I'm going to be helping my students develop an interactive web site (kind of like this one) and am wondering about helping them deal with conflict on line. So, will you tell me your own experiences? how have you faced, avoided or dealt with conflict on this web site, for example?

A craft forum I belong to has had its share of drama drama drama. The forum is a paid site, paid by the owner. Since she owns it, it is hers and she set up rules. If you don't follow the rules, you get banned. Those who have been banned argue freedom of speech. That doesn't count when it is someone else's paid site and the someone else is paying. If you want to practice free speech, start your own forum, there are plenty of other internet sites to do it on, but it is her PAID site. They're banned because they reduce themselves to really ugly name calling, etc. And of course, the rules state no name calling.

Sometimes it can be defused, but just like in real life, the mob mentality can take over and it gets everyone whipped into a frenzy and turns into a cyber war of the words, and ugly words at that. Interestingly, the original two posters who start going at each other, if a third comes in to defend one of them, then the mob starts turning on the defender, and so it goes on and on. They can turn on you in a minute!

Moderators can sometimes nip things in the bud. Threads can be closed or locked.

It can be a real exercise in diplomacy, psychology and sociology!

I was a moderator on one of the largest published author sites on the web. I did my best to avoid conflicts and ease tensions. That worked well for quite awhile but then the mob mentality took charge once again when I was gone for a week. I came back and told it like it is, it was difficult to treat these established men and women writers like children but thats the way they were behaving. The site owner told them we have two rules. (1.) Treat others the way you want to be treated. (2.) All complaints go through Chatty. She alone will make a decision to go on with, or drop a topic.

To this day the site is friendly, well visited,and helpful to one another because I was forced to cancel the membership of several well known trouble makers, posters, saying NO ONE is above the rules. They were banned for six weeks and told privately if they wanted to return just sigh in again and then behave or be deleted permanently. They knew the rules, and knew there was no such thing as favoritism shown by me.

It has become a quiet, no squabbling, yet interestring site.

Some times people become too impressed with themselves and the importance they believe they have on a forum.

When I was a supervising manager for a major news organization in Washington, D.C. I use to hold meetings where my final words after stating the problems to be fixed were, we are going to play a game, its called, "you bet your job!" Hummm, worked every time too.

The brainstorming prior to the start will show the tendencies that will evolve.
Then the honeymoon time..then the path taken.May go through phases repeating until mature...EXCITING TIMES.

I love facilitating group work...watching people come from the woodwork..how students.. revert.. regress then grow
Power...whether by status or in a persons personality corrupts (I believe) unless companioned with humility.
Even if the project blows up in the students faces they will learn a lot..
The virtual aspect will unfold much...unlike real face to face projects there will be fantasy...and no doubt fingers which press send too quickly .
will you share your finding here..or are you just asking for examples..
if so will this be a survey or open? and how will you evaluate forum experience...given that we are on an open forum..
Mountain ash

i complaine via right channels, i accept when i am wrong or when i misbehaved (who me yes me lol) i keep complaining and keep being myself . I understand when understanding required.

catching more flies with honie comes to mind, be nice treat everyone privatlie as adults and appeal to the muature side of them and sometimes people behave as respectfull mature adults.

ban the buggers that won't play faire when all else failes or when they can't behave.

diologe gotta be so important as its all you have online. Will ther be apponted modiraters for channels of complainet or set procedures. or is this exaclie what your trying to see will develop?

MA,
I really want to hear experiences. I'll share it with you if you like.

Celtic --Good question about moderators and setting up channels for complaint. How does one know if they're playing fair or not? Who decides what's fair?

I'm not sure if moderators is the best route. Chatty above says it worked well in her situation. I also have heard otherwise. Chatty -- did the ones you banned want to come back after 6 weeks, or were they annoyed about it?

If anyone prefers to send me PMs about this, that's fine too.

DJ, I suggest searching the internet of sites similar to the one you want to start. Read their forum rules are and take notes. It's a great way to get started. A lot depends on the spirit you want to create and the purpose of the community.

Dotsie,
I'm interested in personal experiences. (Besides that, I frankly don't have that kind of time.) Will I find those out there? What about your experience? What spirit did you want to create and do you think you've been able to do that? I remember when you decided to use the "hall monitors."

In my opinion, and my satisfaction, it's important to be able to express oneself even if one's beliefs aren't popular with the "whole."
It's well and fine to have a moderator to step on people whom they see as "out of line," but a forum is only as good as it's moderator(s) and their view of conflict as opposed to discussion..
I've noticed that in forums I've belonged to, there are certain people who are favorites with the management who are allowed to go further than those that are not. This game of favorites may be based on how much a poster posts or how much the poster adds to the forum. I've seen new people get the he** kicked out of them for having new ideas because they are an unknown entity.
I think that to truly solve conflict, there needs to be some leeway allowed to posters who disagree but not to the extent of personal insults and slights.
Often a topic is stopped right when it gets interesting because of one or two posters who have taken things personally and let loose of all decorum. We must all remember to practice decorum even when we disagree and we must be allowed to express out view no matter how out of line it is with the masses.

That to me is real discussion and also, how to solve conflict...that is, talk, (type,) it out with open minds.

That is the ideal, anyway.

Dancer

DJ, I wanted a place for women to connect, encourage and support one another. I believe I've been able to do that to the best of my ability. It's not always easy being the "judge" of what connecting, encouraging and being supportive is, but because I own the site, I have to be the judge of that, as you will have the final word on your forums, I imagine.

If you don't have time to surf, then I recommend having a mission or vision statement, or a few words to define the community so members understand the climate of the forum before becoming involved.

I'm sure there are women who come here, read the guidelines, read our posts and jump right in, and I'm also sure there are women who are interested in other types of forums and keep on surfing. That's why it's great that the Web is so vast. There's something for everyone.

Let me know if you need any help with setting up the site. I'd be happy to help.