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#45688 - 06/02/05 01:44 AM
Why do men...
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Member
Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
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WHY DO MEN PEE STANDING UP??
God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them.
He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!"
On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam! was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place...first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."
"What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Brains," said God.
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#45691 - 06/12/05 10:27 PM
Re: Why do men...
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Member
Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
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Well Wendy...maybe from now on I'll start with "spew alert!" grin...
Meredithbead...you've been in my thoughts for a couple of weeks now; how are you? In my thoughts though, you're BeadWoman. Isn't it funny how we assign names to folks we know? I think you should trademark the name BeadWoman...the advenstures of BeadWoman...that just sounds SOOO COOL!
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#45695 - 06/14/05 06:45 AM
Re: Why do men...
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The Divine Ms M
Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
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Thanks for thinking of me Sandra! I've been working 70-hour weeks since mid-April and have about 3 more to go before I have a breather.
The cactus story: Neither homeowners nor regular insurance paid for squat, but we're thinking about taking something off on taxes for decrease in property values, or something like that. Didn't have cash to pay for gardening service so we borrowed a chain saw and cut a path through the cactus logs. No one could get into our yard for over a month.
We cleared the path right before my heavy work schedule began, so we cleaned up what could be cleaned, and left the rest. There are cactus logs all over our tiny yard.
Some of the logs have started to grow babies (cactus buds). The main trunk, which we cut down to 2' tall -- and it was still too heavy to move, we could upright it only partially -- and too thick for this particular chain saw to cut further -- is also growing cactus babies.
The bouganvillea bush, which got completely smashed when the cactus fell, has somehow found a way to grow on both sides of the fallen cactus.
The little brown birds, whose nest was squashed when the bush got clobbered -- the birds are back too, although not as many as before.
Life goes on. Nature contines, and new things grow.
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