|BWS Stories - Contest Winners|
Contest Winners - My True Authentic Self
Andria Donnelly is a poet and writer with a background in Economic Development and Public Service. She has articles published on the theme, “That was then, this is now.” She resides in Oklahoma and is currently working on her book “A War Baby's Cry.”
My True Authentic Self
Buried deep inside me is my true authentic self.
Today it got a tiny urge to jump out of itself.
It sat beside me on the couch and snuggled way too close,
and said, “What is it that you don't like about me most?”
“I feel when you're not happy, you know it hurts me too?”
“I am so alone now, when I'm deep inside of you.
You used to be a happy gal and always made me smile.
I haven't had that happen much, in such a long, long while.”
I grabbed my self up off the couch and looked into her soul.
I said, “No, I'm not happy, I'm feeling too darn old.”
My self put on her saddest face and looked towards the ground.
“I g- g- guess if you don't need me, then I shouldn't hang around.”
Feeling sorry for my self I stroked her soft and smooth.
“I apologize my little friend, I'm just not in the mood.
I'm going through some changes and they're driving me insane.
Who am I, what's life about, what do I have to gain?”
She jumped upon my tired legs and put herself in place.
The biggest tear I'd ever seen went running down her face.
“I wished for years, you'd come to me and ask me, “who are you?”
I am going to tell you now, to you I must be true.”
“Hear my words and heed them dear, right 'til the very end.
Don't interrupt me as I speak, just listen, I'm your friend.
God's plan for you includes all change, it makes you who you are,
every wrinkle and gray hair, every scrape and scar.”
“The lines from laughter as a child, a Mother and a wife,
are engraved upon your face, it shows that you breathe life.
The changes to your body that once was young and tender,
just needs good food and exercise to bring it back to slender.”
“The key to life is “make your self feel good when you don't want to.”
“Change your heart and change your mind, and to thine own self be true.
Change is going to happen so why not get involved,
in changing for the better, you'll make your self feel loved.”
“You must learn to celebrate, your work here is not done.
Just thank God in a loving way, for he is number one.
He has great things in store for you, and if you need some help?
He will gladly help you, if you'll only help your self.”
I told my self, “You are so wise, I really needed this talk.”
She joined our hands together and we took a little walk.
In front of our hallway mirror, “Just study my projection,
I am your beauty inside out,” she said, with deep affection.
“Put your hand against the glass, with mine as its reflection.
We will use our praying hands, to ask for God's direction,
You'll hear his whispers often, at times you'll be unsure.
Perhaps He's closing a window, or opening another door?”
I examined her much closer now, and saw my inner beauty.
All this time I didn't know my self was such a cutie.
“Celebrate your changes by looking here each morning.
“No, it's not a threat,” she smiled, “it's just a little warning.”
“Don't miss a chance to see your self when going past this mirror.
Look deep into your eyes, yes, you can move a little nearer.
I'm in there somewhere hiding, on a shelf that's near your soul.
Hug me soft and gentle, and you never will feel old.”
“That's great advice,” I told her “and I think I'm going to take it.
Each day from now 'til eternity I feel I'm going to make it.”
“Of course you will,” she smiled at me, “Because you are so strong.”
“Now I am going to go back, back where I belong.”
She jumped up in my folded arms just like a little elf.
And bored a hole back through my soul to sit up on her shelf.
I threw my arms around myself and hugged me oh so close.
Now, I don't know who I love... me or her the most.
How do I look at life these days and celebrate my changes.
I examine my beauty all the time as I go through many stages.
I think about her deep inside sitting happily on her shelf.
If I disappoint her now...I'd disappoint my self.
Embrace your self my sisters, accept just who you are.
It took so long to get here, to go back is too far.
Wrap your arms around you, and when you need a little help.
Just sit right down, relax... and start talking to your self.