Most battered women can't figure it out. It's a complex lifestyle but when "that" light finally goes on, it becomes simple. When I speak, I always tell the audience to never ask a woman why she stays because she doesn't know why herself!

There are so many battered women out there who need help. This is why I couldn't just write a book and not carry it further. This is why I'll go to another website and answer a question when asked to do so, to help a woman. I can't sit back in my current world and know that women and their children are being abused. I can't say that it stresses me or bothers me when I know what kind of life they are leading at that very moment while mine is happy. My spirit won't let me do that. Yes, there are times I get worn down and need to step away for a few days but it doesn't happen that often.

When I was being abused, I didn't know another woman who was going through the same thing. Like you, Nancy, I felt alone in the world. Who would understand? Who could understand? That's what keeps us trapped in shame. What would they think of me? That is what not only keeps us silent but silenced as well.

I want to mention that when I wrote my book, I didn't use my abuser's real name. It wasn't to protect him but I did it for several reasons. One, the book wasn't about him or exposing him. What purpose would that serve? It was for the victims of abuse. His real name was Hank. Also, his sister and her husband were so supportive and loving of me during that time and he was very high up in the Mormon church and I didn't want to cause them any problems. They wrote me long after I left him. I felt she had been through enough because of her brother. People already knew he was abusive. His friends found out without me ever saying a word.

Intention is very important when talking about being abused or writing about it. My intention was not to be published. I was going to write my story of recovery and put it in the local shelter for the women to read while there. Like I've discovered so many times, when we remove ourselves from the pain and hatred toward the abuser and use our experiences to help others, God and His Universe always step in and take over. It's amazing to watch!