Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have!

I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse.

I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to
the Hefty bag people...

Signed,
...A relieved menopausal wife

And we worry about OUR moods....

Funny!

jawjaw, I trust that you disposed of the waste in an environmentally conscious manner.

huh? why...you don't think...ha! I mean you think it was me that-...ahem...you really think I'm capable of-...gasp!...little ole me?

girl please...

besides, mine is buried below the patio...remember?

Yeah, but I thought you put him in a Hef, oops, first!?

well just great...Remind me not to tell YOU any more of my deep dark secrets...Bet you would be the first to squeal in a prisoner situation, eh? I can just see it now....

"Oh no! You'll never get me to rat on my friends...uh nope...no way...not me...what? no chocolate? You want names, addresses and what else?"

geezzz...