Becouse of the chances of people meeting the majority of users are people generally more open than usule about their private life's?

I have read a lot of personal stuff in the bommer rooms (in between getting lost and never finding THAT intresting conversason pice again) I know its a time thing.

I dont know, dose the annominity (pheeew spelling) make it a lot easier for people to talk so to speak. Or do people still feel vulrible and insecure (human enough emotion's)after they shared something really personal to themself's.

I know all if not every responce i have read has been supportive (the wonder of women) Or dose it just feel diffrent becouse your typing and not speaken? Is it easier or harder couse your not looking into someone eye's or gessing as to how what your saying is being recived?

This may off been asked a thousand tmes but i was just wonderring what people's experience was.

So far i have type stuff (talked or so it feels) Thats been a bit more open than i would normally disclose, yea i am ok bout it all but i was just wonderring how everyone else feels, what your experience been like, If you dont mind?

celtic_flame

I imagine I wouldn't tell someone on the street about my winter coat (hairy legs)... but I told all of you. I think the more I get to "know" you all, the more open I feel about things.

However, you will not be hearing about my sexual fantasies, my strange dreams, my, ummm, well - nuff said!

I think I share with all of you the same things I would share with a good friend - but not my closest friend. Make sense?

Good question, Celtic_Flame!

Kathy

Oh, I'm always telling too much, and usually regret it. I tend to be an impulsive talker, like you Celtic flame. That's actually the good thing about spilling the beans here. Usually I check my post before pressing the post button. There have been many a post I never sent; although, it may have been much more interesting. (cringe).

But I have also got a lot of sympathetic posts in return, which I feel are genuinely sincere. I'm sure there is a certain appeal to being anonymous. But gee, now we know each others real names and even addresses through the Christmas card sending. That doesn't change anything for me though. The only thing I wouldn't want is that my x boyfriend finds me here and reads my posts. He'd probably just rub his hands together in glee when reading about some of my marriage problems, as trivial as they may seem.

What Kathy! We aren't your best friends! No, I know what you mean. Some things should not be posted in the internet. There's also a drawback with the written word, and that is if someone is being sarcastic or joking around, you sometimes can't tell. Oh yes…that's what those little smileys are for.

Great question Celtic flame! You're bubbly personality foams right through cyberspace at us. Love it!

On the issue of anonymity, I would like to think that a few had removed the barrier at some level as Hannelore mentioned. There have also been occasions when few members have met each other and that, I believe, result in friendships formed over a period of time. Is there a difference between the support given online or in person? Definitely. Not in the sincerity with which it is given but by practical application and expediency. There have been occasions when I have wished I could do much more for some of the friends I have met here. Much, much more than just offer support and encouragement online. But, one makes do with the limitations and gives support in spirit which is always from the heart. I appreciate that the forums are treated with the comfort and ease that one can come to it at anytime and discuss personal matters at any level. I think shared circumstances or being on the same wavelength, more than anonymity, makes it easier for anyone to discuss personal matters. To connect, support and encourage are the purposes of the forums. It lives up to that. And, I am sure many would echo that it is hoped no one is left feeling vulnerable or alone. Have I come away with regrets over any of my posts? If I think I have offended anyone, yes, I would definitely regret a post. Otherwise, I go by the saying: "Quod scripsi, scripsi" i.e. what has been written, is written.

Right ladies....careful here, you may encourage Celtic toooo much!!!!Hannelore ...foaming..ha!!! I have seen her froth(only when there is a full moon and she is in a pre-'I HAVE NO CHOCOLATE, rant). No Celtic pet...no one knows your bank details..... yet...nor your bra size.....but for a small fee ladies, p.m me and I'll let the cat out of the bag.(I am joking...promise)Celtic, if you check back on my posts from the time I joined....you will see a few of my cringe-worthy stuff Hannelore mentions. You did get me thinking about my own babble...and call me naive, but I usually get the feel that everyone is genuine. I think if I was being too overt, some of the other Ladies would guide me and put me straight.

Fair enough response Kathy .

Popea

I'm definitely one of those people who has poured my heart and guts out here. When I "stumbled" in here, I was beyond broken, desperately lonely, and heading somewhere dark that I've been before and didn't want to go again. Because of a bombardment of life circumstances, I had no friends to turn to, and finding BWS was absolutely, without a doubt, the answer to a desperate prayer from a very tender and loving God who knew I needed to be here.

I've probably told too much; I'm (literally) an open book here...yet, very few outside of here know me at all (unless they've read my book). But I share what's going on inside of me for two reasons...first, because I've been very lost and confused and unable to find my own way out and needed to find a safe place and safe people to help me make my journey out of that dark place; secondly, because there is immeasurable, priceless, incredibly gifted wisdom within these "cyber-halls". It's a risk, opening oneself up here, but for me it's been a risk that has brought unimaginable healing to my life, and a wealth of sister-friends who have made my life worth living again.

I wrote in my book about the people who loved me back to life. Well, my sisters here at BWS have loved me into being.

I should add that there is a third reason now for sharing here, and that's to "pay it forward". So many have taken the time to care and support me along my journey, that I want to do the same for others. We've spoken about "wounded healers" here before, how there is great power in the wisdom of those who have "been there, done that" and found meaning and life beyond the agony. I've been touched and healed by many wounded healers here; so when I'm able to contribute in such a way as to be a wounded healer for someone else, it's worth taking the risk of opening up.

I love this question. It is a thought I have had from time to time.

I am honest, but I don't devulge every single detail of my life. Sometimes there are things going on in my life that I want to share with everyone, sometimes just my friends. I would never fear sharing those types of stories here.

But, like Kathy, there are a few parts of me that only people that have known me forever would hear about. Not much, though.

And I know that I have written some strange things, hopefully not offensive though. Sometimes I just want to be with my friends and I start topics not worth starting, just so I can hang with the girls.

For me personally I have always been closed mouthed and protective of personal facts about me. Example: I frequented the same cocktail lounge in Illinois for nearly 10 yeras, my friends were there. I did business there, ate lunch there, even sang with the small group there. Get the idea? I was there more than anywhere and NONE of these people really knew anything about me. None knew I was married, had children, or even where I lived exactly. Yet we were all good friends and had a ball together.....Since finding my Boomer family, geesh, you ladies know me inside and out, husbands, religion, kids, animals, parents, and all that is in my heart and my head. I keep nothing secret from any of you. I feel quite comfortable talking my brains out in here and if I am unable to get in here at least once a day I feel like I'm missing you and something. I believe the thing that most surprises me, along with my new found candor is the way I feel about you ladies. I feel close to you all and protective and I get very angry when one of you are sad or someone hurts you, like I'd like to slap the s--t out of them. Does that make sense to you? Interesting and thoughful question Celtic....

If I am working away late and getting to bed about 2 am and I check in on the boomer just before bed, then I am probably half delirious, half hypnotised (editing vocals or mixing music) and got up from the computer thinking what ya just say that blethering rubbish for, but I will pretend I haven’t written it you pretend you haven’t read it if you will. Funny thing is it probably arrives to you ladies mid afternoon or something due to time difference. Bear this in mind it might explain a fair bit!

I have despaired at the length of the posting I have blethery fingers, my wee thought digits or extensions….. and I can’t stop them lol I am generally happy enough and unless I am obviously being serious then I am always trying to kid around, but have also reflected and hopped I haven’t hurt anyone. I have also wondered if the sense of humour does have such cultural differences as the comedians claim (usually the flops mind ya).

I have only been in here a short time and Po (the hat) was remembering with my how I was going no don’t put my e-mail address in and any photo yet etc etc….. then within days I am giving allsorts of thoughts about all sorts of things, just life eh! Thing is I feel comfortable enough in here and getting a feel for the place as a whole and some of the various characters and their different sides and I mean that in a good way…. From funny haha to sensitive and warm. ………..

Then I start imagining all sorts of other things like piecing together a whole mental image, of the person based on what I have read. I think that’s what we do in face to face relationships anyway.

What’s nice is their less emphasis on look’s and body image because all we have to visually judge is 1 photo and the written word…..in some ways a better world is made. Time to think before a response is handy too… ..but as hannalore said the delete button sometimes gets the better of us….

Popea tells me the hall monitors stop anything offensive or risky getting posted they just delete it. I thought they were just nice ladies that made sure you had turned off the computer after you went to bed lol. No if you do get deleted do you get an e-mail telling you, is their a hall monitor conference group, or support group if necessary lol

What do they do, are they the queens of the delete button?

(would they also consider spell checking, for the love of god or 50p a paragraph whatever means more to them lol)

Not that I want to start a trend to see how much you can get away with without getting deleted lol what was that about dreams and fantasies ………June , of the Rick and June duo, lol No seriously seriously, What were they…..

And Popea, Popea oh Popea, my bra size is fine and I have not got any money (hahaha ha ha) none that you know of and if everyone starts laughing at me and you get rich remember who cooks Sunday dinner round here, no Brussels for you my lass.

Hey Chatty, I'm watching your number! 8999! That could cause an accident on a car's mileage counter...we're all watching!

I just have to add another comment on this topic. That is, there are some very special ladies on this forum that set the tone. I don't want to name them all, too many, but without these ladies this place wouldn't have the heart it has. I don't go to any other forum, so I can't compare, but I can't imagine any other place that seems like 'home' over the internet like Dotsie's forum. It's just amazing. I'm so happy and thankful that I found this site.

Now dear Celtic Flame… as far as I know you aren't allowed to swear here…but with your gift of expression…you don't need those words anyhoooo. Have you tried other forums? Can you say what you want in those? Well, this is my first one…and I'm a loyal lass. Did I say lass? Is your lingo rubbing off on me?

Popea you don't have to eat brusselsprouts. I think It's time that food from the 15th century no longer be served. yuck.