The New Alphabet

"A " is for Apple, an d " B " is for Boat,
That used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now "A's" for arthritis; "B's" the bad back,
"C" is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
"D" is for dental decay and decline,
"E" is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

"F" is for fissures and fluid retention,
"G" is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
"H" is high b.p.--I wish it was low;
"I" for incisions with scars you can show.

"J" is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
"K" is for knees that crack when they bend.
"L" for lost libido, what happened to sex?
"M" is for memory, I forget what comes next

"N" is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
"O" is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
"P" for prescription's, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

"Q" is for queasy, is it fatal or flu ?
"R" for reflux, one meal turns to two.
"S" for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
"T" for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!

"U" is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
"V" is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
"W" is for worry, NOW what's going around?
"X" is for X ray, and what might be found.

"Y" is another year I'm left here behind,
"Z" is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed

Should we be so bold and depressing and point out the ones we can relate to? HA!

I'll admit to E,I,K.