kids are here with their friends.

Fortunately, I have a web master and a virtual assistant with whom I correspond online and by phone. For now, It's working.

While right now I have only one teenager at home I am thankful for being a SAHM too! I do hope my kids appreciate the time I've spent with them and remember for life the principles I instilled in them!

It warms my heart to see them express their love. Not one chat between us finishes without the "I love you" from both parts.

Ladybug...you're son sounds so sweet...you're so lucky...cherish him!

Dotsie...You are amazing...I don't know where you find your energy, but I am so happy that you have so much, and created this beautiful place for all of us...and still manage to be there every minute for your kids and their friends...you are one in a million!!!

Songbird...those "I love you's" are the best feedback any Mom can get... That's so awesome!!

[ January 27, 2006, 03:12 AM: Message edited by: AvalonBlondi ]