Absolutely Casey, there are parents who are able to reach inside themselves, and pull out that 'extra' for their children, regardless of the fact that they both work full-time jobs outside the home. Not any easy task, when you have both parents, or in so many cases, only one parent, exhausted at the end of the work day, returning home to punch in for their 'second' job of parenting.

I see the children in my neighborhood arriving home everyday, after school. I know they are entering empty homes. I see their parents pulling into their driveways hours later. Seven o'clock p.m. is their average arrival time. The schools here have after-school programs, but these shut-down at five p.m. I know of no one who leaves work before five.

Most of these parents work six days a week. I often wonder just when they have time to 'parent'. One mother told me she and her husband average three hours a day, with their children, on weekdays. Weekends are spent on the run, taking care of errands, and making a dent in housework, all the while feeling as though they are always behind on everything. Before she knows it, it's Sunday evening and time to get ready for the next week's grind. This is the average life of today's family.

Newleaf, you see it all very clearly...the middle class in this country is on the verge of extinction. We are regressing to a time in our history when there were but two classes, rich and poor. According to the College Board's Trends in College Pricing 2006, the average cost of a 4-year degree at a private college today is more than $30,000 per year. And with tuition on the rise, that same education could cost more than $260,000 12 years from now. The average American is being shut out of newer home buying, health care is the biggest money-making business in this country, we are paying more and more for products and services, while being constantly sold on the idea we need more and more of these to fullfill our American Dream. Believe me, that recent hike in credit card minimum payments was merely the first. The average American family is becoming more and more indebted to these slices of plastic, out of necessity. Empty-Nesters are seeing more and more adult children moving back in, often accompanied by children of their own. Recent college graduates are finding it impossible to find living quarters, due to outrageously high rents in the areas where jobs are available.

We're all in trouble, and it's going to get much worse, before it begins to get better. One of my pet peeves recently, is the hype concerning the Boomer Generation. 'Invest your life savings! Jump in and start your own business! Let go the grip you have on whatever you have been able to save, during your lifetime! Buy that million dollar Dream Home! Retiring? Who needs that! Get out there and keep on working, earning, and above all, Spending!' Yeah, right! I guess this hype is meant for all of the Boomers who have that million+$ saved-up for retirement, or for the ones who have been brain-washed into the old 'die with your workboots on' mentality.

Great thougths ladies. i started a book last night that is going to be ineteresting, to say the least - The Feminine Mistake. I posted soemthing about it about a month ago. I am finally getting around to reading it. It's very controversial, so I am curious.

Two other books that share what it's like to raise kids and work in a two parent family are:

The Bitch in the House
The Bastard on the Couch

I read both and found it sad to hear what is going on in households around the country where both parents work to maintain the comfortable lifestyle, or any lifestyle at all.

Ready for some good reading? Check them out.

Yes, many fine points have been made about how expensive it is to live certain lifestyles today. That is certainly a topic for discussion....My mother was at home and my father was a blue-collar worker. Seven of us lived in a small apartment, which usually changed from year to year.

In fact, I find it a bit humorous that it is considered a modern day social ill if a family cannot afford to buy a home. Back in the 50s and 60s where I lived in the Northeast, many people could not afford a home and it was not a sign of financial or social ruination. Our family could not afford a car or even a phone. We walked or took a bus when the need arose. Restaurant food was a treat reserved for after a family funeral. If a child complained about being bored or depressed, a parent provided plenty of work to get the mind, body and spirit re-directed.

My major point is that education and self-discipline starts in the home, no matter what one's socio-economic status. If children are created in a family, the family must instill the right set of values. The school complements and expands what is initially taught in the home.

I maintain that living within your means today is still a good starting point. Whether you live in a home, rooming house, apartment, or with relatives, you CAN be a responsible adult who is raising responsible children.

Jeannine: I read your excellent point about the middle class getting squeezed. I see the main squeeze as coming from paying more and more taxes for programs which do not work. I also see a tremendous need for healthcare reform. For example, as a nurse I saw way too many youngsters having babies at taxpayer expense, while the cop and his wife paid extra insurance premiums to cover not only their own newborn's bills, but they also covered the bills for the youngsters who decline to practice birth control.

I see where you note the expense of private college. Since college is a privilege for those who can afford it, any person can go to a local community college and take one course at a time if need be, while working to support themselves.

My husband spent the last 30 years taking college courses as he worked throughout the decades, and he received his bachelors degree last year. One guy was 92 when my son graduated college in 2004. (My son went through the military and took out loans while working and attending school.)

The old adage, "Where there is a will, there is a way," still works today.

Yes, we need to revamp the system back to individual responsibility. The aged, truly handicapped, and sudden emergency situations need all of us to pitch in. Somehow, we made the government (euphemism for taxpayers) responsible for everybody's poor choices. When does it end? Soon the middle class will be paying so much for so many, there will be few self-sufficient people left.

Socialism is not the answer. Individual accountability is. Once that happens, I guarantee in time the violence problem will diminish....

You make some good points, Josie.

I believe in individual responsibility - but only if all things are equal. And they are not. Not right now.

Yes, you can get an education cheaply, if not for free. Where there is a will there is a way - but only if you think you have a chance. Internal strength is part environmental and part heridity. Your husband has it, but not everyone has had the opportunities to learn it or inherit it. I think it's bigger than that simple line.

I agree with you whole heartedly that education begins at home. But, what do you do when it doesn't begin there? Reality is, not everyone has equal opportunities in our country.

As for socialism.....my european friends.....is govenment health a viable solution? Is it working? I am enamored with the idea, but what are the strengths and the weaknesses?

I find myself stradling the fence on the issue of individualism vs. socialism -- we probably need elements of both. In very poor areas, people don't know that they have a choice. Their lives are boxed in and their parents, who don't know about choices either, can't teach them. Only a person who can reach them can do that (see Freedom Writers).

I totally believe in a government sponsored health care. Social Security recipients get their checks and so do Medicare recipients. The overhead for Medicare is less than it is for private insurance plans. Social Security funds were chugging along just fine until they decided to have the funds become part of the general budget back in the 1960s at some point.

Statistically, violence increases during wartime. That's part of what we are seeing right now.

And yet, there is a need for people to own their own responsibility and get out of the blame game. At some point, if you had a rotten childhood, you need to let that go and move on. The idea of living within my means is a good one -- some day, I'll even put it into practice (LOL--can you see where my education needs to be!). Actually, this is a choice I'm making right now -- doing the work I love, risking what I have made in the tech industry and living off the assets while I build the business.

There are points, I believe, in everyone's life, where they need a helping hand. There are many places to look for it -- family, church, and yes, government organizations. We are all in this together.

I just finished reading the book, The Gift of the Jews (it's an old one). In it the author discusses the idea that the commandment not to murder extends to helping the poor. For if we do not feed them, and they starve to death, we are committing murder.

It's a cunondrum, with no simple answer...

The politics of a country is a broad issue.I believe that the cost of homes means that two parents work to put a roof over their heads.
In UK the right to buy was intoduced and their a fewer rented homes available.So two parents working is a fact of life.Then couples want to have the lifestyle to match the house.
Its sad that afforable rented property is rare ad that children bear the brunt of changing childcare patterns.
I firmly believe that bonds with parents are strenghthened in the early years and that a mortgage means both parents have to work...leaving childcare to older siblings and whatever is available locally.
mountain ash

Anno
The Beveridge Report Post ww2 brought about much of our welfare stare in the UK.
The National Health Service has met my needs well.As a boomer I have had the benefit of medical attention.In the future with an aging population there may be changes.We can opt for private medical care(I have when necessary) but everyone will be cared for by our system.In Scotland Free personal care for the elderly exists.
I have summerised what Beveridge saw as the way forward in
1945.


The Five Giants

The Beveridge Report and the welfare state

The concept of the welfare state refers to the state's provision of public measures and support to achieve basic living standards and help those in need across society. Ideally, the welfare state aims to relieve poverty, reduce inequality, and achieve greater social integration and solidarity.

The Beveridge Report was designed to counter the five giants of illness, ignorance, disease, squalor, and want. It considered the whole question of social insurance, arguing that want could be abolished by a system of social security organised for the individual by the state. Beveridge recommended the establishment of a national health service, national insurance and assistance, family allowances, and stressed the importance of full-employment.

Although not entirely as Beveridge wished, the measures were adopted and formed the basis of the British post-war Welfare State. Family allowances were enacted in 1945, and National Insurance and the National Health Service in 1946; full employment became government policy. Together, these developments created the welfare state, a system of social security guaranteeing a minimum level of health and social services.
Montain ash