Locally, our area hospice is having a conference this Thurs and Fri. Although I am going as a vendor with our soap business, I also hope to glean some insight, talk to the speakers, and hand out some of our Childless Not By Choice Support Cards that one of our members made for us. Here is an excerpt from their flyer. I'm really working on getting the "word" out about how to respond to, deal with and grow through the loss of being able to have children...

Statement of Purpose: The purpose of this conference is to provide both lay people
and professionals with experiential and educational models for understanding the process of
mourning and the potential for growth through loss.
At the end of this conference, the participants will be able to:
• identify the potential for individual and professional growth through the
experiences of grief.
• compare and contrast the impact of coping strategies for a variety of losses;
• unacknowledged loss
• loss of a child
• loss of a spouse
• loss of relationships
• loss of health.
• discuss various cultural and spiritual aspects of grief and loss.
• identify helpful strategies for the health care professional who is called upon to help grieving
individuals.
• identify symptoms and gain insight into grief.
• describe how to make grief manageable.
• discuss the grief experience of others and be helpful.
• explain effective means for responding to one’s grief.
• identify a variety of mourning styles.

This is a great tiem to host such an event, but I'm surprised job loss isn't included. What do you think?

I def agree, Dotsie. But I'm thinking that hospice mainly deals with "people"-type losses.

I'll certainly find out!

All loss is loss...
I have attended similar events during training and once it is recognised that any loss is a variation of the final departure that is death a person may learn to cope.

The changes to life style loss brings also needs a coping stategy.
Cultural differences show how others have traditionaly coped.

I guarantee you that if a natural disaster flattened my house and place of work, destroying all my photos and worldly posessions ..... I would be devastated as much as if I had lost my whole life. Because in effect, I did.

I've had to start over a few times in my life, and despite some insightful coping mechanisms, the feelings of those losses are still very much with me.

So I totally agree, Mountain Ash. All loss is loss.

Let us know Di, the main points from conference.
One thing I think our modern society is falling down on is perhaps the lack of rituals for some people on how to deal with loss.

I also think that now with the Internet, there are different ways of ritualizing loss --provided (with emphasis) if it's grief and empathy expressed with face-to-face good friends/family that are living all over the world.

After a "walk thru" of the venue, I may not get into where the speakers are. But I'll try to listen when I can and report back with an update.

Update:

Although I was not able to attend any of the classes, I was able to speak to several of the speakers and organizers.

I did learn that, locally, we have a "Center for Grief Services", FREE, through the Hospice. What a great thing...and something I never knew! The gal I spoke with said that they've counseled for various topics such as pet loss, friendship losses, job loss etc. But last year they "touched" on infertility, yet it was not hugely popular. That it does come up in some sessions, but not really dealt with.

So, she did ask if I'd consider being a speaker next year. You betcha! We both felt it may not be that popular, but I mentioned the various aspects of "us", the childless not by choice. For example, spouse chooses not to have more/adopt, adoption failures, singlehood etc. And the fact that "caregivers/friends" need to know how to respond to/help/sympathize.

So, may I encourage anyone reading this to call YOUR local Hopsice to see what they offer. I've heard from several sources that these folks are wonderful and compassionate!

While reading their brochure, this statement struck me:

Grief is a natural response to loss and a process of restoring balance in life.

THAT, dear ladies, should be our ultimate goal in life..to have BALANCE RESTORED!

I'd welcome any more discussion or any info you may learn from your local hospice!

We MUST get the word out to those we KNOW are hurting yet do not know where to turn!

Hospice is an awesome organization and their value is beyond
description. Our local Hospice even provides clergy who do the
funeral services if family want to go that route. I support Hospice financially; it sure is a worthy cause!

My step-father never had a minute of counseling in his entire life. He had every reason to need counseling, including receiving and giving child abuse, PTSD from Korean War, broken relationships with all SIX siblings, inability to respond in civil terms, etc. etc. When my mother entered hospice, he entered their grief counseling services, as well as care-giver respite services. I was amazed at how his compassion increased, his anxiety decreased, and his over-all view of the world at large became more generous and less cynical. This is only one of the examples of how I have personally seen hospice work for good in times of grief. It is an awesome organization and I'm grateful to those who work for hospice (including our LadyJ)