DJ, it's dear husband in here, but designated hitter at the baseball games... of which I know you've sat through many!

And doo doo head if you're divorced.....whatttt? Okay, okay, I'll quit. <insert evil giggle>

I can be outspoken in both places...but, I try to be diplomatic about it...not always successful at that but I try. I do have less of a problem about speaking my mind than I used to. After getting tired of being a doormat, I finally realized I did have a mouth and I could use it to speak. I'm more free at giving advice than is probably wanted...and I've upset some folks in my life for being honest with them about things...and then I've gotten into trouble for being misunderstood completely. Sometimes I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't...I try not to hurt anyone's feelings when I convey my opinion.

I still love the saying.......

Lord keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!

I'm not outspoken, unless I have someone or something important to defend. Even then, I'll hide behind the closest person, before speaking up.

I have so many views on this subject, but to keep from having a large controversy within the walls of this forum, I'll just say this...

If a woman speaks her views, she's considered a bit_h, aggressive, abrasive, and especially if her views are different from the crowd. There are loud noises, tearing of clothing, and gnashing of the teeth. People start looking for a rope and the nearest tree.

If she doesn't, then she is considered a wimp, uneducated, and not respected by some, even called names.

Where is the fairness in all of this? Where is the line between being aggressive and voicing your opinion?

Some would argue that women need to find a happy medium when speaking out. Puleaseeee....who is the "happy medium" police? Is it you? us? men? (oh god forbid)...

So asking someone if they are outspoken in the real world is a double-edged sword.

Yes, I am sometimes...but it doesn't mean others like it, or me. Now ask me if I care though.....bawhahahaha.

I think I might be a little more outspoken in the real world. I don't participate in different conversations much in the real world or forums. I am more a listener and observer in both. I can learn allot about the people around me. I can listen to a person's language, tone, and body language to get a feel for them in the real world. On forums, you never know.

I have to agree with JJ 100 % and will add two things to what she has so eloquently stated;

ONE: at times I have hesitated to speak what was really - truly on my mind because of the reasons JJ stated, so I did not.

TWO: when I did speak my mind saying what everyone else was sending PM's and emails to me saying, my post was deleted.

So I may be outspoken in person with people but have learned that on the forum to only make nice, or else! I figure if I can't be totally honest I will just remain a "stepford" poster, taking a chance even saying this much.
And thats sad...

good point Jj and i don't know weer the line is drawen, perhapps its to do with topic matter or even the individuel person your addressing. Some people may be more sensitive and we or most people seem to respect that, don't they?

saying that thirs always room for conflict and hurt feelings etc but i think conflict is inecvitable a lot of time with or in many soical circumstanses, what more important is how it is delt with and how its being resolved.

can't help conflict can speed up peace and mend fenses.

chatty

some people may be sending you pm saying xy and z about some other people and i knowen of some of that in the past myself and it is trickie when many sensitive and not outspeoken people are being hurt and probablie comming to you for a bit of help.

Maybee aske them to send the same pm onto the people who make desisions or ask if you can. IF the one person has it from a multitude of people how thir feeling if someone is cousing trouble then they be best placed to put trouble to write.

I fallen for defending some other people in heer some needed it and wanted it some din't want it but needed it and some just wanted to complaine for whatever reasons...but do or have done nuthing about the situasion to stop apart from complaine to a lot of people and before we know it thirs disproproriate anger over one person as we have in our minds everyone elses hurts and complants, when we answereing troubled posts.

its just the rules give a clear line of adress if somethings offensive, people should be personalie responsible to take that line in stead of just huffing off and no-one know why or weer they vanished to.

hmmmm lots for me to th9ink about anyway