Chatty, I've never gotten nerves /nervous for Christmas dinners that I/we hosted...

But then coming from a large noisy family it's always noisy, vaguely chaotic. So if something/food dish got wrecked/burnt abit, not everyone would notice nor would they care after trying to eat it. It just gets lost in the hubbub of chatter, noise and screaming (from kids).

Just too many distractions and me running around doing stuff. (Despite having cooked 75% of my food along with potluck buffet laid out from other people bringing food.) You have to realize that each home (1 bedroom) I've lived in, is too small to have 13-15 people sit all down formally at 1 table. Some years 75% of the guest had to sit on the carpeted floor with their food and chat. I ended up buying a 2nd couch which only solved part of the problem.

After my sister died, I truly doubt anyone in my family, cares about Christmas meal failures or get-together in general. We're probably just glad the other peron is alive. By now, it's over 20 people over at the big family meal.

So for first time, my parents are not hosting family Christmas Eve meal. Will be a sister of mine where everyone else will pack in..including dear departed sister's 2 adult children and their respective boyfriend, girlfriend.

I'll be with dearie here for Christmas...3,000 kms. away. We will cook a home dinner as usual with a menu that we will cobble together several days in advance. Christams will be far away from my birth family ...as it has been for past 8 yrs.

Just before Christmas, we are going snowshoeing in the mountains for the day.

So I started off...by stashing away soy egg nog that I just bought from the store.

Just after the New Year we will go for a weekend in Banff / Lake Louise area. Haven't figured what..perhaps more snowshoeing.

Eagle, I think of my sister every day but it varies in time length and depends on what I'm doing on whether or not, the activity allows my mind to wander abit and think of the past.

I am not certain, but if my father's cancer gets really bad next Christmas, then I may change course and consider Christmas in Toronto with big family gathering. We'll see..normally I fly out to see family members when it's not snowy and icy season.

It's so odd, Eagle you cannot see your grandchildren for Christmas.