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#9842 - 12/20/05 08:38 AM
Re: Whatever happened to integrity?
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Member
Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
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foundhervoice, just look at this revelation as an attack, meant to get you off balance. Keep your head up and stand your ground, you'll get through this too.
Chatty--how do I put his e-mails in No message? Does that mean if he sends I don't receive them at all? I would LOVE to do that--it would mean I wouldn't have to change my e-mail address.
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#9844 - 12/20/05 12:02 PM
Re: Whatever happened to integrity?
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Member
Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 80
Loc: Colorado
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Dotsie, I don't think she invited my son over in order to deliver this zinger because she paled visibly when she answered the door and saw me standing there. Guess she assumed the ex would be picking up my son, and not me. Bummer for her. When my older son came home Saturday after a school event and heard that his brother was sleeping over at this kid's house he freaked out and told me that he didn't want to hurt my feelings but he thought I should know that something might be going on between his father and the boy's mother...apparently his dad had admitted being on his way out to lunch with her a few times when my son put him on the spot and asked him where he was going all gussied up on the weekend. I thought the boy was being overly suspicious and pooh-poohed it at the time because the ex had always told me he thought the woman was weird so I couldn't imagine that he'd be attracted to her. Besides, even if he was interested, I never dreamed that she would stoop so low as to betray me. We were supposed to be friends, and where I come from, friends don't go out with friend's husbands. Silly me. My boys also told me yesterday that they found out that they were all going to meet up at a local ski resort this week (the kids are on Christmas break and their dad is taking them snowboarding) and were supposed to hook up for dinner tonight in fact. My boys didn't know if her husband was planning on being there too, but they were really upset about the whole thing. Guess I'll find out more when they return. I can't believe that their father would put them through this. How callous can one man be? Maybe I should refer to him as the "sperm donor" from now on, cause I can't believe that a real father could behave so selfishly toward his own children and totally ignore their feelings. In the meantime, yours truly is living on $8 an hour from my part time seasonal retail job at the mall and meager handouts from the soon-to-be-ex, as we still do not have even temporary support orders, and I cannot afford to go out to McDonald's for Christmas let alone take my children skiing for the week. Things have got to get better...Please pray for me! Thanks...
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#9847 - 12/20/05 06:37 PM
Re: Whatever happened to integrity?
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Foundhervoice, ditto on the above. Your soon to be ex will have to live the rest of his life, knowing what he did. Right now life may seem exciting to him, having a little fling here and there, but at some point he will have to face up to reality. If he doesn't, one day he will stand before God and have some splainin to do.
I pray for you and your boys to have the strength to get through this tough time.
Daisygirl
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#9848 - 12/21/05 08:05 AM
Re: Whatever happened to integrity?
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Member
Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
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foundhervoice, I don't want to put any pressure on you but since you can see where this is heading, I strongly suggest you find a job that pays better ASAP. The hands-out from husband may disappear as he get s deeper involved with your friend. It might take months to get into court and by then you could be in serious financial trouble.
Take from me I am living the nightmare right now. He left over a year ago and I haven't received even one dime to help with all our bills. I know where he is working adn can pretty much guess how much he makes, but He has managed to delay court 4 times and now I am delayed until Feb.
Meantime, the mortgage company is plannign to foreclose on the house, and I am in debt up to my eyeballs trying to stay afloat....
Since you've got a glimpse of the 'real man' heed the signs and keep moving forward. Just my 'two cents' of advice..take it for what it's worth! Merry Christmas and may God Bless you with a double portion in 2006!
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#9850 - 12/22/05 08:23 AM
Re: Whatever happened to integrity?
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Member
Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
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Thanks foundhervoice. You're right we do have to stick together. Unless you are living or have lived through the nightmare of divorce you have no clue just how much emotional trauma each day brings. I understand what your lawyer is saying about work, but perhaps you could do some freelance work or work where you are paid as an independent contractor (in other words no taxes are taken out--you have to pay in April)
Also I would move your banking to a new bank. Just found out my husband has supeonea'd my bank records.....If I had known that I would have moved to a new bank.
Also last minute update. Now he is on a campaign to 'win me back'. Since last Friday I have been bombarded with text messages, phone calls, e-mail. Yesterday a huge poinsetts was delivered, last night when I got home from work there was a box from UPS, inside was several presents for me and my son. 6 mos. ago it was just sign this paper and we can end this divorce right away (I would have been crazy to sign--he got 1/2 and I got all debts!) He said it was taking too long and he watned to get on with his life. Now it's oh, honey, I love you I miss you....Yeah right.
He's either worried that he might not come out of divorce in good shape OR he is trying to get me off balance while he manuevers behind my back (like getting bank records) OR he's hoping I'll feel guilty and be 'nice' in court.
Why are men such slimeballs? I'll say it again, better to be single and happy and not be at risk than live in such craziness.
Anyway, Merry Christmas all. Foundhervoice, no matter how bad it gets, just remember, this too you will survive. It will get worse before it gets better, but oh, the joy that comes in the morning! And once survived, you will emerge stronger, more confidant, with more self-esteem and the ability to minister to others in a similar situation. You will be blessed!
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