IMO rudeness indicates bad upbringing!

If you want to see someone who is not comfortable in their own skin, who is immature, needy, and the list goes on, watch how they treat a waitress, cashier, or any other member of a service occupation. It will tell you a lot about a person.

You never know what demons someone else is fighting inside. I have two words I use for myself whenever someone is ugly to me...they are: BE KIND.

"Be Kind" - are the two words I use a lot with our grandson. 2-1/2 years old, but can be quite aggressive at times. Instead of constantly saying "No" or "Don't", I say "Be Kind", and he immediately stops whatever he's doing (usually to his big sister). Those words seem to have a distinct impact on him. I wouldn't hesitate to use them on an adult.

It's true, JJ, so many people are struggling with their own fears, insecurities, situations, losses, angers...it leaks out through a myriad of behaviours, including rudeness.

Bad upbringing would account for rudeness if someone never mixed but once a child attends school and interacts they have the chance to absorb and socialise and the wider world of manners opens up .bad upbringing is maybe a reason but not an excuse once a person knows better

Eagle, how wise to turn it into a positive by saying be kind.

I like to smile at people who are rude. It throws them off a bit. Who knows, maybe not many people have smiled at them in their lives.

I agree that smiling at a rude person could pull the rug from under them. But, I have to admit, when in that situation, the last thing I can do is smile. I think my face would crack.

I used to cower if someone was rude. I was often so taken a back, I just didn't know what to say. But over the years, I have developed a protective shield around me. If I don't like something, I let that person know...not to discipline his/her bad mouth; but to make me feel good.

I like that, "Be kind." Great response!
But sometimes you have to be super human to do that!

Anne
seems to me that having your expertise with your clients is so admirable.
Some people do have faces that scowl but maybe inside they are just thinking.There are also folks who beam a smile most of the time..wise not to appear too happy if someone could misinterpate
it,

Yesterday I was on the phone trying to process two medical referrals with our family doctor's office. The "on hold" time was about 1/2 an hour and when the referral-person answered, she asked me to wait an additional 10 minutes.

I was annoyed but when she came back to take the necessary information for the referrals, I still did my utmost to provide the correct information and correct spellings of names, etc.

All of a sudden she launched into a tirade: "Do you think I am stupid? Do you think I cannot spell? I'll have you know I graduated first grade so you can quit with the simpleton attitude...yadda yadda yadda."

I apologized if I sounded annoyed in any way and asked if we could start over. She continued to demean me, but I hung in there to get the referral process started.

This morning I spoke to the office manager, who said the woman indeed was not herself lately. After we spoke a bit and I identified myself as a nurse, the manager admitted that the woman I had spoken to had breast cancer, and that she learned recently that it had spread. What a terrible situation! (I have faced multiple stereotactic biopsies and am now being closely followed up for a localized breast situation)

So I expressed complete support for the woman and am praying that God will forgive me for every mean thing I thought about that "referral-rep" yesterday following our phone conversation.

Sometimes when people are really rude to us, it might be because they are carrying a cross which has become, at least temporarily, too heavy to bear.

Yes, there are naturally creepy people out there, and they deserve to hear about it in my opinion, but there are others who are just trying to get through the day because of their own personal pain or misfortune.

Yesterday, I got a dose of the latter. Thank God I took the high road with her. (At least I hope I did)