I've mentioned in here before that I read the book BITCH IN THE HOUSE a couple months ago. While I was at the store the other day my husband found the book THE BASTARD ON THE COUCH.
The wife wrote the bitch book and her husband wrote the bastard book. They are both anthologies.

While reading the bitch book I was shocked at how angry so many women feel about their lives. For the most part they felt like they did EVERYTHING on the home front, with the kids, and in the work place while the husbands were rather removed mentally from the picture.

Do women in here feel this way, and if your girls are married, do you think they feel this way?

It's a shame people are in marriages where they aren't given, nor do they give, support. Life is too short to be that unhappy, imo. Dave and I have been married almost 9 years and we've built a good friendship into a great marriage. I've found when I support him, he, in turn, supports me. When I tell him, "thank you for giving us this wonderful lifestyle" he tries to outdo himself in the giving department. I've found a little appreciation in life travels light years. The more I appreciate and tell Dave I appreciate him, the more he works to gives us not only our needs but our wants.

Most of us probably don't get enough thanks or feel we're appreciated enough. I know I don't feel appreciated by Dave's mother. I'm the primary caregiver and she and I are *always* in a tug of war over something - usually trying to get her dressed or bathed. She resents my "bossing her" and I resent having to be the boss/mommy. But, this too shall pass.

I've a dear friend who is in a terrible marriage. She and her husband snipe at each other all the time, they aren't supportive, they constantly find ways to belittle each other. I wish they would divorce. I believe he suffers from clinical depression but his attitude is "there's nothing wrong with me, it's everyone else". Until and unless he's willing to change, their situation will stay dreadful.

Why? There's no need to make life unpleasant. Unpleasant things happen to us willy nilly without going to the work of causing them to happen. Some people don't want happiness because they don't know what to do with happiness or feel they don't deserve happiness. So very sad.

I know some people who have jobs that don't pay very well. It *costs them money* to work yet they continue to work outside the home. If they would stay home and provide a sanctuary for themselves and their families, all of them would be so much better off. For example, one woman has 6 children, a husband and drives 35 miles, one way, to work a minimum wage job. WHY? It's costing her money!

I'm a numbers cruncher and for me things like working outside the home comes down to "am I making, or spending, money". Black and white.

In a word, no, I don't feel angry or bitter or short changed. I feel loved and nurtured and go to bed each night knowing my husband cares for me. I know he wants to fulfill my needs and my wants. I know he wants me to be happy and does things to give me happiness. I know he enjoys our marriage and our lifestyle and our companionship.

I know the more I try to bless him and help him and care for him and love him...the richer my life is. The more love I give the more room I have to receive love.

I am loved by my husband and because he loves me, my life is blessed beyond my greatest expectations.

God has restored to me the years the locust had eaten. I am undeserving of God's grace, His mercy, His love, His gifts and yet, I still receive them in lovingkindness and appreciation.

Dotsie, I rambled...sorry.

Yes, I am happy. Even when life throws curve balls, I am happy. I've made some awful decisions in my life and life hasn't always been easy or good. I've had dreadful things happen to me but I still choose happiness. Even when my Carharts are a little soggy, I'm still happy. LOL

OMIGOSH! I'm re-reading the book I just published!

Now...aren't you sorry you asked????

LOL

Didn't think it was going to be *that much*!

Okay Thistle, you can have all that farm work. Been there, done that, ain't goin' back.

The book, however, is another story. What's it about? Where can I read about it? You're keeping things from us. We need details.
smile

Oh gosh, Smile...boo-boo...I mean the epistle I wrote in response to Dotsie's question. I've written a children's book but haven't found a publisher yet.

I'm running away from home today, going to Charleston, WV to have fun.

bye...

Well shucks, I was just trying to get more work for you I guess. As if you need more.

Maybe the epistle as you call it is the beginning of your next book. You never know. Sounds interesting to me. I would buy it. I love farm work so much. I could read about it forever.
Onward
smile

When I was just a skinny knock knee'd young girl my family went to the farm weekly for fresh eggs, chicen and milk. Plus we bought bags and bags of fresh fruit and veges. We were allowed to run and play and I was fascinated even then by the animals and they seemed to like me too all except the goose. That bugger would attack any cars that drove in and cornered you in your car till the farmer or his misses came out. Try as I may that goose wouldn't make friends with me. I sometimes wonder if hes alive or been a long time in the pot. I wanted to marry a farmer and live amongst the many animals. Instead I married a city slicker. Maybe if one of my books makes the big time, I can move to a farm and have room for all the animals I want to rescue. Thistle you are truly blessed, I know its back breaking work but at least you're happy and content and that is everything.

That is a very interesting question. My reply would be, yes and no. Yes, because I do all of the housework, run errands, fix meals, make appointments, write, repair household items and help my husband.

No, in the fact that my husband gives me the opportunity and time to write, pursue my college goals, seek other opportuities for growth and loves and cares about me.

Like many marriages, there are positive and negative influeneces. In my marriage we have learned to share and encourage. This took time and work but it's been worth it. We have been married for over 33 years and we still love and care for one another.

We also see the end of our lives coming and this has helped to 'weed out' differences and conflicts.

Good question; took some thinking and analyzing...

Toni

I can so relate to this problem. I do everything around the house. Although this winter my husband started helping lug the laundry to the basement. We have to go out and around to the back of the house and downstairs, which is trecherous in winter. He refuses to clean or do any dishes though. The odd time he will cook, usually I ask him too. His answer is that he works all day. Well what does he think I do? I clean, cook, take care of our son, and try to write in my spare time.
I get very frustrated because he leaves his stuff everywhere and I have to pick it up. It is like having another child sometimes. I love him, but he can get on my nerves. Then he keeps saying" Are you on the computer again?" I tell him of course, this is my job.....

Icequeen

Time warp. Did anyone notice that almost a year's time has passed since Dotsie's original post and Ice's post? Goes to show what a timeless topic this is! When my husband is off work, I am on task, picking up everything he handles. Why do wrappers get placed on the counter instead of 1 foot step to the garbage? I don't really have anything to complain about! LLL