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#219535 - 10/03/13 06:49 PM Re: Havng "The Talk" About Final Arrangements [Re: Ellemm]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Cute, Ellemm! About being mean, I mean.

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#219537 - 10/04/13 03:27 AM Re: Havng "The Talk" About Final Arrangements [Re: Ellemm]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Originally Posted By: Ellemm
Well, you need a will and an executor to make sure wishes are carried out. And the executor needs to be someone who will not be swayed by threats or sob stories. For all of us, if we simply express our wishes and our documents aren't legal or treated as though they are, it's just talk.

Unfortunate but true. Also unfortunate but true is that deaths often bring out the worst in people, who decide they will get even for an old grudge or take possessions because they think they deserve them. People might think their own families will be exempt from this shabby behavior, but no.

I would be a good executor because I am really mean!


Very true by just having a party and not making your comments/wishes legal doesn't mean much for...yourself after long gone.

I'm trying to imagine such a party...yet if one made decisions already and announced them, it might cast a strange pall. Seriously. That's my interpretation. Maybe I'm too serious about this.

I don't I would have a big party or stuff. Just a lovely dinner for the executor(s). If possible maybe have 2 executors, each person designated with a specific role. Just an idea.
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#219545 - 10/05/13 02:22 PM Re: Havng "The Talk" About Final Arrangements [Re: orchid]
Ellemm Offline


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
Oh, I don't think I'd have a party, either. But I would and have made sure that the affected people know where the will is and who is to execute it. This is no time for pretending that people who have been nothing but trouble during your life will suddenly 'come to' and start acting like sane adults.

My husband and I made up our wills long ago from a defensive posture. Nearly all of our relatives are so crazy that we wanted to make the sure one sane one would get custody of our kids if something happened. (Fortunately this is all moot now, but it sure worried me back then).

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#219546 - 10/05/13 07:25 PM Re: Havng "The Talk" About Final Arrangements [Re: Ellemm]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
I know what you mean about making a will to determine who would get custody of your children, Ellemm.

Steve and I did that as soon as my first husband died, so there would be no wrangling on that topic, should we die. Having seen how impossibly hard it was for my kids (then grade school age) to handle their birth father's death, we wanted to make sure there was a clear "chain of custody," so to speak.

But those kids are in their mid 30s now, so I think it is time for me and Steve to get those wills amended.

Keep putting it off, however.
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