Eagle
thank you for sharing.
I too have avoided adding to this topic.I saw where it was going from the first posts and purely for self preservation stayed out of things.DJ you brought this post forward
with this in mind....that we discuss ealier posts.
to elaborate.
my husband had an accident and was in hospital now I am nursing him and therefor home(bit like you Eagle)and the computer is a companion.My book my poems all solace between tasks.my friends messages balm to my soul.
Prior to the posts you discussed DJ I would have discussed my situation...The content and reaction to the posts where some saw nothing..some cared some seemed to be on a roll changed my perspection.
I found myself posting...so as to show I was staying.choosing who to post to.this is what hostility does to me.
its not fun...its not kind and if no one means what they say then why say things that are unkind..so the process changed me and my sharing.
the outcome is that I am still thinking if I have anything to offer the forum...
No one knows what another is living through...so for me this may be the wrong place at the wrong time..
I HAVE had kindness and actually its how I see others being treated that hurts...and I can and do tie my thoughts into my Christian life...

some students would say things...then when the going got hot say "ONLY KIDDING" this seems to happen here...then there is the fall out...the dust storm.
as Christmas is special for us here.it is another reason that I said nothing earlier..but instinct tells now is the time to say how things are for me...
to the lovely friends here.thank you for your friendship.
Love and blessings
Mountain ash

MountainAsh..I don't have time to reply here as I would like..but I would like to say that you echo my thoughts, feelings and disappointments..that I have felt here over the last month or so.

As you know, I also am going thru alot..but I hesitate to share here as I have done in the past..for fear of being "out of order"..not in the swing of things. Is life always on the upswing? I think not..and I thought this forum was for sharing? Do I have to stop sharing when I am not all smiles and things are tough? I didn't feel this way before.

Does this mean you are leaving the forum here, MountainAsh? This would be a great great loss for everyone here..and for me personally.

Oh sweet MA and Humlan...I'm so sorry you have felt you cannot share, regardless of the situation, the topic, the emotion. You have each supported me in such a huge way and I look forward to doing the same for you, if needed and wanted. Maybe I'm in a time warp, or maybe it is because I am newer to the forum, since I haven't felt the disappointments you have described.

If I have, an any way, contributed to that feeling I want to know so that I can improve.

In the meantime, please know I, for one, would miss your voices tremendously. And if we can't commune here, for whatever reason, would wish to find a way to stay in touch.

I haven't had the blessing of meeting you in person and yet I feel a kinship that touches me deeply.

MA, I had no idea your husband was in an accident. I'm so sorry to hear. How is he healing? And how are you doing while caring for him?

humlan, it's good to see you're posting from the states.

I'm saddened to hear that women are disappointed with responses here at BWS. I wish I could understand what responses have been out of order when it comes to sharing about personal issues. I try my darndest to keep up with the posts, but have somehow fallen short.

That is the point Dotsie...
the ethos (and I only speak for myself)was left so high up in the air and unresolved.GOOD women tried to aid the forum and you untimately.In my own case out of love..for all I have gained here and out of respect.

I prayed for a whole night for the God Willing to keep my family intact.Its been hard and is ongoing.

In that turmoil I had the clarity to see that a living entity as the BWS is has to be nurtured and fed..you have here the talent to do this and my non sharing says that something in me died..so I analyised further and saw my voice is not valued here.
decided that to play the GAMES speaking only to some answering others ignoring some not responding was not good enough for me.

DJ should really ask all the women who have left...I see many fine contributors in the archives see if there is a common thread...when you started this post DJ I TRULY pray it was in authentic caring not some experiment.

We are not a commodity .yes new people will come along but what about the hearts and souls of those who are wounded.

in society those who break rules are entitled to be told they have done so...if they dont see for themselves that they have done so. Perhaps moderation may be a step to consider.
I DO realise everyone has a different moral reasoning.
But the loud voices are not always correct.

My final contribution to this post.
Mountain ash

I feel terrible that anyone needing support has not recieved it on this site! When I see a post where someone is hurting I try very hard to support them with all the compassion that I feel. I feel very badly that I didn't know that you had illness in your family, Mountain Ash, and I'm so very sorry for what you must be going through. I know you are a deep thinking, and very poetic and you must feel very strongly when someone you love is hurting. Godspeed with healing and I hope you will care for yourself as well as you are a lovely person.

Eagle Heart, I thank you for sharing too. I had no idea that this site WAS your home at this time. When I first posted to this thread, I mentioned that to some this could be their connection to the world. If that is so for you, it is good for you to share that so others can treat you in kind. I am very sorry if I ever hurt you with a post and you belond here as much as anyone. Please don't feel you have to pull back because of a few hot topics on this forum.

I feel the women here, for the most part, are kind and want to do the right thing. If there is a hot topic, it may be better to stay away from it and know it is not there to hurt you.

I am hurt here as well by one or two posters whom I try to avoid. It's hard, I know, when you feel that someone holds malice towards you.

Personally, I hold no malice, as I said in my original post towards anyone here. I like that current events can be discussed, as well as harder subjects, but I want room for the support this site can provide as well. Our lives have hurts in them daily at times and we must feel safe here.

I think that over time, the "hot topics," will separate themselves from the support needed and we can have both.

I am an optimist but I do believe, again, that all the women here are good and compassionate women.

Dancer

Mountain Ash, I hear what you are saying about the birth of this post. I think that DJ is caring and has compassion or I would not post on the thread.

I agree with you , however, we are people, and we need to feel that we are when we are here.

Dancer

MA, your voice is and always has been valued by me and many others here at BWS. I always look forward to hearing about your life and your interest in the lives of all the others here at BWS. I'm so sorry to read your words. It's heartbreaking. It really is.

DJ, while I know this post was started to understand how you can best run your forum without conflict, I think it's hurting the spirit of BWS. If you have what you need, I'm ready to close it.

I'm sure some will disagree with this, but I think we need to move on.

Before you close it Dotsie, I want to say to everyone here who responded, no I'm not doing an "experiment." I'm very interested in online community-forming, on many many levels. I've been on this site since it started, 6 years ago, and have watched it grow and made many friends, though other than Dotsie, I've only met JJ in the flesh. And that's so interesting to me -- that we can be scattered all over the world, live in countries where different languages are spoken, and actually CONNECT with each other and form a community, with its own rules, and its own hierarchies, and its own characteristics. It's really rather amazing. And it doesn't have anything to do with our nationalities, or ethnicities, or race. It's truly a meeting of the minds. And one of the things I'm really really curious about is whether this community feels as "real" or more "real" than the community outside your doors. It's not an easy question to answer. See, I think that "culture" exists in our minds. It's not external, and it's not physical. So that means that you can create culture electronically, so to speak. Boomerwomen is a world unto itself.
thank you thank you all for sharing.
Dotsie, I'm sorry you have to close this thread. I really don't think it's hurting anything, but what do I know.

I think it's amazing that our hearts have been opened to women around the world through this site. I'm tickled that women from other coutries have met face to face and truly created life-long friendships.

However, parts of this post are making me cringe. Possibly it's because the truth hurts, but it's tough for me to read how BWS upsets people at times. It was never my intention. I know a perfect forum doesn't exist, but I like to think this is as close to what I launched it to be - a place for women to connect, encourage and support one another - as possilbe. To think that I've spent all these years and countless hours creating something that's hurtful is upsetting, so I must stay focused on all the good that was also posted in this thread. Yes, that's what I must do.