Dots, it's that chain of iniquity mentioned in the Bible. I feel that fathers are more responsible than the mother for what kind of man his daughter will be attracted to. If he treats her with love and caring, she will immediately know there is something wrong with a man who isn't a good guy. I couldn't recognize it because of the way my dad treated me and it created a familiar feeling. Like, I had known him my whole life and I had...in my father.

My mother refuses to acknowledge that I work with battered women. She won't talk about it. I stopped trying to figure her out a long time ago so don't even question it. She isn't a part of my mission in anyway. Her attitude won't change what God expects of me.

Allison, when I was told to stay with my abuser it was 1989 so there has been some change since then. Not enough change but change. I think what bothers me is some churches thinking that abuse is a spiritual problem, which it is in a way, but it's a learned behavior and really takes a lot of input, support groups for batterers and therapy and even then, the percentage of success is extremely low. Many women stay in this horrible situation and pray for a miracle and many end up dead. Plus, it hurts them spiritually to not have their prayers answered and makes them feel worse. Men batter because--they can get away with it, they've learned it and they like doing it.