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#2467 - 08/15/05 04:25 PM
Re: How to handle this?
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Member
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 17
Loc: United Kingdom
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quote: Originally posted by TVC15: I agree with smile Lonely people do desparate things and unfortunately usually end up even lonelier afterwards. I've had experience with this myself and its just not worth keeping someone around like that. They will bring you down if you let them.
I know you read what smile had written but I'm not sure that you read what I had written afterwards so my reply to your post (above) is basically: If your friend is going through a tough time, you think it's ok for you to ignore them? And when they become aware of your absense (because tragedy is an incredibly lonely time for people) and they then say words to the effect of, "I'm missing you and could do with some friendly support," you're saying it's then ok for you to think, "Woah, this is way to heavy for me so I'll ignore them even more now."
Please tell me that's not what you are saying.
Itza [ August 15, 2005, 01:45 PM: Message edited by: Itza ]
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#2469 - 08/15/05 06:00 PM
Re: How to handle this?
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Member
Registered: 08/04/05
Posts: 17
Loc: United Kingdom
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Hi Dianne
You're right, my question wasn't directed towards you and I can undertand why you want out of your friendship with the way your friend has abused you. That is totally uncalled for and you don't deserve to be treated like that by people who should really be your friends.
My question was directed toward what TVC15 had written. I simply cannot believe someone would turn their back on a lonely person. Ok, so maybe people have forced their own lonliness by acting a certain way towards their friends, much like your friend has done to you, Dianne, but people like myself have been through a tragic time to turn around aghast that people who I believed were friends just gone.
It was an incredibly lonely time so I reached out to my friends without success. God, that hurt. It wasn't lonely just for me but for my husband, too. We almost lost our baby son. Fortunately, he didn't die but he ended up severely disabled. Maybe that's what these 'friends' couldn't cope with which is understandable up to a point but to abandon you at your lonliest time, that is so wrong. Friends shouldn't do that to each other.
I feel like I've hijaked the main point of your post Dianne, so I want to apologise for that.
Take care Itza
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#2473 - 08/19/05 02:32 AM
Re: How to handle this?
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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chatty lady I'm with you...when people become destructive in our lives it's time to dump them...This woman must be really miserable and unhappy and wants to make her as miserable as she is. Life is short...don't blow it on losers...there's too many wonderful things and people in life to waste time on those who only want to be ugly and bring us down.
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#2475 - 08/20/05 03:22 AM
Re: How to handle this?
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Hi Dianne,
Oh boy can I relate or what. When I was younger and working in an office. I worked with this other woman who befriended me. We used to go out to lunch together and then became friends outside of work.
It didn't take her long to belittle me, and to do so in front of other co-workers. In particular the male co-workers. She couldn't stand that I received compliments from them, nothing bad. Just you look nice today or something like that, and even compliments on the work that I would do.
Finally, after a few years I just couldn't take it anymore because she was bringing me down with her. I just treated her like a hot potatoe and dropped her. That was the best decision that I made at that time.
I would suggest to you that, not only to drop her, but to block her email address. That way you don't have to put up with insults. Even when we consider the source, it can still nag at us. So blotting her out will make you forget her in the long run. You don't need that aggravation.
Anyway, my 2 cents.
Cheers, Cathi
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