Wow, miss two weeks, miss alot! I wanted to read all the posts before I joined in.

I too have had to endure verbal and mental abuse from my husband. He is a very good manipulator, and it has taken me a long time to be able to see through all that. The only saving grace for me was the fact that I am very independent and I pretty much do my own thing. It has always been that way. It was always my daughter Sofia and me going to church. Sofia and me going to school functions. He didn't want to be bothered. The only time he acknowledges me is when he has a complaint about something. The other time is when he wants sex. He can't touch me without having to grope my private parts. The difference now is, I just don't tolerate it. I tell him how I feel, where as before I was afraid of him critizing me and pointing out my complexes.

3 years ago I tried to leave him and managed to move out for 8 months. The mistake I made there was the fact I left because of the wrong circumstances. If any of you knew what I did you would be shocked. He asked me to come back and Sofia was having a difficult time, so I have been giving it another try. The reason Sofia was having a difficult time was because he stooped low enough and told her things that she didn't need to know. He did this to turn her against me. He used the same tactic with my parents and it worked. The only support I had was from my brother and his wife.

There is so much more, and when I am ready I will tell my story. The reason it has taken me so long to come out of my shell about this, is the fact that I really needed to make sure I was comfortable telling you all.

It took me two years to recover from all this and that's because I found a different shrink and he really has helped me more than I thought possible. I don't think I would be alive today if it wasn't for God's Hand carrying me. I wanted to commit suicide 3 years ago. It wasn't a cry for help type either, I was serious. I didn't want to live any longer. Thanks by the Grace of God, He gave me enough strength to think of Sofia and how this would've affected her. This is when I checked in a psychiatrict hospital, and was there for 8 days. Believe it or not, I became so attached to the other patients, I didn't want to leave. It was so safe there, and for once in my life I was able to be myself. I was so cheerful during that time, I sang and I danced. No one was embarrassed to be around me while doing so. One person even asked me what kind of meds do they have me on, and that they wanted some, LOL. I told them no different than the ones I had been taking before. In fact, I was the only patient there that didn't need sleep aid. I slept good the entire time I was there.

Oh dear, I didn't mean to ramble. There is so much more, to be continued at a later time.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi