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#71222 - 11/18/05 03:21 AM
Christmas w/adult steps...never happened yet!
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Ok, not sure what to do, or if I should do anything.
DH and I have been married 9 years. Not ONCE has his kids offered to come HERE for Christmas. Granted, the first few years, DH was working (shift work) and before that he always worked Christmas since he was single.
So, do I say something (DSD lives 5 hrs away w/her DH, DSS lives a plane ride away) or should I be happy to spend ANY time with them AT any time, even if it's a few weeks before Christmas. The birth mother always seems to "get Christmas". These kids are 33 and 35.
We're probably boring to them since we have five dogs and a lonely house. I just get so irritated. DH says he wants them to "make their own decisions" but what gives? I dont' want to say anything without DH knowing first. I almost think he's afraid to ask them.
What should I do or not do??
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#71224 - 11/18/05 09:09 AM
Re: Christmas w/adult steps...never happened yet!
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Yeah, I just got to thinking. I've never formally invited them! Now I feel really badly. And I will convey that to them as well. Like, "Ya know, I got to thinking why our whole family has never spent a holiday together. And it's MY fault for never inviting you all!!"
I'll see how that flies.
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#71225 - 11/18/05 11:39 PM
Re: Christmas w/adult steps...never happened yet!
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Member
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
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I'd go ahead and ask them to come after talking to your husband about it.
They may actually prefer the peace and quiet in your house and find it comforting, not boring!
I had my husbands father and step-mom here for eleven Christmas' in a row. They'd stay with us for two or three days.
I miss her and wish she could be with us again. In fact, I liked her better than my father-in-law.
We rarely got asked down to Pa. where my husband is from. I had to do all the asking and begging.
I'd have really appreciated an invitation like yours so go ahead and try it. If they say no it's their loss, not yours and you can say you did try.
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#71226 - 11/22/05 04:39 AM
Re: Christmas w/adult steps...never happened yet!
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Member
Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
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The worse that can happen is that they say "no". And perhaps you can make it another time.
Lynn
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#71228 - 11/25/05 09:37 AM
Re: Christmas w/adult steps...never happened yet!
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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ok, I spoke with DH about it. And I mentioned this to his son:
"Ya know, Dad and I have been married nearly 10 years and we have never had you guys here for Christmas. I feel it's my fault for never officially inviting you". He says, "Well, our family was never 'like that'".
Hindsight: I wish I would have said "Yeah, but we CAN be that way".
I went on to tell him that I want him to know that this is his home as well. That we would LOVE to have our children here for Christmas just once!
DH says that we can "try" this with his daughter,but he thinks it won't work. The "MOM" is literally addicted to her kids and has pretty much control over them.
So, we'll see what happens.
in the meantime, I'm going to take someones advice and decorate for Christmas before DSD and her DH get here next week and WE will have Christmas in addition to our own little baby shower.
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