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#83019 - 07/18/06 01:35 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
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Cathi, I am holding your Dad and family in prayer. We love you too. luv chick
_________________________
chick ~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~ ~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~
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#83020 - 07/18/06 01:39 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: chickadee]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, we're going through much the same thing with my brother. I'm scared, but finding Presence and Consolation through prayer - I will hold your Dad and family alongside my brother in my heart-prayers.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83021 - 07/18/06 05:49 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Hi, Cathi: I join everyone in prayer for your Dad and for the rest of the family.
_________________________
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#83022 - 07/18/06 02:50 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Lola]
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Member
Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
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Cathi, I lost my mom to lung cancer last year. I understand your feelings completely. I will be praying for you. I am here if you ever need to vent/talk/cry....
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#83024 - 07/18/06 05:55 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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I will also pray for your dear father, Cathi. ((HUGS))
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#83026 - 07/18/06 06:14 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Bluebird]
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Member
Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
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I've got you and your Dad in my prayers today Cathi....I'm so sorry you all have to go through this...Keep the Faith...
_________________________
Nancy
People may not remember exactly what you said or what you did...but they will always remember how you made them feel
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#83028 - 07/19/06 02:09 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: AvalonBlondi]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Hi all,
Well, it is not good news. I heard it straight from my dad. I kept waiting for that phone call from my brother to find out how the surgery went. Well he finally called and told me that someone wants to talk to me, and it was my dad. Wow, he sounded great for just having an incision in his throat.
But as I said, the news is not good. It is stage 3B, and he going to need radiation and chemo. The hardest part now is not being there. I am worried about my mom right now.
Thanks all for your support. I always say, "as long as you are breathing, there is hope". I believe in miracles and it is going to take one to get through this.
I love you all alot!
Cheers, Cathi
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#83029 - 07/19/06 07:45 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Hi, Cathi: The prayers for you and your family are constant, as it is for Eagle Heart and her family. I join everyone in prayer for a miracle and nothing is impossible with God. I pray too for the virtue of patience in time of illness, spiritual strength and for the health carers who will be at the forefront of your Dad's and Eagle's brother's treatment.
_________________________
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#83030 - 07/19/06 11:56 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Lola]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, I'm still praying for you and your Dad (and family); this is a tough road, isn't it! Waiting is excruciating. But I have seen miracles before and fully expect to see more. I had a friend who was on death's doorstep from lung cancer...we had prayer circles in every corner of the world praying for her. She was given a few days to live - but one morning, she woke up and wanted breakfast. The doctors were astounded, and after hours of investigation could only claim it to be a miracle, they had no other explanation. She lived for many more years!
So yes, there IS hope. And yes, there IS a God who loves us so much more than we imagine. We don't always know what HIS version of the miracle will be, it's not always what we expect it to be, but I've learned to trust that He does know best.
Keeping you in my heart, prayers and thoughts throughout the coming journey...
PS to Lola - thank you!!!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83032 - 07/19/06 06:46 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Cathi, maybe a pastor or priest could visit your dad at the hospital...they can be very comforting to have around when you get hit with news like this. They can reassure him that whatever he's feeling is normal and to pray with him for strength and hope. ((HUGS))
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#83033 - 07/20/06 08:42 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Bluebird]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Thanks Ladies, I feel the presence of God for sure.
I am going to need it because there has been another bomb. Richard, my husband, called me at work and told me that his cardiologist told him he is going to need open heart surgery. He has a leakage in the mitral valve and it has always been mild, now it has gotten worse. I feel so bad for him because he was starting to feel better. A week from today, he is going to go in for catheterization, and depending on how bad it is, will determine when they will be able to operate.
In the meantime, on Tuesday, my dad sees an oncologist for consultation. Hopefully, then we will have a schedule for him. There is so much that I need to take care and I am just waiting and waiting. I hope I don't sound selfish here.
Thanks again, this means alot to me.
Cheers and Love, Cathi
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#83035 - 07/20/06 09:55 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Dear Cathi
Selfish? Not at all! We all experience the need to talk when we are overburdened with worries and need to express ourselves in time of sorrow and joy. I am humbled to be asked to pray for you and your family because in so doing you induce grace for us all. Such is the mystery of God's graces which transcends multiple folds. God bless you and your dear ones.
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#83036 - 07/20/06 10:34 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Lola]
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Cathi, you are not being selfish at all and it is a privilege for us to stand in agreement with you - that is how God wants it. ((HUGS))
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#83037 - 08/03/06 12:04 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Bluebird]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Hi all,
I am trying really hard not to disappear again. Well, Richard had his catheterization yesterday and now they can say, for sure, that his leakage is mild and he does not need open heart surgery. I am so relieved.
My dad had his first Chemotherapy today and it pains me not to be there. He called me afterwards and told me that he was feeling fine and he explained to me the procudure. He was there for 8 hours, poor guy. I don't know if I told you what they finally said. He now has been told that his cancer is stage 4. He is going to have chemotherapy once every 3 weeks.
I have an aunt who is an anethestist(SP) nurse at Duke University and she finally talked my dad into getting another opinion at Duke. He has an appointment on Aug 17. He has been going to Walter Reed.
In the meantime, and because of my bi-polar, I have been advised by my councelor to apply for disability. I am seeking a second opinion tomorrow. You see, at my work place, they will not give me a leave of absence because, they view this as "going to lend support". Well, I view this as "I don't want to be robbed of any time I have left with my dad". In the meantime, my dad is like don't do anything that will jeopardize your job. I feel so bad because my mom doesn't drive and my brother has been doing all the work. Eventually, he is going to need some relief.
Anyway, just thought I would give you an update and let you know that I feel your prayers. I am not sure if I am going to be able to post much for awhile, but I will try to. I know emphatically, that it has cheered me up to read the posts.
Love and Cheers, Cathi
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#83038 - 08/03/06 01:19 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, thanks for the update. I've been keeping you, your Dad and husband in my prayers every day (I especially thought of you while walking on the beautiful boardwalk along the St Lawrence River in Sept-Iles, Quebec at sunset). Your Dad's got a long journey ahead of him - as do you. I will continue to pray for strength, courage, time and healing for your Dad, husband - and you!
If I could be bold enough to speak my opinion, I'd agree with your counsellor - I wish with all my heart that I had taken time off from my job to "be there" for my Mom when she was battling cancer. You can always find another job, but you can never regain that lost time with your Dad...if your heart is leading you to be there for him (and your husband), then DO IT, and relish that time with your family...I can pretty much guarantee that you will NOT REGRET it - but if you don't take that leave of absence, you may well end up like me, regretting with great sadness not taking that precious time.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83039 - 08/03/06 06:13 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Hi, Cathi and Eagle: We continue to pray for your dear ones. I have only just heard news myself that my youngest sister's husband is suffering from pancreatic cancer and there is'nt anything more they can do for him medically. He is now in palliative care. Please include him in your prayers as well.
Is it not possible for work to grant an emergency/sympathy leave, Cathi? Do you have a contract of employment which may have provisions covering this? Also, if the situation is such that it is causing strain on your health, might it work to have a Dr's certificate and apply for sick leave? I pray that God helps in such a way where you can be able to attend to your Dad's need without compromise to your job in the process.
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#83040 - 08/03/06 02:47 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: AvalonBlondi]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Hi Cathi: I'm sorry your family is going through this. I'll be prying for your dad. Remember God is by your side. His presence brings peace and comfort.
Eagle, I'm also praying for your family. May each hurting heart find rest and strength int he arms of God.
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#83042 - 08/04/06 04:37 PM
Re: My Dad
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Cathi, I'm so relieved for you about your husband's health. God will lead you on what to do about your dad. Just remember, he's the only one you'll ever have...you can't say that about your job. (((HUGS)))
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#83043 - 08/05/06 07:16 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: AvalonBlondi]
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Member
Registered: 06/24/06
Posts: 384
Loc: California
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You and your Dad are in my prayer. My Dad passed away from lung cancer in July 2002 and I really miss him. We didn't have much time to prepare as he was diagnosed with stage 4 and died shortly after the diagnosis was made.
Please tell him you love him - I wish my brothers and sisters had had time to do that...
You are in our prayers
Donna
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#83045 - 08/09/06 12:13 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Thank you ladies. Dotsie is right, you would've never guessed Richard to be a heart patient. We were very shocked when he was first diagnosed. The Dr. said his arteries looked like a 20 year old. But the valve is the problem and the A-fibs.
I know this sounds lame, but I am still working on getting my disability. My dad took well to the chemotherapy the first few days. Yesterday he took a turn downhill and today my mom broke down. This lead to me having an anxiety attack today at work. So I called my therapist and he told me to go home and take the rest of the week off and go visit my parents. He'll document for me that I needed the time off to recover.
If I resign now, I will not get the disability, and I have that benefit and have been paying into the insurance. I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents. It shouldn't take long for me to get it.
For now, I probably will not be able to come online as much as before. But I will check periodically because you all mean so much to me.
I love you all alot!
Cheers, Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women! www.nabbw.com
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#83047 - 08/09/06 01:22 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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JawJaw, I sent you a reply. You are a sweetie! I need to rephrase something. Instead of saying: Quote:
"I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents."
I should've said something along the lines of it wouldn't hurt to have that extra money to help with the trips. It will be okay if I don't have the extra money.
My dad insisted I do not give up my job, I thought the disability would help ease his mind and not feel guilty or anything. My dad is the type of person, whenever something would happen, he always encouraged us to proceed as normal.
I just felt I needed to elaborate on this further. I should have been on disability anyway. My therapist recommended that to me a couple of years ago because of my bi-polar. But I didn't take heed to it then because, I just wanted to proceed as normal, just like my dad taught me.
I love you all alot!
Cheers, Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women! www.nabbw.com
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#83050 - 08/28/06 06:32 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, I'm on the run too, but you've been on my mind and in my heart-prayers throughout the past few weeks. I sat through my brother's first chemotherapy last week and carried your Dad in my heart the entire time. I'm holding both your Dad and my brother together in my daily (like, 24/7!) prayers. So you're not alone, ever! How I know that feeling of helplessness and dismay at the weakness and changes in your Dad's body. Just keep your chin up and your hope alive...one day, one step at a time is all we can do.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83053 - 08/28/06 07:36 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, in my earlier email I signed off by saying "keep your chin up"...I can't believe I said it, and my only defence is that my 5-yr-old granddaughter was at my elbow nagging me to get off the computer (I took a quick trip here while she was napping...turned out to be a very quick nap and trip!)
Anyway, I actually don't like that phrase "keep your chin up"...it tends to sound off-handed and impatient. But it just came out, when what I really wanted to do was encourage you to keep your faith and hope alive, because I know for certain that neither one of us are in this alone...Somebody is walking this road with us, even if the prayed-for healing doesn't come in the way or timeframe we wish it would. Even this has a purpose beyond our current comprehension.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83057 - 08/29/06 01:46 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: TVC15]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Thanks Meredith, as I said in Eagle's Thread, great idea about the mantra. Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I am so happy you survived this dreaded disease and I love you alot!
TVC15, I think you are so brave to come and tell me these details. It is so hard to get an idea of an outcome. One day all is well and next thing you know it, downhill again. Sort of like the cancer is teasing you. I watched my grandmother die of stomach and ovarian cancer. Although my dad is undergoing chemo, he is not going to get radiation treatment. The doctor said that it just might burn the lungs. At first my dad was told that he is stage 3b, then they said stage 4. This is why my aunt begged him to come to Duke because she didn't like this flip flop back and forth answers he was getting. He had to endure so many tests since, get this, November. It was finally in June that the word cancer was even mentioned. Then it was you have lung cancer, then you don't have cancer, then another test, and another. This hasn't set well with me either and I am glad my aunt took charge of that. My dad is a retired Army Sergeant and he takes pride in the Military. So he has been going to Walter Reed Army Hospital. He has good health insurance and he could go anywhere he wants but he chose Walter Reed.
On a side note about Walter Reed. My mom and dad said it is a very sad place to be now because our wounded war heros are there. They have never seen so many young people with missing arms and missling legs. It breaks my heart just thinking about this and picturing this in my mind.
Thanks again for your inputs they certainly help and I love you alot!
Cheers, Cathi
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#83060 - 08/31/06 05:43 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: TVC15]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Oh Cathi, this is INCREDIBLE news! Praise God! How many chemo cycles has he had so far? That's amazing that they've shrunk in such a short period of time...very hopeful news!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83063 - 10/01/06 12:19 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Hi Everyone,
I am sorry I haven't been here for awhile. I have been back and forth and back and forth, LOL.
Well, I took my parent's to NC at Duke Univ Hospital. The Dr. my dad saw is the Dr. who is doing research on lung cancer. After she reviewed my dad's records, she had informed us that Walter Reed is treating my dad exactly as she would be. That was very comforting to know.
Her prognosis was, that if my dad can tolerate the chemotherapy, he should be on his way to remission. She told us there is no cure, which we knew. But she said remission was a strong possibility.
Although he is not out of the woods yet, we are still optimistic.
I am leaving again for N. VA on Monday for ten days. His 4th round of chemotherapy is on the 4th.
Thanks so much for being here ladies, I love you all alot!
Cheers, Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women! www.nabbw.com
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#83065 - 10/02/06 12:47 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: chatty lady]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Hi Cathi: So glad to read the good news regarding your dad. The Lord is good to his children and he really cares for each one. I continue to pray for you and your family. Blessings!
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#83069 - 10/31/06 09:41 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Registered: 10/14/06
Posts: 180
Loc: Stars Hollow
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Life's transitions are so heart-wrenching! My mother was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease (talk about LONG good-byes) and I just lost my Dad last summer suddenly, after a fall.
Take advantage of the time your Dad has left - Perhaps sit down and think of all the things you've left unsaid and say them. And once you've done that...just HUG HIM!!! There is nothing like a Dad's hug. I have my father's flannel shirts and how much I wish to feel his warm hugs again, coming from within those shirts...
I'm sorry for what you are all going through, Cathi. It's a wonderful thing that he has the strength and desire to travel. No matter its length, life is SHORT...
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#83070 - 10/31/06 01:14 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: klmr13]
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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Cathi, I'm so sorry. I hope he gets to make his trip. You and your family will be in my prayers.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice. www.eadv.netBoomer Queen of Shoes
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#83071 - 10/31/06 01:22 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: klmr13]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Cathi, my heart aches with you. I know that the agony is and will continue to be breathtaking, but don't let that keep you from seizing every moment you can with your Dad. Grab onto the incredible gift you've been given to truly celebrate life with him. I didn't get that chance with my Dad (he died very suddenly). I pray that somehow you'll all be able to reach in underneath the grief and the agony of this long journey and recognize the hidden blessing you've all been given to seize this day with all the living you can squeeze into each moment.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#83074 - 10/31/06 04:24 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Dancing Dolphin]
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Cathi, I've been wondering how your dad was doing. Sorry the latest news wasn't good, but hope springs eternal. In the meantime, enjoy everything with him. ((HUGS))
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#83075 - 10/31/06 05:01 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Bluebird]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Thank you so much ladies. Knowing that you are all praying for him gives me great comfort and strength.
He seemed in good spirits when we left the other day. Of course, he bought a new computer and finally had it all hooked up. He is enjoying his new toy and I think this keeps him from sitting around all day and feeling like crap.
I think he is beginning to get the attitude of enjoying himself with the time he has left. (Sometimes I believe that is a factor in healing)
Kathy, he cannot make the trip sooner because of other tests that he has to go through soon. Unfortunately, he has to wait nearly two months for that. After that, he will have more time to be able to spend in Greece when he goes. Right now, the weather in Rhodes is damp and cold because it is an island. This would not be good for him because he has rheumatoid(SP) arthritis.
JJ, I had given my dad a book on Father's Day written by Tim Russett, the title is something like "letters to our fathers" I don't remember the exact title, shame on me. I had the opportunity to thank him for the many things he had done for us. I wanted to point out to him that I never remember him complaining about anything that had to do with working and taking us places, etc...
Okay, I need to get going and do some laundry. I am going back to work tomorrow because my FMLA time is up. It worked out well because my dad is well enough to take care of some of the minor things. Thank God my parents are close enough for me to be able to take a trip on weekends and holidays.
I love you all alot!
Cheers, Cathi
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#83076 - 11/01/06 08:36 PM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Dear Cathi: When words can't convey enough, please remember we're with you and share your sadness. I do pray your dad enjoys the time he has. It's great that he's looking forward to that trip to Greece, and that he's entertained with his computer, etc. I continue to pray for the Lord's guidance in this. May you be strengthened by his strength. I don't know if knowing ahead of time is worse than loosing them suddenly, but do enjoy him and share the love you have for each other. Good memories never die.
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#83077 - 11/02/06 07:06 AM
Re: My Dad
[Re: Songbird]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Dear Cathi: I am so sorry to read about the Dr's prognosis on your Dad's health. I shall continue to pray for your Dad.
_________________________
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#83079 - 11/07/06 02:29 PM
6 months, 10 years ago Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
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Dear Optimumsteps, Ten years ago, my sister-in-law's brother was given 6 months to live. Doctors' can be wrong. I've personally witnessed that on four different occasions. Prayer is a powerful tool; will keep your dad in prayer. Luv in the Lord,
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#83080 - 11/14/06 06:13 PM
6 months, 10 years ago Re: My Dad
[Re: jabber]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Cathi: Bonnie is right! Someone very close to my heart has lived around 8-9 years more than what the Dr. expected. This person has a solid faith in the Lord and lives with gratitude for each breath she takes. God still works miracles today. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. So, I pray your dad enjoys each today as a blessing from above.
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#83081 - 11/20/06 04:46 AM
6 months, 10 years ago Re: My Dad
[Re: Songbird]
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Member
Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
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Hi ladies, so sorry I hadn't responded in awhile. Bonnierose, I agree as well. Time will tell and just because a Dr. says, does not make it so. My grandmother had bladder cancer about 13 years ago. She had radiation treatment and she really got sick and delirious. I remember our family doctor came to see her and said, "I give her two months at the most." Well, 13 years later, she is still with us.
Please pray that my dad fully has Jesus Christ in his heart. He may have already, but he hasn't shared that with me, and he doesn't need to. It would be between him and The Lord. It just doesn't hurt to pray about it though.
Thanks so much dear ladies!
Cheers, Cathi
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#83082 - 11/20/06 12:48 PM
6 months, 10 years ago Re: My Dad
[Re: Wisdom&Life]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Cathi, that is the most important thing, after all... Jesus in his heart. I continue to lift him up in prayer. Have a great Thanksgiving!
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