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#5547 - 10/11/03 01:22 PM
Re: keep the love alive
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Member
Registered: 11/28/02
Posts: 887
Loc: SW Florida
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This past Tuesday was our 26th anniversary. We've been moving from one home to another for the past week (just can't do that in 1 day like we could when we were 20 )and with all the moving expenses -- we didn't have the bucks to plan anything special -- so it was just an average day -- go to work -- and as it happened -- this was our day to babysit. Hubby works at WalMart so Belle (my grandbeauty)and I were walking around the baby section waiting for him to get off. He walked up and said wait just a sec -- got to go tell someone something -- and then a few minutes later went back and clocked out and joined us in our window shopping trip. About halfway down the isle I hear the lady on the loudspeaker say "Attention WalMart shoppers and employees -- I'd like to take this opportunity to say congrats to Dwight and Carolyn Horton on their 26th anniversary -- and she went on about WOW 26 years -- isn't that just great -- it's so obvious when you see these two together how happily married they are -- and a few more wonderful things about us I thought that was the sweetest thing -- money couldn't have bought a more meaningful message -- that he would have his pride in "US" announced to the world (guess I don't have to worry about him "hitting" on any of the girls at work now huh ) just wanted to share
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#5548 - 10/12/03 03:45 AM
Re: keep the love alive
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Member
Registered: 08/27/03
Posts: 791
Loc: Nipigon, Ontario Canada
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We've been married 18 years now, and I guess I'd say one of the most important tips is communication - we actually talk to each other! I know some couples who never seem to talk, he's got his plans, she's got hers - she doesn't know what his schedule is and inevitably there's a conflict and someone's upset. Most of our talks are around the supper table, when we get home from work and are getting supper ready and we just dump our day out and listen to each other. I've also learned in all these years, that John is not the type for romantic notes, etc - he shows his love by cleaning house for me when I'm busy, cooking on weekends, looking after me when I'm ill or worrying about me when I drive to the city and I'm not home when he's expecting me........and I can be quite content with that. Wanted to add to this - was just reading the other day in the bible study I was doing - Beth Moore wrote that she got some advice long ago to "pray to thrill to her husband's touch". Not that I have a problem in that area right now but I thought I would paraphrase that prayer to "Lord, may I always thrill to my husband's touch and he to mine"
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#5549 - 10/11/03 08:45 PM
Re: keep the love alive
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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Lionspaw and Evie, I liked both of your stories and whatever you two women are doing, you are doing it right. Keep it up and thanks for sharing your wisdom. SEE? NO JOKES. I really meant it.
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#5550 - 10/11/03 09:41 PM
Re: keep the love alive
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Member
Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
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The love of my life, my husband, just had cancer surgery. My birthday was yesterday and he surprised me with cards and gifts that he bought prior to his surgery because he was afraid he would not be able to afterward during recovery. I expected and was comfortable with the day passing by but it was the most remarkable day.
Since we have been living in the here and now of late, I can honestly say that if he or I were to pass on tomorrow there is nothing that we wished we would have said to one another. That is a soul mate in my opinion. To say anymore to him would be repetitive.
Of course, we hug, kiss and sometimes just communicate with our eyes. Sounds corny but it gives me goose bumps. This is more profound than a quick romp if you get my drift.And more lasting.
We have been together for 23 years and married for 18. We have an almost 5 year old son - that will give all you boomers a glimpse of what our life is like and our energy level. Not to mention the inability to even speak during dinner! Thanks girls you have helped during this trying time.
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#5552 - 10/12/03 02:14 AM
Re: keep the love alive
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Lynn, what a sweetie to plan ahead and shop for you before his surgery. Sounds like a two are a winner couple! Yopu mention thanking us for being here for you. Please know you can always come in here and count on us to be here for you. That's what this place is all about! Also know you are all in my prayers. Keep giving thanks for what you have! It always makes life more enjoyable! Blessings on you and your boys....
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#5553 - 10/13/03 02:47 AM
Re: keep the love alive
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Wow, I'm impressed! Y'all have great relationships! Very refreshing, and what a contrast to the horror stories I hear most of the time!
My hubby is probably the second or third most aggravating person I have ever met! However, I have taken it on as one of my life's missions to remind myself that he's not the #1 most aggravating person in the world, and when I can't find anything else to be grateful for, I can look at that, look at the fact that even with his totally natural human faults, he's a good guy, he's not perfect, but God knows neither am I! OK, that's the tongue-in-cheek part...
One way that I help keep the love alive (married or 2 years, together for 6)is by telling him every day stuff that I really, really like and love about him. Because I think about this all the time, how handsome he is, how good we fit together physically, the way he keeps working until he makes me laugh when I'm feeling rotten (which is a great deal of the time), how loving and considerate he is when he's at his best....
He's a person I really, really want to praise, highly and frequently. I tell him how much he lifhts up my life, and how much he turns me on, and I do my best to make him laugh. I try to not let an opportunity to appreciate him pass me by. I think men in general need to hear praise from their partners, and Raul in particular needs me to build him up (in truthful ways, of course).
We also are good about saying please and thank you. That may sound trivial, but I think it's important, and it's one way to not take your mate for granted. We kiss a lot, little pecks on the cheek or on the lips. We make eye contact a lot, too.
One thing that Raul did at the very, very start of our relationship, and I'm not sure why he even thought of this, but this one thing makes him a relationship GENIUS in my opinion! He told me, not long after we met, and when we admitted to each other that we were deeply in love, that the honeymoon would never end. He said that 4 years before we were even married! And we have made it our goal to do whatever we had to to keep the spark alive... and it has not been hard to do, either, despite all the hardships!
He loves me. He just *loves* me, and he refuses to stop loving me. That's really all I ever wanted, besides a writing career, heh heh! Seriously, part of our success is me finally understanding what's important in my life -- what I've wanted most is just to love and be loved in return -- just like the Nat King Cole song "Nature Boy," except I'm the Nature Girl.
Even in the worst of times, he's looked me straight in the eye and told me that the honeymoon was not over. That in my illest moments, or months, he tells me how much he loves me and needs me, that he just couldn't make it without me. Even at times when I'm flat on my butt in bed, and I don't even smell so good, and I look worse than I smell, he looks me in the eye and tells me all those wonderful things... and he *means* it.
And so the spark never really goes out. And we keep on falling back in love with each other when things get stale. We even consider it a bit of an adventure riding the bus together!
P.S.: This is a guy who never once bought me flowers! Even though he knows darned well I want them. Well, once he bought me a pen with a plastic sunflower glued to the top of it -- my favorite flower, but the pen didn't write worth anything! He does give me gifts frequently, actually, but he just doesn't feel natural giving me flowers!
<grin> It's something you just can't really communicate to someone who hasn't experienced it, yes? What's it's like to find that person who is your true home.....
This is a fantastic topic! I wanna hear / read more! Love, Lil
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