I have many girlfriends 40-50 years old who are talented and beautiful but the men their age only want to date women in their late 20's or early 30's. It makes me sick.

I had a not so nice conversation with a man the other night who joined a group of us at dinner. I've met him before. He's in his late 40's, not bad looking but his ego walks through the door before his body does. Anyway, I don't know if he thought I wanted to date him or my girlfriend but he starts talking about how he only dates younger women. Well, puke. I couldn't help myself. I said, "What is it you see when you look in the mirror? It must be a 27 year old man since you'll only date women around that age but I doubt that they see a 27 year old when they look at you." Not very kind but geesh. Give me a break!

I'm tired of middle age women being devalued like an old shoe! Shallow Hal's...all of them!

Before I married in 2003 I went to a party with my daughter who was in her mid twenties. Men my age were flirting with her. Men in their thirties were flirting with me. We thought middle aged men need the ego prop of dating younger women, but couldn't figure out the younger guys flirting with an older woman.
smile

This will sound very crude but...a lot of younger men want to have sex with an older woman because we're known to be experienced!

When I owned my DQ, this young guy kept coming into my store asking me to go out with him. Okay, he was 18 years old!!!!! I asked him, "So, what are we gonna do, cruise around in your car? After all, we can't go have drinks because you're not legal."

He just smiled. I said, "Oh, I get it. You want a sexual experience with an older woman. Well, I don't need a sexual experience with a younger guy because I did that when I was young!"

So, I never saw him again and instead of feeling flattered, I was insulted!!!! Please, give me a break!

I think the old men who *insist* on dating younger women are really just into the appearance...they don't realize that, if fortune is smiling, beautiful young women grow into fantastic older women. And then what would they do???

It's really pathetic when these men hit on women half their age. They do it both for the shallowness ego trip -- "Oh lookie! lookie! I'm going out with a young really stupid insecure woman but BOY SHE LOOKS GREAT" and the macho caveman power control issue "Maybe if I get some immature insecure unintelligent woman she'll let me be the boss." The young women who get into these relationships are either looking for a daddy figure or the money. Ugh either way.

Shallow attracts shallow. They all deserve each other.

When I was younger and "old" guys would hit on me, I'd just look them straight in the eye and say "You're too old to keep up with me and I'd give you a heart attack." That usually got rid of them fast.

I have many girlfriends 40-50 years old who are talented and beautiful but the men their age only want to date women in their late 20's or early 30's. It makes me sick.

I'm tired of middle age women being devalued like an old shoe! Shallow Hal's...all of them

You really got this one backwars Dianne. (yes i know you fond a guy who says he only dates younger women. but hes the exception) As a rule older men do not date period. Not youger woen, not olderones. They are heartily sick of the abuse that they cop during even the most casual dates.

Young women do occasionally pursue these older men for several crazy reasons which is why these relationships usually end in tears. Some see money not realising that the first wife has taken him to the cleaners already. Quite a few can't stand the ideathat this guy isn't interested in kids. This lack of interest can be a real ego bruise for a young female adn many actually chase these men because they simply can't abide the idea of a man who isn't interested in them.

As far as shallow goes welll ............................
This is what shallow is really about.

"I go on this great first date and we decide to share a cab home - separate stops. When we get in, he buckles his seatbelt! I know that's a wise thing to do, so I feel like a jerk saying this, but it totally turned me off. It just seemed so kid-like and lame. Is he too much of a weenie for me, or am I out of my mind?" wrote Unrestrained Lady, Upper West Side.
To the uninitiated, Unrestrained Lady may seem like a neurotic aberration. But ditching men because they fail to measure up in some infinitesimal way has been common place among daters and among womens talk for years. We all know women who won't go out with men who don't drive “prestige” cars or didn't go to a "prestige" school. Or the woman who instantly went off a man she had been crazy for because he turned up at her front door wearing a plaited belt. In the days before e-tags, another felt her stomach turn when her date fumbled with the bridge toll. These are usually not just excuses to jettison an unsatisfactory male, but genuine reasons for spontaneous revulsion.

Just watched The Human Stain last night. Although I'm a big fan of Philip Roth, I could not make my way through the book because it was too wordy and pompous, but I did thoroughly enjoy the movie. However, the notion of a 70 -year-old man with a 34-year-old woman was ridiculous! I completely agree that watching middle-aged men lech after younger girls is disgusting.

However, I also believe that love and emotional connectedness can transcend age barriers. So I don't think that we can generalize by saying that it's always a bad thing for an older man to go after younger women are an older women to look for a younger guy. Sometimes two people meet and they just click. Why shouldn't Romantic love be like any other relationship?

I'm 52. My oldest friend will be turning 103 in October (!@!) My youngest friend is about seven. I have friends in their twenties, thirties and forties with whom I am very intimate and close. I also have friends in their sixties and seventies. The dynamics are different for romance but I think that it's possible for people of different age groups to connect. Having said that, I do basically agree that relationship is much more likely to work out when people are somewhere around the same age.

Sigrid

Sparticuss,
I'm not sure how I feel about a male on these boards. In fact it makes me a little uncomfortable. However, you you seem well intentioned and you make some interesting points. I guess another point of view could be a good thing???

I too am offended by "male bashing" which also seems to disturb you. Some of the posts border on that.

However, male bashing may be just the female equivalent of the "female bashing" of a few years ago and even today in many social circles. So if you are to condemn us for blaming the males in our lives for our various problems, you should also condemn men for doing the same, because they do.

I am personally offended when any human is condemned for being a member of some class or group that they are born into and have no control over. It smacks of discrimination and discrimination hurts.
smile

Dear Sparticuss

It is my understanding that the male is misrepresented in society... or is he? How is that? The truth of the male lies within history's pages. His governing of nations, his understanding of social credos, his respect for family and ultimately his connection to the inner man, the indwelling place of wisdom, truth, justice, honour, decency, leadership and awareness of truth.

Based on the above qualities...which I also ascribe to women...do you feel that today's dating scene subscribes to these qualities...or is social commentary and what one calls dating...rather thin on the surface because many of these qualities are lacking....a) on a date, b) within families c) within business d) within politics..... which develop our values.

I would say that the state of this world...perfectly reflects the state of the male mind whose actions are dominated by society's fashion and business credo's, as well as a dominant structured society geared toward Sun Tzu's 'Art of War' principles which are predominantly based on fear...to overtake, to wage war, to dominate.....

To try to overcome another or take advantage of another requires that ONE has fear if one needs to overcome another or manipulate another. It is my estimation that it is fear that drives the dating scene...so how can there be a good outcome...period... without first the inward search as to who and what we are...ie what wisdom do we contain, how much fear is on us and do we project inward fears onto others!

Self-reflection, I believe is a must before one even considers dating! What one ends up with is generally just a reflection of inner angst or inner beauty!

By the way...my book SUNBLOOD: I Lived To Tell the Story has a beautiful understanding of the lost and most beautiful qualities of the male... qualities that cannot survive in a society that does not honour truth, justice, and beauty but lives with spin and lobbyists who decry the very values our societies were built upon in the first place. If you really want a conversation about life and the female angst try reading the book!

I also suggest this for females as well so that they can get a better understanding of the lost qualities within the male, a greater understanding of beauty, for when beauty of the male is understood those qualities may be allowed to be renewed within a society that fears true beauty and inner strength, for society sees beauty's reflection as a mirror that threatens their inner angst, an angst which is much easier to live with...considering complaining and crap are easier dealt with than inspiration to move toward a path of greatness, a path of beauty and of truth and of honour and of justice within one's own actions and beauty! To ultimately face the darkness and fear within oneself!

By the way I'm not a feminist, never have been, although I have no judgement toward feminism..I have always felt that when you take a side you are thus stating that you have an enemy...which denotes one has loss. Loss only comes from within which perpetuates event outside of oneself. What we envision we experience.

What do we want to experience..that is the real question and the journey!

With care
Leigha

Let us hope old Sparticuss is gone for good but if you return, OLD Boy: Bite me!

Leigha, and Dianne, he can still read our posts, but he can't post.

Leigha, your words about taking sides and having an enemy spoke to me. Thank you for that reminder.

Dear Dotsie

It is always a challenge to remember when our emotions or feelings rise to the surface, whether due to injustice or self fear. To remember that loss doesn't exist, it is only created through our perceptions, is a constant challenge, more so on some days than others as we all grow into the beauty within.

I am challenged by it myself and have to keep a full reign on the mind's workings within which can sometimes be a full-time job.

Staying in awareness and not getting sucked into the energy around you can sometimes be difficult or being faced with a deja vu experience, or just something that reassociates with something negative from the past, a memory, a smell, a song...anything that sets off loss.

That's all it really is, as we are all givers and receivers of energy. Simple to understand but it can be a full time job staying aware!

It took me years to get to the place I am now...where foregiveness and understanding become stronger than the pain of loss and it was worth every moment, getting to this place, untangling myself from past hurts and fears and loss.

How the beauty lives when the mind is clear and joy wells up effortlessly...that is the greatest gift of life...the joy in understanding.

Have a lovely weekend Dotsie!
With love Leigha

It's a known fact that males are less evolved than females. I say we dump 'em. Save a few for the zoos, some of them are cute, but heck-we have the technology, let's rebuild em! Men are only excited by visual stimulation. We left them in the caves. Women, on the other hand can be stimulated by all their senses. Bif

Dianne, I was trying to figure out a way to say younger guys like dating older women because our 'experience'. I know when i first married, I was 21 and married an older man of 35,(thats 15 yrs) I married him because he was older and I thought he would take care of me, wish I had waited til I finished school got a career and knew where I was mentally. Now almost 40, or as a friend of mine says "that number" I wish i had done more before I got married. But at least now I know what I want in a man when i am ready to marry again if I marry again. Now to try and get rid of the first man, I have been seperated 3 yrs but dont have the money to legally divorce nor will the legal aide people help. Oh well, sorry this wasnt exactally what this topic was about.

Deb

Dianne,

I don't what the age difference is that determines an older man and a younger woman status. When I married the first time, it was to a guy my age. It was like having a child to raise.

The next 2 relationships I had were with men 14-15 years older than me. Although not perfect, it was much more satisfying on a psychological and emotional level.

When I married the second time when I was 37, it was also to a man 15 years older than I. We are intellectually and psychologically compatible. He is my absolute best friend. We have been married almost 19 years. We work together out of our home. So we have been together 7 days a week, 24 hours a day for nearly the entire 19 years, and it has been the best relationship I have ever had.

I do think that women are generally more emotionally mature than men regardless of the age difference,and I found that an older man tended to narrow that gap in the relationships I have had. I may have pissed off some older women at the time, but it wasn't my intent.

It may be that as men get older (60s and 70s), they finally wise up enough to have relationships with women their own age. But I remember my girlfriends in my 20s and 30s were always complaining about how immature and childish their same-age husbands/boyfriends were.

Leigha,
I'm curious why you say that you're not a feminist, when most if not all of what you've expressed I've also read in published articles of self-avowed feminists? Is the label troubling? The connotation?

Debi, remember that you are still responsible for some of his debt, even if you are not living together. Like IRS!

Dianne, even if i didnt contribute to them? he racked up a bank over draft during a ime i was not working???

just cuz i was using it to take care of the house and him. Now my prob is finding the money to start my biz and no one will help that i have found yet because i did not save what money i did have incase.

Debi

My firstmarriage was to my highschoole sweetheart three years older than I and he was so beneath me mentally, like a child. Unfortunately he passed away very young. After several years I married a man 22 years my senior and the marriage lasted 14 years and was very successful except that he drank heavely and he and my eldest son, his step-son hated one another. I divorced him because he was violent with my son at times. But foir me the marriage was good. I liked the age difference, I was always his baby, his young bride and that was great plus he was established business wise and I had a beautiful home and life. I sometimes think he drank so much because the age difference bothered "him" and made him nervous....By the way you can hire a good Paralegal to get you your divorce for a small portion of what an attorney charges. I did that with number 3. Instead of several thousands of dollars I paid a mere $450. and am just as divorced...

I'm 4 months older than my husband. We married when we were 26. He was immature then, and he's immature now. Some days I feel like I'm living with a toddler with beard stubble. I'm sure he'll still be immature at 80.

Debi, not sure how deep it goes. My SIL was seperated from her husband for 15 years and hadn't filed for a divorce until she found out she could be responsible for his IRS debt. If your name was on anything he put debt on, it may come back to haunt you. My ex rarely paid taxes and I wasn't working and I was still responsible for half when I divorced him. A few times, the IRS wiped out my checking account! The government believes that if you were with him when he ran up the debt of any kind, you benefited from it and have to pay your share. Nice, huh?

Meredith, I'm beginning to think most men are immature in one way or the other.

DJ, that was a good question re: the definition of feminist. In my limited understanding, a feminist can be defined as anyone, male or female, who wants equal rights for women. Amen to that! LLL

Dannye,

Pretty much the same for me. 1st husband was a year older physically and about a decade behind emotionally/psychologically. It was not fun.

My husband is 13 years older than me, and many who did not see what we saw about each other, make comments about the age difference, but if he would have been in any another package older/younger, I believe that I would still have the same feelings for him.

I am very grateful that I was able to look beyond the packaging to the real treasure of a guy my husband is and closed my ears to the comments that were made - by those who had various issues with my husband remarrying in the first place - and choose happiness over all.

It is interesting when you study noted psychologists and behaviorists that the majority indicate that younger men have an invinsible, aggressive, take charge, goal-focused attitude (high testosterone-based) while older men are more nurturing and sensitive in their behavior. The opposite is supposedly true of women, younger women are considered more nurturing and sensitive while older women are more confident, driven and goal-oriented - supposedly this relates to the younger woman's role of being the primary caregiver of children, and the older woman's ability to focus on goals/dreams that were put to the side during child-rearing years. The correlation that is striked and theorized is that younger women and older men are more alike and younger men and older women are more alike.

However, this is just another psychological theory, which has so many variables (environment, personality, life lived to date, emotional maturity of adult, individual hormones/body chemistries, etc.) that it would be impossible to get a full concensus across any of those variables.

Debi - the laws re: debt in a marriage vary from state to state depending on if you are a resident of a community property state or not. (i.e. Texas is a community property) The responsibility of the debt also depends on whether or not the state you are a resident in has separation laws or not. (i.e. Texas does not - you are either married or not). I know in Texas that the divorce order has to separate who has what tax liability for the current year/previous years.

Being an "equitable distribution" state versus a community property state has significant impact on who has what responsibility or right to both debt and property/marital assets.

A downside to having a paralegal do your forms is that you still have to go before the court yourself and handle all matters pro se, so unless you are familiar with the process, enjoy the stress that comes with that - then it is more feasible to shop around for a jr. family law attorney who can show up in court for you handling your divorce on a flat fee basis rather than by the hour.

Debi, re: the bank overdraft. Because you were using that for living expenses for yourself and your husband at a time in which you were not working, there is not an attorney for your husband that would not try to get at LEAST 50% of that debt written in a decree as your obligation. The only exception to this is if you were in an "At Fault" divorce-based state compared to a "No Fault" divorce-based state...and if say your husband had an affair which led to the divorce, etc. you have more potential of getting a full settlement in your favor. However, even that is getting more difficult these days as, affairs and even bigatry are so commonplace that they are often whitewashed by the legal system.

Dallas gal I'm studying to be a paralegal , might as learn how to fill out the forms some time ,,lol . I'll have to figure out something soon. But first i need to get a job before any attorny will touch me , and leagle aide wont help , alredy asked, so the next step is pro bono. Thanks everyone.

I am putting together flyers advertizing moms helpers or gypsy secreitary, party planner. housekeeper . Voc, rehab are dragging their feet helping, as usual ,planning on maybe taking more computer courses , the place is just down the street. Improve skll = improve chances.

Again thanks all,

Hell DJ

I don't believe in labels because they create division. I would stand up for equal rights for a man just as soon as I'd stand up for equal rights for a woman.

When I wrote Sunblood it was a testament to the love for a man and his loss based on a society that has tempered the true power of a man...systems reigning in the good man can do because of self interests. It is also about the betrayal of a woman...and her journey to understand why the world is the way it is and is so full of corruption..a journey that was needed to heal a dying body and a broken heart.

Love encompasses all DJ...it has no label.

When you label something you have slotted it into a box and therefore have taken away its potential power for expansion ie power being - just being able to bring more good to situations. Labels can easily be denigrated and do not necessarily define the whole of who you are or your values.

Standing up for truth and what's right doesn't need a name, it is what it is whoever you are and whatever demographic you exist within.

Real power exists within, not within a name or a label...real power has an expansiveness that cannot be tampered with or destroyed or spun by groups seeking to take away the supposed power of other groups, ie politics.

Spin doctoring is used to destroy and if you have a label that stands for something, it is alway denigrated by some self-interest group.

In a way, you become branded. True understanding of who you are avoids the brand in order to become fuller within honour, integrity, courage, valour, beauty and love. How can one brand this!
And why!

Although you see what I have written may contain information that feminists write...truth is just truth....the freedom of expression within the integrity of truth is just that! It has no label.

Have a lovely day DJ....if you want any further answers just ask....

With care
Leigha

With care
Leigha

I have run across two types of women who call themselves feminists. One is gung-ho for women because she hates men and wants to prove that women are better. The other simply wants to be treated like a human being with equal rights to succeed or screw-up with equal consequences.

If I had to "label" myself, I would run with the second pack. I know there are inherent differences between men and women just as there are differences between any two individuals. I just would like it if the differences weren't used to create separation. That's what we do with gender, race, and creed. Somebody's always wants to be inherently better than the next person.

We talk about men as a whole not maturing emotionally as early as women. I don't see that as a fault. I just think it is part of the inherent differences between men and women. Women have always needed to be stronger emotionally because of their physical and societal roles as the caregiver or mother. It is true that for women who were born into a time when the societal roles are changing and being a mother is not the extent of our available aspirations, the relative emotional immaturity of men can present a problem for some of us.

Of course, like it is with every thing, not all men are emotionally immature and not all women are emotionally mature. Nothing is or ever will be absolute. My nephew's wife is about as maturity challenged as they come, and the years have not made a difference. He is, too; Consequently, they drive each other crazy.

I think the biggest thing that drives women crazy is the tendency for men not to be able to talk about their feelings. When they've been taught to squash their feelings all their lives, it's difficult to give voice to them. I made up my mind when I married this time that I would never push my feelings down. I would talk about them because I knew that NOT talking about them would eventually damage my feelings for my husband. Over the years, he has become very open with me and others about his feelings. He does say, however, that when he is with a group of men, they run if he starts a conversation that requires them to talk about how they feel!

A year ago I got a divorce through The Divorce Center in Vineland, NJ. I had to do a lot of the work, but it cost me under $400. You can get a divorce kit on the internet. The main thing you have to do is get a lot of papers notorized, which is free at most banks. Of course, this was an uncontested divorce with one minor child. I did not ask for any child support or alimony--just the house for myself and my child. What a relief it is to be free of a relationship that was over more than ten years ago. I thought I hung in there for the kids, but I should have ended it long ago. Don't be a doormat like I was for years. Hopefully, you can find the help you need.

Hi linlin, welcome! Thanks for sharing your story. How's life treating you these days. You sound relieved.

I hope you'll go to the welcome forum and tell us more about yourself.

Leigha, I believe your words. I just have a hard time living by them. That's why I yearn to draw nearer to God every day. A daily prayer of mine is for Him to align my will with His. When this happens, I live as you suggest.

Dannye, I agree. We can't make generalizations. Your words gave me the idea to begin a "men and emotions" post.

Dear Dotsie

We all have a hard time living by them Dotsie...because of our attention. There are so many factors that grab our attention away from the truth and the love within... old memories, circumstances..the emotional drama around us...etc.

Our only real challenge is to remember...to keep going within...to the love and the peace, and to forgive ouselves when we forget.

It is a moment by moment excercise...the remembering of where to put one's intention. Remembering....the love within, the heart and the soul of God, and his forgiveness in each and every moment that we forget.

I have found the way to remember and where to focus my attention is by putting reminder notes in places that catch my attention, inspirational sayings that take me out of old emotional memories that might have a tendency to pop up.

One of the greatest tools we have is our attention...retraining our attention so that it is geared toward the direction we wish to move toward.

The moment we put our attention on something, especially something negative, we experience what is outside of us instead of what is inside of us.. (the peace)and this causes a great deal of confusion within. Then we have to sort out what's going on within and without, sort of get ourselves sorted out all over again.

You have great strength and love Dotsie...but that strength which you use toward the good is also the energy that has a trouble forgiving the self...because you are so strong within and will brook no negatives to do with yourself....but the strength needs gentleness for the self..forgiveness for the self, to see the love and beauty that is your very essence.

Your beauty is learning to understand this...your get up and go and get it done nature, the energy that achieves...(achievement is very strong and a beautiful attribute...and it will always serve you well...something of the warrior within but tempered with great love for forward movement) drives you. I recognize this because I have experienced it myself.

Self love...which can be the hardest love of all to give oneself...is also one of the greatest loves for within loving the self...there is so much more to give to the love itself, to God within and to others and their beauty.

We have been taught for centuries to love others and to love God but not ourselves.

The truth is the love itself...forever being aware... and all we have to do is remember each moment, the truth of how beautiful we all are.

Daily prayer is beautiful and wondrous...did you know that every perception that we have is a prayer....there is great power in that knowing...it is a knowing that where one puts one's attention , on the love and the god force gives the ability to change aspects of our lives and gives power to bless others.

There is also great power in knowing that the feeling behind the perception also has great power for it is pure energy that creates...or destroys depending on the perception....

By the renewing of the mind....that is where the power lies.....the understanding of the power of the mind, the heart, the emotions and the love.

What a beautiful journey...to understand and to remember...who we all are...the love...the beauty and the truth of a wondrous power...God himself...the joy, the health and the blessings...

And so it is....in the remembering...

With love

Leigha

Leigha, thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. A special thanks for the reminder of forgiveness. That's something I need to hear. I am hard on myself. Each morning I sit with my journal and seek forgiveness for the same things day after day. What is my problem? I see growth, but in certain areas it is s l o w moving.

You mention self love. This is something I always go back to when considering all the hate/violence in the world. God says to love your neighbor as yourself. We need to love ourselves first. Therein lies the problem.

Dear Dotsie

Generally speaking, when growth is slow in coming regarding certain areas it is due to a block in the psyche at an energetic level.

Sometimes it takes time for the psyche to let go of past memories or conflicts. The mind is just like a computer if you look at that as an analogy. The computer was designed from man's mind relative to the understanding of how man's mind works.

In essence the mind is the hard drive and is constantly uploading files based on our perceptions and our sensory data.

Old files, memories or conflicts that stayed in our memory generally come up for review, in essence we are getting the chance to remove these old files.

When we begin to understand conflicts at an energetic level as pure energy we can then understand that the energy that keeps us in particular conflict...(ie having to keep revisiting certain areas within our life in order to clear that energy of the conflict, ...the two go hand in hand...ie thought is energy, emotions are energy, so you are dealing with an atomic matrix of energy,) can be healed or let go once revelation comes concerning the conflict.

Knowledge in itself can help heal conflicts or at least stop us from creating more within our psyche and emotions.

What many in the world don't understand is that they are affected very deeply by energy...not just thoughts and emotions but the energy of the thoughts and emotions which contain electric and electromagnetic energy which becomes twisted or moves into a negative matrix depending on the thoughts or unexpected shocks one receives.

So in dealing with our own psyche's and past conflicts or memories, or certain areas we have to be patient with ourselves.. Why? The mystery of the healing power of God within reveals only in the moments, the revelations that we are ready for to deal with past conflicts, or emotional pain or certain areas we are currently dealing with...

That is why self-forgiveness is so important...in forgiving ourselves we can release any form of self blame that keeps the conflict alive at the psyche and energetic level. Self-blame nails the conflict and keeps it alive. Self-blame usually lives at a deeper level, an unconscious level and that is why we get conflicted to begin with because we associate what is outside of us as ourselves having created it...when in fact we are just repositories of others energies and thus then create our own negative mind frames and create anew new conflicts...its a round robin effect.

Remember we are electromagnetic beings in our ability to draw energy or events, the two interchangeable, toward us. Our thoughts, our emotions, and our feelings are all constructed of electric and electromagnetic energy. The moment your attention moves toward a certain area or past conflict or circumstance, you become immersed in the old energy and have to deal with it all over again...

I have found that deliberately moving my attention to beauty, love, peace, gentleness and the beauty that I wish to live helps in keeping me out of the old energy and in time...the revelation that is needed to heal an old emotional wound or a certain area in one's life will be revealed and at the point of that revelation we have the opportunity to let the old pain go.

The energy will leave through that AHA! MOMENT! We just have to make sure that we don't revisit the old energy through deliberatly deliberating on the old moment again until that AHA MOMENT! has become embedded in our consciousness.

To be free of pain only requires that we accept the past as it was...for in that acceptance we have let go of the conflicted energy within us. In order to accept the past as it was also requires the knowledge that the reason for the events or circumstances we lived will be revealed to us in such a way that the energy of the past will leave with our understanding.

You also have to understand that as a human being we are also dealing with many energies simultaneously...a) the energy of the spirit within us...b) the energy of the mind, which has many layers and different vibrations of energy...c) the energy of the emotions, that energy heavier as it is ruled by the water element...d) the energy of the mass, the physical body we live in...

Strangely enough on a different note we have all been taught through bible teachings that it is the body that sins, or the body that gets sick when in fact it is the psyche and its conflicts or emotional conflicts, that energy that acts upon the body that causes imbalance and sickness within the physical being.

We are also dealing with e) all the energies within our environment and other people at the same time. We deserve to forgive ourselves and to be patient with ourselves when we actually understand how complicated we all are and how beautifully made.

In understanding how we function at the energetic and spiritual level we will get a better handle on how to maintain and create the future we want...whether it be relationships, success, health or whatever you can dream for yourself and others.

In also understanding that we are spiritual beings and understanding that spiritual energy and mental energy can be understood through physics, ie a mechanical understanding of energy we can thus move forward even faster in our understanding of the wholeness of the human experience.

This answer is for you Dotsie and all the lovely ladies on the site but I want to also say that I am not a doctor for those who don't know me and may be reading these posts...this information was derived from 16 years of study and the teachings concerning chinese medicine, Dr. Hamer's medicine and my own work with regard to bringing together many spiritual teachings, physics and my own spiritual interaction with life. I don't want anyone to become confused or think that I have qualifications to teach...with regard to University studies etc.

Also Dotsie with regard to seeking forgiveness for the same things each day...it takes time to understand why we are dealing with what we are dealing with....just love yourself and understand that what you need to know will be revealed to your in the moments...Love is the greatest healer especially when we direct it towards ourselves.

Take time to appreciate you! You deserve it a hundredfold!

With love
Leigha

Leigha, your words always speak to my heart, mind, spirit, and work miracles within me. I thank you dear friend.

Dear Dianne

Lovely Dianne...you are a blessing to my soul...your words touch my heart ... and I am deeply touched by your heart and friendship!

Your friend
Leigha