Number5,
I think all grief is about the loss of a dream. I think losing the dream is part of what makes losing a child so horrific. We have such great dreams for our children.

From the time we are little girls, the dream of a loving marriage and family is placed in our hearts. To give up that dream is incredibly painful. And each time we lose the dream, the more painful it becomes. Writing can help ease the pain.

I'm working on a book about strategic planning for writers and I think the physiology of it applies here. Physiologically, taking a dream from an emotional dream in the right brain through the logical left brain then to the physical execution of the hind brain can relieve the overwhelming nature of emotions. Allowing emotions to emerge without constraint can make them less painful.

Writing can only help. Write down the dream then write down the logics of why finding that dream did not work out. Don't think, just write. Write it as images. Write it as poetry. Sing it. Don't fight the emotions, just write them.

That's a part of something a friend who is an art therapist does. It might be worth a try.

smile