I guess a part of my problem is that most of what I write is somewhat different than a helpful spiritualor non-fiction book.
In fact, what I really like writing is probably not going to help anyone at all. I have a need to write musicals and the easiest thing for me to get the opportunity for is towns that are celebrating special events. The musicals are purely for entertainment with a little education thrown in. It costs the theaters and towns where my work is produced thousands of dollars, part of which is my commission ($6,000 to $10,0000 usually paid from a grant), and much more for production costs. Most ofen I write for small towns where production money is difficult to come by, but I have it in my contract that they do so because that's what I love about it. I have written for free, but the towns seem to want some kind of ownership. There is much better attendance when they commission and pay for the play. It can take up to a year to get the money and production on stage.

When my work is finally pruduced, there is no drug, no ego trip, nothing that compares to the joy I feel as I sit in the audience and hear my work spoken, sung, and danced. Every laugh, every tear, and every hand clapping is just for me. It should be against the law to get so high. Sometimes I feel guilty for it.

Right now my state is two years away from our first centennial and I should be marketing and applying for grants like crazy , but somehow I haven't. I've been busy. I just finished seven short plays for my church and I've published short stories and poetry, but I really long for those wonderful huge expensive musicals and I don't even regard the other as work. But at the same time, I feel guilty for passing up an opportunity. I've always operated on the concept that "Opportunties are God's gift to us and what we do with those opportunities are our gift to Him." But then maybe passing up an opportunity is a luxury I never had before and should allow myself.

Like all writers, I also need validation and for me that validation comes at a high cost.

Just rambling thoughts.
smile

[ January 11, 2005, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]