Those type of men do their best to get their women to believe they are IT. My x was like that. He paid attention to any woman but me and said I had a problem if I complained. After we divorced, I was the woman he wanted and the "other woman" became the old shoe.

However, I never did blame the women he slobbered over, most were decent and not flirtatious.

Okay, maybe I'm out of line here...but I'll be honest. If a man would compliment me like that, and he's a good-looking guy, I'd feel flattered. I see no harm in giving or getting compliments. I also don't see any harm in flirting (to a certain extent). Maybe that's the European way. They all do that here. It's all harmless and it's only dangerous if you allow it to be.

Well my dear friend we finally disagree on something. I think any man who openly flirts, especially in front of his wife is a filthy slimeball. I feel the same about a women who does the same thing. To me any man that complimented or slobbered over me, when I was wearing a wedding ring was insulting me. He wasn't treating me like a lady, he was disrespecting me. Here we again see the double standard, (if he is a GOOD looking guy) what difference does that make? A pig is a pig no matter how cute he or she is. Damm, better get off this soap box, getting dizzy up here...Love you Hannelore, just disagree adamantly.

Oh goody, a debate!
As I said, this is the European way. There is flirting…and there is slimy flirting. I agree, Chatty. I don't like slimy blubbering flirting, but a suave, debonair flirt can lift the ego.

Gee, am I really alone on this here?

During the carnival season, everyone dances with everyone in Germany and not just their spouses. At restaurants, if you go out with a group of friends, couples don't usually sit next to each other, (the attitude is, we see each other all the time anyway)…
Men meet friends for sports and going to bars. Company parties are held without the spouses. Women go to theatres, join clubs and do sports together.

It all amounts to trust. In our 31 years of marriage, my husband and I have never been unfaithful. When he smiles at another woman, I smile at her too. I'm proud that my Hubby belongs to me. I don't have to lock him in or forbid him to joke and flirt with another women. I know he's loyal and always will be.

There's flirting and there's simply being nice to the opposite sex. There's a difference and it's in the intent.

My husband and I try to be nice to everyone, even the opposite sex. To us, this is not flirting. It's loving others, which doesn't lead to dating or sex. I think that when you treat others with goodness, they recognize it as such and don't take it the wrong way, especially if they know you are happily married. And if they don't, you would surely recognize it differently if the person starts coming on to you. Then you put a stop to it.

Hannelore, you're right. It's all about trust. And my husband and I have total trust in one another.

We always tease one another and say things like, "Boy would he/she like to get their hands on you." But we see that as a compliment for each another. And we also know neither of us are interested in seeking anything outside our marriage. We're too happy and comfortable.

I know married men who flirt, flat out flirt - and I can't stand that. It's so insulting to their wives. I really don't know any married women who flirt with men.

My x was even flirting with my 2 sisters. They told me he creeped them out. I had to tell him to keep his hands off my sisters.

Hannalore, your idea of flirting to me isn't flirting. It's only being friendly and kind and having a good time. Flirting is when a man falls all over himself to ask a woman to dance, when he hasn't asked his wife. It's when he tells that woman she's the best looking woman in the place - and announces the fact to the entire table of friends.

Daisy, your post made me think a little more about flirting. You're right. It's when they treat other women better than they treat their own wives. I despise that.

Oh I agree with Daisy. I guess it's how you define flirting. What your x did was plain rude and disrespectful towards you. Hope you kicked him in the shins, under the table.

That was my point. I agree wholeheartedly with Hannelore about just having fun. Thats great so long as one doesn't cross the line or their elective other isn't hurt by what they are doing. I finally asked a woman straight out what her problem was with me since I'm single and she said, "honestly?" I said, "let her rip." Never guess what she said, "you smile and laugh too much. You're carefree attitude is unnerving." Well upon further consideration she had to admit she'd never seen me flirt or do anything that could be deemed inappropriate. I listened to her comment however and have toned it down a good deal, and it seems to have worked, plus me telling several frisky husbands, my boyfriend is a cop, 250 pounds of solid muscle and is a 6'ft.4'in. sharpshooter.. ..Case closed, !

I think we all know the difference between a little flirting and the come on. This man was giving me the come on to let me know he was available. If he'd just said, nice car, I would have been fine with that.

To me, flirting with me when I'm wearing my wedding ring is an insult to my husband. Like I would stray to be with some creep who thought I wanted him because that's the only way he could feel good about himself.

My ex was always looking at other women. Nothing I said could make him stop. I knew the day would come when he carried it further and he did.