Hope that something gets worked out, Kate so that you have something of sentimental value that you would like to keep.

Does any sort of positive relationship exist between your daughter and your mother? If there was, then grandmother would very naturally and willingly give something that the child may want. Which is what happened when my partner's mother was still alive. It's actually nice when that happens.

YOu never know..

My daughter would not be able to get around my Mom. She is timid around her as my Mom can be very overbearing. She can be prickly. At times she is giving but usually there are strings attached. She must have had little attention as a child as she gets very jealous. She was jealous of my Dad and my close relationship. When she was mad at me she would say "your just like your father" I took that as a compliment:-)

She did not like any of my friends when I was a teenager and now she doesn't like my daughters friends. She judges them harshly as she did mine. They dress like tarts, that one looks as hard as nails, etc. etc. As a result my daughter accepts her but all of us see her just for short visits. It's easier that way. She also didn't like my Dad's friends and would not allow them to come to the house to visit my Dad. The one or two she did like she would flirt with and hog all of the attention away from my Dad. They were coming over to visit my Dad (he was in a wheel chair) and she would take over the conversation. I told my Dad he should visit them at their house but it wasn't easy with his disability.

When things got sent to me from my grandparents (my Dads parents) , gold jewelry etc. she would keep it and later said it was for her not me. My Dad didn't know alot of this stuff. I told him in later years. He just let her get her way anyways as he wanted to keep the peace.

I am not the type to cause problems so I would just let her have it. That was at a young age, even then I had more maturity than her. She grew up very poor, my Dad was well off which may be the reason she is the way she is.

I know if I try to buy the stuff she will be embarrassed and just give it to me but then be mad. In other words I will pay for it.

Since my Dad passed away she has become less confrontational but sometimes it shows up. Her major stress in her life (my Dad) is gone so she has calmed down a fair bit. I hated the fact that she blamed everything on my Dad.

Now I feel sorry for her, she is what she is. Life's short, and that is why I am trying to be careful about this situation.

So you see, my mother is a real piece of work. Just an example, the times I did stand up to her, she walked out of my house and would not speak to me for weeks. She did the same to my Dad. He was easy going to but sometimes she was just too much. When he stood up to her she left, sometimes for weeks, and would not talk to him. Basically to make him pay. She was an expert at giving the silent treatment.

But I love her, something made her the way she is. Obviously she did not have the skills to change over the years. I love her, I just don't like her personality :-)

End result, if she does sell to this guy, I will go buy what I want and just not tell her. Then I will put it away until she is gone.
Kate

(whew....that was good therapy to vent)

If I was in this dilemma, I'd face the music
and get the things I find dear.
You said it yourself. she'd give in if you offered to pay, and she'd be mad. She'll get over being mad and you'll have your treasured heirlooms.
good luck!

I wondered the same as Madelaine. If you can take her not speaking to you for a few weeks, it might be the simplest way to do things. I'm so sorry she's making it so hard for you; this should be an easy task.