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#200154 - 02/26/10 01:00 AM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: AvalonBlondi]
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Member
Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
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Well....Our 29 year old daughter came back home last year. She works part time and goes to school part time. She was an interior designer but the money dried up. So she's going to school to be a teacher. Then our 21 year old son just came home today because he can't afford to be out. And our 17 year old son is just home.
We don't have a lot of rules - just "be respectful of everyone else, clean up your mess and "yes, I love you but I'm not neccessarily compelled to fold your laundry to prove it." Everyone has different schedules and though I might cook, it won't be three meals a day. I will cook most certainly for Dad and Gabe, but you other two who are in and out with crazy work-school-dating-schedules, yes you two, look in the fridge and don't whine if there's no left overs because your OTHER brother came home to see me and ate the spaghetti that was in the fridge. I love you all. And don't bug me when I'm painting." That's it. Those are the rules. Oh, and clean your cat's cat box and feed it. I have my own dog and cat. That's it. I think.
The other things that some parents have to deal with like boy/girl friends being in the bedrooms or staying over - yeah, we don't even have to discuss that because THAT has never been up for debate, much less discussion, much less happen.
Kate
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#200197 - 02/27/10 01:13 PM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: chatty lady]
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Wow, more of us expereincing boomerangs every single day.
Kate, my daughter who is 22 also knows that rule about the boyfriend. We have two guest rooms right now and her beau is more than welcome to stay there, and he does, but never in the same room. That's an unspoken rule. However, I have freinds who let their kid's boy/girl friends sleep with them. Hello - don't make it too easy for them or they'll never leave!
I'm happy to have my daughter home. She's a great kid who is just taking a little bit longer to put all the pieces together. She's in school part-time and working part-time, visits her grandfathers, hangs out with her boyfriend (they spend most of their time at our home) and isn't really able to save money becasue she only works part-time. I'm guessing she'll be around until she finishes school, works a year or two and saves money to move out.
All the kids I know who are making it on their own are doing so because they have housemates.
Our 21 year-old who lives in Brooklyn, NY has 3 roomies. He has been subletting half his room since October since he's been on the road since. He's finsihing this tour Tuesday night and is flying home to Baltimore for about a week before heading home to NY where he hopes to stay for a few months. I think he's tired of sleeping on tour buses and in hotel rooms.
Our oldest bought a home, but he has two renters in the home, and there's a carriage house out back that he rents to a resident at UM hospital. There's no way he could afford to do this on his own.
People need people to survive. Whether it's family or friends, so maybe this isn't such a bad time.
Blondi, I can relate to the products. I took my daughter to CVS. It started with conditioner, and ended with conditioner, shampoo, some face wash, and body lotion!
chatty, I'm so glad to hear your son has friends to live with. I'm sure he'll appreciate their company during this time in his life.
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#200240 - 02/27/10 09:46 PM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
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I think that all of this is a blessing really. I think my children took it for granted that it would just be easy to just jump out there on their own, but I love that in God's incredible wisdom, he shrinks the head size a bit when they find out that maybe they don't know EVERYTHING, and you can't just be smug about making your own living, when the economy can turn in a moment's notice and leave you stranded, needing your family's help. Each one of my children have had to experience that, and now they've learned a new tool, and an invaluable lesson - the importance of planning ahead, and learning to live frugal. Very important things. And I didn't have to say a thing! Well, it was way after I said all I was going to say.
Kate
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#200243 - 02/28/10 08:18 AM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: DreamrKate]
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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#200277 - 02/28/10 08:33 PM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
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I think we could learn a lot (about living peacefully together) from other cultures. I've never been a huge fan of a house crammed full of people, HOWEVER, I don't think there are other countries who are as fanatical about "their own personal space" as we are. I'm actually amazed when I watch something like HGTV where the young couple is looking for a house and there's only two of them but they find it difficult to live in something smaller that 3,000 sq. feet. Geeze, I've got three kids at home right now and our house is maybe 1,800 sq feet and we do it. Of course everyone is up and doing things all the time so we're in and out, but doesn't it teach us patience and compromise on some level? Especially now. We're ALL learning how to make it with compromise and how to live with or on less. It's a good lesson.
Kate
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#200295 - 03/01/10 10:30 AM
Re: Boomerangs
[Re: DreamrKate]
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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I was raised in a three bedroom home with one bathroom and three sisters and one brother, Mom and Dad and a dog. I totally believe it's taught me to go with the flow. I can handle commotion, noise, comings and goings. I can talk in three conversations at one time, ha! I don't care if someone sees me changing, or sitting on the toilet. I don't care if I have to share. I can sleep in a double bed with a friend if I have to. Whatever. So much of this is because of Grand Central, where I was raised. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
We vacation with several families each summer, all staying in the same home, kids on the floor in our room sometimes, kids/some adults up most of the night, adults up early, babies up early, and I deal rather easily. I'm grateful for the good old days.
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