|BWS Stories - "My World is Empty Without You Babe"...Losing Loved Ones|
"My World is Empty Without You Babe"...Losing Loved Ones - Gains and Losses, Hits and Misses
L. B. Greer is currently semi-retired in the Southeast and
has an in-home private tutoring business, but she has started writing and
attending writers’ conferences, monthly local writers’ meetings, and retreats
in the past two years. Although her background is in Math, Statistics, and
Science, she is branching out into Christian writing as a great way to share
her faith. She had two short stories in anthologies published in 2009 (Susan
Osborne, ed. & Lonnie DuPont, ed.) Greer also started a periodic devotional
writer’s blog in January 2009 for those needing a little spiritual challenge
and insight into Greer’s heart and soul. Of course, there is a novel in the
making, but it may take years to get published.
Gains and Losses, Hits and Misses
How can I define “loss” unless it’s in comparison of where I
was a quarter century ago as a young woman and where I am now? Unpredictable
and severe changes have occurred in my family, my faith, and my frame.
years ago, I was married to a career military man, and we were expecting our
first baby girl. I was delayed in getting into marriage and the motherly way. I
couldn’t decide whether I wanted to be a career woman or a married mother at
first baby girl was born, I held her, breast fed her, and kept her happy and
clean. I knew I was the one for this job. Who needs a career when you are
holding life itself in your arms with blonde curly hair and beautiful brown
beautiful little girl came about three years later. Life was perfect. My
husband adored me and my cooking; my girls were cute as cupcakes and kept me on
my toes. I was learning how to run a household and how to parent—an awesome and
very challenging occupation consuming about eighty hours weekly.
had some very different plans to mold me into a modern day Job. While stationed
in northern Germany, I lost my husband to suicide when the girls were three and
six. My life went into a tailspin, my birth family couldn’t understand or care
for me, and my in-laws turned into out-laws.
had a rough time growing up fatherless. They were never the same without their
dad, and neither was I. When the last child left the nest, the first one was
murdered at eight months of pregnancy. My widowed mother defaulted on an eleven
thousand dollar loan from me right after I buried my firstborn child and my unborn
it was time to move away and start over in a new state and town. I’ve healed some
each year from losses and betrayals. My remaining daughter oozes disdainful
irreverence to all I hold dear, but I take it in stride. I know someday her son
may treat her the same way.
meantime, my faith has weathered enough storms to top Katrina ten-fold, and my
frame is falling apart. Having Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue is a poker game
every day of what will get accomplished. “Who cares?” is my motto. Do what you
can and don’t worry about the rest.
Life has been a rough ride, and
it may get rougher. My skin is leather-like now from the mileage emotionally
and physically. More importantly, my soul is solidly planted inside the throne
of grace. The relationship with my daughter will change with enough prayer and
time. Thank heaven my body will wear out, and I will get a new model after this
I have lost
petals and gained some pounds, but I am a baby boomer in full bloom!