I have been reading this thread in awe for the past few days. It is amazing how much knowledge and strength I feel when I read these stories.

Dianne, I have always thought it to be healthy to develop a new type of relationship with our ex's, whether it is an old friendship, lover or husband. You have a past together and even though one part of the relationship is torn, there seems to be some value in continuing a connection.

I imagine that it would be unhealthy, on the other hand, to have ties with an abusive ex. I have no desire to have any contact with my abuser even after 15 years. I don't even want contact with my former step children, who were just as sick as the ex.

Is this normal? Is it situational? Is it a part of forgiving myself?