dancer, I can only say I'm not doing enough... thank you for thinking otherwise, but if I were, I'd put all other considerations aside and do what my heart keeps prodding me to do... And you labeled it so well - "TRAP" is a very good name for it... my mom is trapped and so am I (and a couple other siblings that want things to change NOW) In one of her rare moments of speaking clearly (when she's not anxious, afraid, full of despair or heavily medicated), she said quietly, sadly and so sweetly today, "I just want to go home." My heart fell to the floor. I cry as I type this. It all feels so hopeless.

Princess, believe it or not, I have never been one of her special children, and she and my dad both have held favorites. But, you know, she remembers my name more than any other. She even calls other sisters by my name. It's really bizarre, and I don't know what to think of it. Why, out of over a half century of not feeling loved by this woman would this happen? It makes no sense. But, who in this world gave me the idea that anything was suppose to make sense?