I recently read a book "A Million Little Pieces". It's a true story about a 23 yr old addict that goes through 16 days of intense drug and alcohol rehab. It's gritty, rough, but shows it like it is; not a pretty painted picture for the faint hearted or pure. Although it has had a lot of media attention regarding truth v/s fiction, there is solid truth the merits and realities of day to day living in a rehab program.

What it also shows is how the 12 step program works. It got me thinking how this program would be of value to those with other problems such as mental illness or other types of addiction, including food, cigarettes, gambling, you name it.

I've already started. It feels great. I'm getting positive responces. I feel lighter. I know it's not a cure, but I feel more accepting of myself in something I can't change. I can change the way people remember me.

If you have anyone in the family with drug or alcohol problems you should read this book. It gives great insight into the users state of mind even if the facts are not 100% true.

[ February 24, 2006, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: suzieq ]

I have a dear friend who is bipolar. It pains me to see the negative image he has of himself. He is on medication. I can see how other people don't understand his situation. They take their own good mental health for granted and totally disregard what this man is going through. That angers me. While I can see how he affects others I knew him before he was this way and he doesn't bother me at all.

He's had heart by-pass surgery (trauma to the body can bring on depression) and all his family members are dead except a niece and nephew who refuse to have anything to do with him. He lost his job (he quit). His girlfriend who he lived with for many years left him. He was married before this but she left after his first heart attack when he was 43. He's 61 now.

Right now he is all alone but does try to get out with the few friends he does have. I do worry about him because he's on disability and must go to the Veterans hospital for any health care he requires. He needs to see a cardiologist as well.

I know I have veered off of your subject, so sorry. Do you think you could post those 12 steps? I will copy them and give them to him at the right time.

[ January 17, 2006, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

The twelve steps worded alittle differently to fit our circumstances would be:

1. We admitted we are powerless over our emotions - that our our lives had become unmanageable. We sought the necessary psychiatric help.

2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could help, along with the proper medications, to restore saniity.

3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power as we understand it.

4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

5. Admit to the Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Be entirely ready to have our High Power remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Make a list of all the persons we had harmed, caused trouble for, and became willing to make amends to all of them.

9. Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or yourself.

10. Continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admitt it.

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power as we understand it, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakinging as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to try to practice these principals in all our affairs.

Thanks so much suzieQ. I will write these down and wait for the right time to present them to my friend.

I think he needs to hear too, that he is a valued, worthwhile person don't you think?

Ladybug, I also wanted to say your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. It's not easy to find people that truely understand mental illness. Those with good mental health take it for granted and are less tolerant of the mood swings and depression.

Feeling non-productive doesn't do much for the self-esteem. Not having family or many friends really intensifies flare-ups.

My thoughts and prayers are with him, especially his physically health. Get that under control and with a good friend like you on his side, and some positive thinking the rest will fall into place.

Tell him another helpful technique is journaling. Just write everything good or bad that comes to your mind. It's sort of like self therepy.

[ February 24, 2006, 06:20 PM: Message edited by: suzieq ]

Thank you suzieq. I think that maybe many well-meaning people are so busy in their own lives to make them impatient with another person suffering from any form of depression. After all, in order to truly listen to one suffering from depression you must take your time and be kind and patient. I do have the time to listen to someone who is in need of another just to be there to listen.

I have two other friends as well who suffer from depression. They know they can call me or stop here anytime and I'll drop whatever I'm doing to listen to them. I'll put up a pot of coffee and make sure they have something to eat if they want to. Oh I've had the comments from other people that go something like this,"how can you stand to listen to that, she's not wrapped too tight." This just makes my blood boil.

Have you ever thought that all you wanted was for a person to be kind to you and take a little of their time to listen to you? After my husband had his stroke and I was well aware that I was suffering from a mild form of depression, all I wanted was for my close friends to listen to me and tell me everything would get better, as it has. I caught myself being angry and resentful of people who I thought were my friends but never even called once after learning about his stroke.

It was the two closest friends I have who lent me their ears and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes it can do wonders can't it?

A person suffering from depression IS a worthwhile and valued individual. They just need someone to remind them of that.

Can I do that for you suzieq? you ARE a worthwhile and valued woman. Your daughter loves you, is that not enough right there?

Please keep posting here and I will try to come each day and talk to you.

Try to understand your husband because perhaps it is very difficult for him but only because he cannot give you the answers that you seek. It doesn't mean he doesn't care.

I'm a good listener, I always have been. I learned it from those kind enough to listen to me at the times of my own life when I needed it.

I wish you could feel this (((( HUG )))) and know that it's truly meant for you and your entire family.

Thanks so much and a big (((HUG))) back!!!

I just caught that hug! Thank you!!!!!

suzieQ do you notice if your depression gets worse or is harder to deal with when you are very stressed out?