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#15343 - 11/24/05 08:59 AM
Re: First Thanksgiving without
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Member
Registered: 01/27/04
Posts: 1423
Loc: Warrenton, Virginia
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I will pray for all of my Boomer sisters who will be spending this Thanksgiving without a loved one for the first time......I absolutely know that sense of emptiness but I also know that even to this day (and it's been years since I lost my parents), I FEEL them at the table - especially as we sit there thanking our Lord for the feast before us.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving ladies....!
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#15348 - 11/26/05 06:52 AM
Re: First Thanksgiving without
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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Since Sam and I are ones who are experiencing our first holiday without Nichole, I want to thank you all for your' very thoughtful posts. I would like to add my own thoughts to yours for all others who, too, are dealing with loss this season....
Dotsie, thank you for your pm. I would like to answer you here tho', so I can share with all of you.
Since it was just Sam and me this Thanksgiving, and we were having a hard time deciding what would be the best way to spend our day - Sammy called me to say that he had made reservations at a hotel so that we could go to Tamarack to ski. Well, Sam skiis - but I so dearly love the mountains, the trees, the alpine smells of deep forest and water, and ESPECIALLY snow, that it's more of a treat for me, I think. And besides, there are always those trendy restaurants and so cute shops to explore.....This was Sam's treat, so I readily said "ARE you kidding? Where's my coat? I'll need two pair of socks, a scarf, and..."
So Wed. we took off in jamming traffic under fog where visibility was one or two cars ahead. With darkness approaching fast. Sam decided to drive since my night vision isn't exactly what it used to be - but young, fast thinking, and alert as he is, I could feel his tension. Which only got worse as we ascended the mountains in hairpin turns - we kept trying to find tail lights to follow, but it was hard to keep up and then the SUV's would creep up behind, sending their headlights into his rearview and making vision so difficult. (for those of you who have SUV's, I beg you to consider this and stay a car length or two behind a regular vehicle). Somewhere along the way, we lost all the traffic - nobody was going skiing this holiday it seems, but us. That would be fine at the resort, but on the road, not so good. Just a few cars, and so only a few tail lights now and then. Harrowing..But just when I thought I was going to tell Sam to pull off and we could rest in the car, we rose up out of the fog to a beautiful, starlit, pine bordered sky. With twinkling river below, bouncing up and over the rocks..Surely a glimpse of Heaven. And safety. Whew! What a relief. And as Dad always said "Sure feels good when it quits hurtin' don't it Jo?" No kidding.
When we arrived at Boulder Creek Inn, we lugged all our stuff up to the second floor, and sat down to look out the window at the dark view beyond. We could just make out the outline of the mountain and trees - but even this brought excitement...
I had already cooked our Thanksgiving and brought it with. We had a kitchenette, so I had just thought I could warm everything and we could still enjoy turkey and trimmings...And it really did turn out well, except I was thinking that they would have a small oven to bake the pie and rolls - not so. So we 'nuked' the pie - and had a very drippy , runny pumpkin mousse!!!But it's the taste that counts.! (Sam didn't think so, "Mom, you sure this is safe? There's eggs in here aren't there?) "Sam, the eggs are cooked enough, you'll be fine". Pie in the garbage - it really didn't even taste good either.... LOL. But we were snuggled each in our beds, full with turkey, mashed pot., broccoli with cheese sauce, stuffing, gravy, and rolls (all of which are mandatory for this holiday at our house - we were missing a number of other things, but in the spirit of adventure, we did without quite happily)
Morning came, we made a hearty breakfast of steak and eggs - scrambled with the broccoli and cheese from last night, rolls again, fried garlic mashed pot. from last nite too, and bacon. A person needs energy on a mountain!!!! And out our window were very frosty pines - the kind that look as if they had been sprayed with the canned stuff - ladened, I think would be the word, with frost. Snow too, I think. Sammy and I had coffee with our view on a little table who had chairs with bears and jumping fish as backs..The mountains were rising above the fog and looking as if they were saying "hurry up and get up here! Time's awasting!" So after a sweet conversation about our Nichole, we did.
What is it about beauty? It's just so BEAUTIFUL!!! Tamarack is in it's infancy as a resort. But already there are restaurants, shops, sports and movies etc. inside for kids - a market to buy green groceries and everything else and more...I was just going to walk around, take in all to see in the warm sunshine of the freezing day. Cold but when the sun shines on your back, you could sit at a table on one of the many cobbled decks, and read, feeling perfectly comfy in just a sweater.
But Sam proved to be just himself. After a couple of runs down the slopes, I was surprised to look up and see his unmistakable little "strutt". The Sam-I-Am strutt - coming across the snow. I waited for him, watching him and loving every step he took. Even the more for he is my only one left. And I also see the others - the young girls all plumped with their ski wear, turning their sweet heads (or not)toward Sam. I know what they're thinking. "Wonder if I can meet HIM on the slopes!!" "or maybe I could cozy up to his obvious mother over there and get my foot in the door".
But Sam is all mine today, and looks neither left nor right (amazing) but comes straight up with his killer smile and says, "Mom! You gotta come up there with me - we'll just have to get you a lift ticket! There's a nice yurt (see? there really IS such a thing) up there, and they serve coffee, wine, sandwiches - and have a great deck to sit on!" So he marches to the ticket desk where he is prepared to spend $35 for a lift ticket, but gets it for free. Tells his story about mom waiting down here in this gorgeous place, but dying to get up into the fray. Such a schmoozer! Makes me wonder what he tells those girls....
I am ecstatic and gladly make the trek to the lift. Even with my little sweater topped clog-like shoes through the snow. We topple backward onto the lift chair and up we go!! Swept up and up and up. The ground going farther and farther away. My stomach goes from where it should be to my throat. I look at Sam, and he howls with laughter - "MOM - you're scared to death!!!!Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.- Do you want the bar down?" "YES! I WANT THAT BAR DOWN right now!!!" "O Mom, you're fine, turn around and look at that beautiful view!" "Can't move, Sam. No turning. No looking. No moving at all". But in a minute, I'm thinking, I have to have a picture. Gotta get the camera out of my horse feeder purse and take a picture of Sam on this lift.....(I can't figure this out, since all of my life I have loved heights. Not even scared when I should have been - couldn't wait to get up and look down. But strange things happen after 50.....)So I sit straight, hold on with one hand, keeping my eyes trained on the trees, while digging for the camera by touch. Sam is trying to be sensitive, but just can't. This is too funny for him. And so he starts with his "boy" antics. "Mom, did I tell you that this ride up takes about 20 minutes? And then of course, there are always the stops. Sometimes, they can take 10 min. or so apiece. I just hope for your sake , there's not too many of them". "Shut UP SAM....." But still I got that camera and got a great shot , I think. And then he took one of me with mock fear which was really real.
Just how good can a yurt look? Pretty da-n good, I'm telling you. And a glass of Chardonnay looked like champaigne.....Further more, a deck under my sweater shoes felt pretty good too. So I sat at my table, with my glass of wine, and looked out at the most gorgeous view I have seen in decades. An expanse of mountain trimmed valley, snow capped with a spreading lake below. And above the lake, twining around the tall pines, were the fingers of the fog. But still above, was sun - warm and toasty in the cool air.
My son came to the table several times after descending the slopes to tell me of his adventure. He has new skiis today, and of a different kind than he is used to...So he got his face in snow a couple of times - he's so animated telling me of this...so fun to watch. I am glad for him. So healthy and happy. Handsome and smart. The sun on his face, on my face - we'll be ok.
I made a new friend with the yurt attendant. So now I can say, oh you know Chad, the guy at the yurt? He came from Jackson Hole and...........
On the way down, I had no fear. Only pleasure - snapping pictures left and right ( I had only ONE glass of that Chardonnay, you women!) and Sammy and I had a great ride home - little fog (well, a few tense moments)and I could see all the mountains, pines, and streams, frosted trees, that I could ever desire. We had our great coversations and we were filled up with each other. How great is THAT!!!
And now, I challenge all of you to find out just how many blessings I had that day!!!!! Thanksgiving, 2005.
Searcher
I mean it! How many?
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#15350 - 11/26/05 08:42 AM
Re: First Thanksgiving without
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Member
Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
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Today after taking Mom home following a Thanksgiving visit, on the way back to my house, a 75 miles trek, it rained buckets. And although it was midday, it was quite dark. All at once up on the tree-covered mountain to the left of me, there was a little bit of a rainbow. There was no sun showing at all. It was so cool.
I'd been processing missing my dad - there was a Christmas song playing in the bank while I waited in line - I'll Be Home For Christmas. It's been a long time since I felt at all teary about Dad. He died in 1983. So after the rainbow experience, as I was driving along, it felt like a whole bunch of people I love, including Dad, who have passed on were with me surrounding me, holding out their hands to me, telling me they never really do leave.
They are always with us, in more ways than just in our memories.
Blessings,
Vi
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