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#122045 - 06/24/07 03:31 AM
We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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...or considering it.
What is going on? DH and I are feeling depressed over this. His brother, a good friend of mine, a friend of DH's, a couple of other couples we know.
I am wondering why. Why does this happen? Now some reasons are obvious, but when you think a couple is "rock solid", then they spring this on you.
Do you think it stems from boredom? Non-communication? Selfishness? Stubbornness? One or both parties not willing to make necessary changes to make things work?
Just thinking aloud here, but it's such a heaviness we both feel. Makes one want to run away and not listen to other's problems.
Thanks for reading.
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#122046 - 06/24/07 04:54 AM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
[Re: Di]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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I remember the lst divorce I learned of...was of my best friend...after about 10 years of marriage. I was her maid of honour.
And so on.
1-2 of those friends do need a sympathetic ear now...but your heart must be willing to listen 100%.
It's too pat to say, make it work out..if the marriage started off on rocky foundations.
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#122048 - 06/24/07 04:08 PM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Quote:
Are any of them coming to you for advice?
Yes, several! And one guy went to my DH in hopes of getting direction. DH is NOT one to get involved in others' problems, but I was proud of what he did advise.
Wonder what the bible really means when it says "Bear ye one another's burdens". It's so hard when all yu hear is others' complaints.
What I try to do is help them embrace what they DO have...look around and SEE what's out there. Look at the blessings etc. WHY do they feel the way the do? Selfish?
I also think it's a part of becoming "cranky" and less patient with life...the way the world is today etc. It's enough to anger God!!!
My sister is also one of them. I remind her that he is STILL a human begin (even though an athiest)..and not to be mean. But to be fair and honest, which they are doing.
It's so hard to watch from the bleechers!
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#122050 - 06/24/07 07:15 PM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Thank you, Hannelore. My DH feels the same way...staying away from "trouble". It's hard when it's your sibling, but the rest is very tiresome.
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#122052 - 06/25/07 01:20 AM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
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My sister was there for me when I went through my divorce and I was there for her. They were years apart. Mine was first. I can't begin to tell you how much it meanth to have her there for me.
_________________________
chick
~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~
~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~
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#122053 - 06/25/07 01:32 PM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Member
Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 195
Loc: Georgia, U.S.
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Quote:
People change over the years. I know I have, and I'm not the same person who my husband married 32 years ago. If you grow and develop together that's wonderful…but I'd say the odds of that happening are pretty much 50/50.
Hannelore, you hit it right on! How many times have we heard from someone in the throes of divorce stating, 'He/She is just not the same person I married ten/twenty/thirty years ago!'
Well, I should hope he/she isn't the same! Talk about retarded personal growth, if he/she is the same person! I honestly believe a marriage or long term relationship, one that has been what we would call 'good', may end, due to one or both people growing beyond who they were in the beginning. Growing, as individual human beings, throughout life, growing together, as a couple...both are equally important, to maintaining long-term relationships.
_________________________
Jeannine Schenewerk
www.intouchwithjeannine.com[i]'It's never too late in Fiction-- or in Life to Revise.' ---Nancy Thayer
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#122054 - 06/25/07 03:43 PM
Re: We know of SIX couples either divorcing...
[Re: Jeannine]
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Yes, choosing to stay thru "good times and bad" is what it's about.
DH mentioned to this one guy about menopause. Perhaps his wife is going thru some health issues? Both parties have lost their mother so they really have no one to "go by" as far as genetic aging processes. She has a younger sister. They do not live close to any relatives etc.
She is 48, he is 52, married 30 years with two grown sons.
I feel for them...and am proud of DH for telling this guy things that he may not have thought about.
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