It's taken me a long time to admit or to realize this is what I've got. And I've been reading a few posts in here on this topic; more than likely, I too got it with the birth of my children, perhaps even my first whose birth was long (30 hrs), hastened with a pit drip, and after the birth, when I still couldn't have sex 6 weeks later (it hurt! a lot!), the dr. "opened me up" with a series of ever-increasingly-bigger instruments. As I've gotten older, it's gotten mostly worse; though there are times when my undies are dry, these are few and far between. It seems to worsen if I have had a lot of water or coffee and have to hold it in for awhile; at work (i'm a teacher), I limit my fluids to avoid this problem. I wear a mini-pad that is wet by lunch. So that's the background. I'm thinking of going for at least a lookover by an MD, but I've read SO many horror stories online of treatments gone wrong for this problem, especially surgery. I'd sure hate to end up worse than this, as my condition at this time, though not ideal, is at least tolerable. Any worse and I'd feel like a freak. So who's had successful surgery? How do I even find a competent surgeon who's successfully treated this? (aside: I had venous closure on my legs a few yrs ago and was greatly disappointed at the results...don't want another botched surgery...)

Cara, please talk to your doctor. At least find out what the problem is. There are non-surgical alternatives that may work. And surgery can be successful. Get a referral from your doctor, or look for a doctor who is board-certified in urological surgery. Sadly, the horror stories make it onto the internet, but the successes don't.

Also, ask around and try to see someone who comes highly recommended from a friend/colleague who has already had success with the doctor.

Here's a good article from Dr. Horn, our medical expert at the NABBW:

http://www.nabbw.com/display_associate.php?associate_id=19&column_id=312

Great article. She sounds like someone who knows her medicine and cares.