I'm new to this site and I need some advice. I'm a widow of 7 years who recently (6 months ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. I have been asked out by a guy 15 years my junior. I'm not looking for anything permanant right now, but I'd like to have fun (dinner, theater, sex, etc.). Any advice? My ex-boyfriend was only 8 years younger and that didn't really matter, but 15....?

Hey, if it feels right, go for it. The date, I mean.

When we are young, age makes a difference. It's what we have in common and where we are in life that is important.

If you like him and he likes you and you have something to do that you both like, what could be the harm? Just, (this is advice) don't jump into the sack right away. Dinner, theater one thing. Sex, something else.

Gabrielle - Why don't you tell us more about yourself? Introduce yourself and join us in some of the fun.

I think it depends how you appear as a couple. I think I'd have a problem if people wondered if I were his mother; although mentally I'm still at the age of 25 (or younger). Physically, I'm right up there with my age.

It depends how old you are, Gabrielle. I think the older you are, the less the age difference should be. Alone the sex drive is a reason. When I think of me now, and how I was 15 years ago…. that's like comparing a hot little bunny to a sleeping toad.
…..croak.

The new rules for 2007 are that there are no rules, if it feels good, do it....Who cares what other people say? There is no way to please everyone, so why bother. You/we only go around once and should grab all the gusto we can.

Thanks for your replies. I am 54 yo, run a successful business, and became a widow on New Years Eve, 1999, when my husband of 20 years died suddenly. We never had children, not out of choice, but simply because it never happened and so we grew our business instead. A year after his death, I began seeing a guy I had known for many years who was in the process of a divorce. In 2005 we became engaged, and in August of 2006, he decided he needed to be single for a while (read: had met someone else). He was a coward and set me up to break it off with him, but that's water under the bridge. I engaged in the usual hysterics and went through a grieving process and then the fog began to clear. I am now on my game again, and, in fact, pleased that I had seen his true colors before we got married. I have been asked out by a guy 15 years my junior and just wondered if anyone had experience with that. I'm sort of fascinated with the idea, and may just give it a shot. I think after 25 years of being a part of a traditional couple, I'm ready for a little non-traditional experience.

I've always dated men younger than me until I stopped dating. As long as you have something to talk about and laugh about and the same morals, no problem. Demi Moore and Ashton Kusher don't have a problem. Why should you?

I agree...you won't know unless you go out with him...he may be the perfect companion for dinner or life...who knows?

Just be sure he's not after your money!

Kathy's right. Keep your money in your pocket! No joint accounts or writing him checks or loaning him a penny.

Thanks. I am very much aware of that issue. When I was engaged, my lawyer was very firm about pre-nups. Plus,I learned my lesson well. I had helped pay for my ex-boyfriend's daughter's college tuition (as well as many other things), and was reimbursed for only a very small portion of the loans. While I really believe he never intended to take the money and run, I will NEVER do that again!

When I was dating in my 30's I went out with a man who was 11 years younger than me.(okay I was 33 and he was 22) We had the time of our lives. Mostly because we knew there was no "long term" commitment because we were both in two very different places in our lives. He'd never been married and I'd already had three children and divorced twice. I couldn't have more children and he wanted to eventually have a family.

Later, I met another man, 6 years younger than me who I fell in love with and married. Yep. Still married to him. We've been through him turning 30, and now this year, he'll be turning 40. heehee. Of course, he wasn't real excited about becoming a step grandpa at 39.

Gabrielle, what kind of business do you have? Would you like to share more about yourself?

Husband #1 was three years older, he was 21, I was 18.

Husband #2 was 18 years older, he was 44, I was 26.

Husband #3 was 7 years younger, he was 47, I was 54.

So I've had it both ways and never thought about their ages one way or the other. To me it depends on the maturity and character of a man.

Funny, you gals think he's after her money. I think he's after her boomer body!

Oops.

Not the best way to welcome a newbie. Sorry.

Welcome Gabrielle. Thanks for jumping in and sharing right off the bat.

Welcome Gabrielle...
You sure do jump in with the hot and heavy!!!

What's the saying, something about younger men wanting a purse or a nurse? Regardless, a boy toy (in this case a younger guy) doesn't sound bad... that is until he starts acting childish or has habits unbecoming to a mature man. Good luck on whatever you decide to do... might read what the ladies had to say on the thread about dating rules (even tho you sound wise @ 54)... http://www.boomerwomenspeak.com/forums/s...ge=0#Post108453

Again, WELCOME

I own an ambulance service and the majority of my management team are younger men. I have seen the mature ones and the immature ones and can almost recognize the "peter pans" in the first few minutes of conversation. But, I must admit, sometimes the immature ones are the most fun to be around. The younger guy I wrote about has been an acquaintance for about 5 years (and he says he's had a crush on me since he met me). He's in law enforcement (which is an issue in and of itself) and seems willing to entertain some unconventional future activities (not pertaining to sex, that subject hasn't been broached yet). A lot of guys my age are either looking for much younger women or are looking for someone to cook and clean for them. I'm looking for someone to "kick it" with as they say....to go to unusual places, do some oddball things, and just to laugh. I've never seen Disney World because I don't have kids, so I need someone who would love to go see Disney World and perhaps stay in the Ice Hotel in Canada someday. That's what I'm ready to do and he seems willing to join me in the adventure. I know he's a little bizarre, but, as Billy Joel would say "it just may be a lunatic you're looking for...".

Although I'm married and not in the market.....

The fact of the matter is, that at our age most men are younger than we are. There just aren't that many available men 50+. I've read that by age 60 women outnumber men by 8 to 1.

So I would think that older women dating younger men is just peachy. You gotta fish where the fish are.

mrs madness, interesting comment. I wasn't aware of that.

gabrielle, I love Billy Joel. Keep us posted.

Now here's a subject I could really sink my teeth into.
It isn't just Demi. There's Mary Tyler; Joan Collins; Susan Sarandon, and on and on. I agree with the last two comments: Don't get financially entwined. My hubby is only 3 years younger than me. But I like the way chatty thinks.
Go for it, girl! Most of us are in denial about age, anyhow.
Prayers and blessings,
B. Rose

Wow...I just read something that will fill my dreamworld for nights to come. Heidi Fleiss (the madam) is opening "The Stud Farm" 80 miles outside Vegas. It will feature male prostitutes who cater only to women. Our dreams have been answered. HOOOOOOOOWHEEEEEE!

Must be something wrong with me...I'm not attracted to younger men. At all. I prefer older men who look rugged and a little worse for wear. Glasses and balding with broad shoulders and at least 6 ft. tall.

ALL men are looking for a mamma or a nurse or a purse...my opinion. If they're not, they're looking for a bunny and I don't mean the Easter bunny.

My grandson's dad's best friend is 27 and says he can't come around our house because I take his breath away. He can't understand how my grandson's dad can live with me and not have a problem.

I am amused by that, not intrigued. I've checked him out, but he just looks like a boy to me.

Well, NewLeaf, you know what they say, Each to his own. Or in this case each to her own. I like young beef-cakes.
Others like them more mature. That's cool. Whatever turns you on!!!!
Blessings,

27 can be rather boyish. I'm looking more at the 37 - 47 age group. Emotional maturity is important too, and that comes from life experiences and upbringing. I also enjoy the attention of older men, but my late husband was 10 years older and most people thought he was my father. He let himself go and it showed. I see that with so many older men. They often wait until they get sick to begin taking care of themselves. The majority of older men I see at the gym are significantly overweight and I'm sure they were/are heavy smokers as well (from their pallor and wrinkles around their mouths). I am often amazed to find out that many of these men are younger than I am. I enjoy taking care of myself, and am told I look at least a full decade younger than I am. But I also love life, and that involves eating well, a few good single-malts and great sex (although I'm still rebounding right now). And if someone dares ask my age, I answer by asking for their net worth.

The thought of dating again scares me. I don't think I will be able to do it. I have been with the same man since I was eighteen but will be single within the next year. Over the years I have watched and listened to the drama that most of my friends go thru and I don't think I want that. I look forward to being by myself, for awhile at least.

www.denisesgifts.com

newleaf, a momma, a nurse, or a purse. Never heard that. Aren't there any men left who are looking for companionship?

Its the 40 somethings that "stalk" me. I'm considered a MILF in my daughter's social group. I won't divulge the meaning....
I have to admit I enjoy the attention, but still, I like men a little seasoned and experienced. I don't mind a little tummy and a few wrinkles...

A little tummy and a few wrinkles don't bother me, but I have to make sure it's the guy himself I'm interested in. When I was younger and very insecure, I always preferred the guys who weren't hunks, who had flaws, who would appreciate me more and not leave me. I used to say I'd never date a guy who was "skinnier or better looking or had nicer hair" than I had. And older men made me feel so young and sexy and desired. That was just wrong and, unfortunately, I did break some hearts back then. I just want to make sure I make choices from a confident, loving place and not an insecure, manipulative one. A great guy is a great guy, young or old, if for all the right reasons.

My partner is 16 yrs. older and we've been together for past 14 yrs. I am 48.

Since he is quite fit ..meaning cycling an average of 10,000 kms. annually and when I meet his male friends, many who are cyclists (and reasonably fit) in his age bracket or younger, I currently have a warped sense of what less fit men look like/should look like at MY age.

When I meet men my age occasionally, I am abit surprised how some just look far more unfit than my partner. But this is more the norm.

Since I do work in a male-dominant workplace right now, meaning over 150 people, of which only 25% are female, it is something to guess/compare men's real ages and how they have weathered the years. There's probably a good proportion of guys at work, who are younger, meaning mid-30's to mid-40's.

If I were to be interested in someone younger, probably no younger than 10 years.

I guess I never thought of it as an insecurity thing...could be right. Inevitably though there is always some female more than willing to take them for a spin. I don't know why.

So it really doesn't matter whether or not they are younger or older...handsome or not. Its amazing to me the women on some of the websites I've encountered. One night stands and the such.
"Meet someone tonight for sex." ads.

I'm up for some dignity. For the first time in my entire life, I'm thinking it might be fun just to focus on ME for a while and not even have a relationship to worry about.

NewLeaf,
I don't understand women willing to do a one-night stand, in this day and age. AIDS wasn't even on the radar screen, when I was young. But that's a scary possibility. Why would anyone chance it????
Sorry, I don't get it. Life is too short to go that route.

Shows like Sex In The City and Friends have promoted the "normalcy" of one night stands and treated them like, "oh gee, there's soomeone in my bed. Slap my hand or hush my mouth and call me silly."

Premarital sex is treated like brushing your teeth or relieving your bladder. Sorry, why isn't there a reality show about the man or woman who is too drunk to wear the condom or about the couple who leaves the bar and goes to the doctor for an aids check prior to jumping in bed, or about the wife at home whose heart is broken and her small children are hanging onto her asking why mommy is crying?
Or, about the girl in the doctor's office with her legs spread wide and her feet in stirrups hearing the suctioning of her baby out of her womb.
No, we just blithely go about wondering who our next conquest will be and if our nails look alright.

Some of the men I've recently dated don't expect it on the first date, but they do expect it by the 3rd or 4th. I want to know someone better than 3 or 4 dates. In fact, I won't sleep with anyone unless he's my husband. If you do it with an unknown person, you can not only get a disease, you are likely to get a broken heart. Plus you have to live with the fact that you gave yourself to someone unworthy.

I have two sons. When they were dating it never ceased to amaze me how the girls had no pride at all. Our phone didn't stop ringing. It got so bad, that my sons asked me to filter out their calls. Later they both told me how many of these young women wanted to just sleep with them!!!

As it turned out, my youngest son married a woman that held out on him almost 6 months. And my oldest son is engaged to a young lady who never had a boyfriend before him. I guess that says it all.

I'm sorry ladies, but after reading these posts, I am so glad I'm married. I'm not waving this in your faces, but I want you to know you have my compassion for having to put up with the craziness that goes with dating these days.

The most sexually satisfying encounter is with someone of like mind who "knows" you. Someone who had taken the time to study you and know what mekes you tick. Anything else is just tire changing and not deep and abiding.
I take my time and study the one I'm feeling a love connection with. If we can sustain a loving relationship throught life's trials...then we can make it in the long haul.

My husband may be a $@#*%...but he has taken the time and interest to know me. He probably knows me better then anyone else I know.
I know him too. It amazes both of us on how many levels we connect..how much we will tolerate and how much we are willing to give to our relationship to make it work.

I agree with everyone....in a perfect world...but sometimes it feels good to just have a go at it. Yes, precautions are always necessary, and no, unwanted pregnancy is no longer a worry. But, not every man I date is a potential husband, and yet, in some deep, dark, primal area of my brain, they still look damn good. And, since my 54 yo body can still respond like a 25 yo when it sees something it really really likes, I won't play a game. I believe in honesty (to myself and others) and in wallowing in the warm damp of the moment. If my "date" is on the same page, why not just enjoy the experience.

I completely understand, Gabrielle, but this may sound archaic, every time you have sex with another person outside of marriage, you are joining yourself to that person as if you were in a marriage relationship with them.

Each time you give yourself to that person there is less of you to give to the right man someday when and if you find him, and even if that is something that interests you.

Burger King mentality is great except when it applies to your sacred body and that of another person. I feel like I have some responsibility to my fellow "man" to love him/her enough not to mar or sulley them. If they're going to be sullied, don't let me be the perpetrator.

Wow. I had the "right" man. He died suddenly 6 years ago. I don't feel as though I'm "marring" or "sulleying" anyone, and definately not myself. I suppose you could look at having sex only for procreation purposes, but that would mean most of the women on this site should no longer have sex.....what a shame. And how many women, some on this site I'm sure, have sex inside a marriage only because it is expected of them. That's not any better than having it outside of marriage when you don't want to. That's definately not treating your body as "sacred". And that "sullies" us. I believe that sharing something God gave us with someone who we enjoy being with,and who enjoys being with us, is a blessing. Life is a series of wonderful moments interrupted by a few bad ones. Good sex with someone I care for makes for an incredibly wonderful series of moments. Not everything is a Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes Burger King tastes darn good.

gabrielle, life is short. There will come a day when your body doesn't work the way it does now. Enjoy it while it's yours

I am not a Burger King fan, but I understand the attraction. Some days, a quick lunch is needed. Don't make it a habit, but enjoy it once in a while? Be yourself.

This could be a hot topic! I figure, different strokes for different folks and we should all do what is right for us and not another.

Hey, just my opinion here. I don't personally care what you decide to do with your life or your body. Not that I don't care about you, but its your body and your life.
I lost the love of my life quite suddenly in Louisville, KY in a hotel room with both grandkids in attendance, but I loved him dearly and know that he is probably observing me on occasion where he now is.
My body responds like an 18 yr. old to my husband and he loves it. We have sex for pure pleasure and its carnal, believe me! I've never thought sex for kids was a fair exchange although I do believe heterosexual marriage is the only way to raise healthy kids and is the only God sanctioned way to raise them.
Different strokes for different folks is fine and great. Couldn't agree more.
For me, personally, I have to look at myself in the mirror the morning after and wonder if I have taken part in creation of a venereal disease or a disposable life.

Gonna have to disagree with you on one point. I know very well adapted children of same sex unions. To say that they can't be because the parents are gay doesn't make any sense. It's the person, not their sexual preference.

I must say that some of the best parents I have known are not in traditional marriages. I have know single moms, single dads, two dads and two moms, not to mention grandmoms raising children. I have seen successful parenting in all types of relationships. I have a hard time believing that any God would want anything but the very best for children. To me, God represents LOVE - and love is found in all different types of relationships.

NEWLEAF

how come every couple of day your on the board damming someone for something. If its not this women and YOUR OPPINION of what sullies a devine female body its something else quite honestly within the one paragraph you can attack 3 seprite and unconected areas. Youv just jumped from sex, to hetresexuality being the only way to go, raising kids. Your not niave you know for certine that that is gonna offend and harrass some of our members yet at every chance you grasp with both hands any oppertunity, or create, hhijack the converrsasion in order to propigate offensive comments.........

who do you hate so much? those people that don't agree or FIT your SANCTIMONIOUS ramblings or do you just attempt to bully people with your never ending "just your oppinions" (which carries not one ounce of humility) into fitting with your oppinion.

this ladie is new to the board and you are RUDELY bombarrding her with you and i say again YOUR oppinions when she clearly has a mind of her own and her own oppinions and codes for living. Which are diffrent from your own SO leave her alone........

i say all power to her and the rest of us in families that DO NOT fit your idea of normality for family or sensual/sexule behaviours

gabrielle

thanks for asking and being so frankly honest with us all within 7 or 8 post. That takes guts and i welcome that....
i sure you will but contunue to live your life enjoying it as you will and please come share with us.........

i love your attitudre, honesty and love of life. It will be nice getting to know you more in the forums please stick around and grace us with your wisdom and your chatt...

take care talk soon celtic_flame

Yes, Gabrielle, agreeing with Celtic. You are courageous, your first posts being around a hot topic. Thank you.

I hope to see you on some of the other threads, here. And, please let us know how your life is progressing. We are all sorry for your loss and hope you find all the happiness that you deserve.

Post deleted by Dotsie

http://www.citizenlink.org/CLtopstories/A000003552.cfm

Not that anyone cares, but here is where my heart is regarding homosexuality. I believe this with my life and would fight for the right of every citizen to live in freedom of choice.

I want the heart of Christ without compromising his principles. And I wish the love of Christ to each and every one of you.

NEW LEAF
you are too ignorant of thse patenting issues to stand by anything as a fact. None of it is a fact all of it is in accourdance to your oppinion. FACT AND OPPINION ARE 2 DIFFRENT THINGS

Would you expect anyone to stand by and let you write nazi propoganda, racially hatfull comments no..... why becouse expression of oppinion only gose so far before it has to be socially curbed. Most people of general decency would relize this. SO A FORUM DOSENT WELCOM all oppinions THAT REVOLVE AROUND HATRID OR OPPRESSION. This one is ment to be a safe supportive environment, i am sure much to your bitter disapointment....GO CHEEK OUT THE FORUM RULES

"Your oppinion" and your right to "your say", you use as a batterring ram to force your views on anyone not as a method of expresion. You clam you are ONLY expressing your self but it is generall nuthing but hatfilled bile that falls from you mouth whenever you give "your oppinion".

your oppinion is generally a sentince you write as a precurrser to mysogonistic, nonsence or hate driven manipulitive tactics desined to have a sly go at someone (anyone at times)..........

in the above example i was objecting to your carryon with this new commer of all of ten post, who you assail with your morality again forcing the issue and rambing your oppinion home.........then on a dime you change tract to turn it into yet another anti gay remark or smeer on child rearing. May i remind you that you have no grounds to say how any child will grow up..........Gay hetrosexule, bisexual Asexule. Or how the upbringing will effect the child.....

NEWLEAFS QUOTE
I'm not offended by your ramblings and horrible torture of the English language. Don't you think it offends ME or makes me physically ILL to read your opinions about how two women get it on??


objecting to my horrible tourture of the english language........too bad i am dyslexic and wont stop writting as i do becouse of your sillieness. I thought someone with your self-clamed inteligence would relize the language disability...

NEVER have i wrote or described "getting it on" with my lover. I guess its your own imaginasion that making you sick, try stop being so perverce and intrested in what i do in the bedroom....

ONE LAST BUT IMPORTANT POINT....i am describing my life, my love my pride in my life, my life circumstancies NOT GOIN OUT OF MY WAY to be offensive to you in my writting .....QUITE A DIFFRENCE!!!

with your oppinion and your logic someone who is black wouldn't be allowed to talk about interacial issues someone jewish wouldnt be able to talk about their religion without OFFENDING YOU. Dont you think this is taking self-centred self-important ideals to the extreem..........

have a good day
celtic

the perfectly normale and adorible child that is my son needs some attension presently

one quick thing and it only merrits a few sentencies
i read your christianity link. Very nice and intrestting reading nuthing new and something that many good christions hold as true for themselfs, some even are frends of mine.

My oppinion on my self since its my life your expeccting to affect. Still gay homosexule, lesbiane (whatever terminology that you want to use) and still choising to be so. Even if i could be straight i think at this point i would still choise to be lesbian.

bye

QUOTE:"You are all so afraid of offending someone that you don't have the courage to stand up and say what you really feel and believe because it wouldn't be politically correct and you might appear to be inflexible or open minded."

I was taught to accept everyone with respect, love, compassion and sensitivity to all circumstances as all are created in the image of God. To do otherwise would be unChristian. I assure you, it does not have anything to do with political correctness at all. Friendships arise out of our differences, whatever they may be, as much as it has with similarities. Reckless statements made which have hurt Celtic and Po, hurts me as well as these are fair friendships I would like to nurture. Newleaf, whilst we are all entitled to voice our opinions, in much the same way one could equate that to free speech, that basic and fundamental right does have boundaries of courtesy which need to be observed. Especially so when one makes careless presumptions of others' personal circumstances the perception of which is, I must say, scant.

Thanks so much. My late husband's mother was a McIllduff whose relatives were from Belfast. He was always researching her geneology before he died. I have spent a good portion of my life living up to someone else's standards. First it was parents, then two husbands, and all that time I never really stopped to think about my values, my feelings, my dreams. The poet, Basho, said "With the walls of my house burnt down, I have a better view of the moon". I finally decided to take a good hard look at me, not me as part of a couple, but just me. I like me.

I need someone who would love to go see Disney World and perhaps stay in the Ice Hotel in Canada someday. That's what I'm ready to do and he seems willing to join me in the adventure. GABRIELLE52

sounds like they both be fun days out..especilly the ice hotel how cool (no pun) would that be too see let alone stay a while in....

i hope when you have those adventures youd be sure to update and fill us ladies in on the adventure.......I would love to heer how it all went.

one good thing about maturing in this world is getting to live life by our own standderds and no one elses....You may of taken a bit of time getting to your place in the world but your ther now so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Whatever it is that you are doing

celtic

Ice Hotel? For real? Never heard of it but sounds fascinating.

On another note: My ex BIL tried everything he could find to NOT be gay. Church, choir...anything. Even tried marriage with my sister and talk about causing pain by trying to be something he wasn't and couldn't be! It was never a choice to him as hard as he tried.

Listen Celtic, I was attacked by the same person who is attacking you for having money!

New Leaf, it's not what is said, it's the tone that makes the music. Don't you know that your views come across a lot better, if you state them without insulting someone? I rather see Celtic's spelling errors, (which she has explained comes from her dyslexia) than your painful soul bashing words. So, what is your excuse? And don't use your religious beliefs as an excuse; that would be the biggest contradiction within itself.

As far as your views about homosexuality, you are entitled to them, of course. Have you noticed, no one is as riled up on this subject as you are? Makes one think….

I'm with Lola on this. Anyone who attacks Celtic and Po, who I consider as two fine friends of mine, attack me as well. You have crossed the boundaries of simple respect towards other human beings. It's time to back off.

Post deleted by Dotsie

Post deleted by Dotsie

New Leaf, you are way out of line here. No one, not one person, has asked you to leave the forum. No one, not one person, has asked you to accept homosexuality. No one, not one person, has asked you to accept anything that you believe to be wrong.

What the women here are asking, myself included, is to be respectful in your tone and words. I have read your painful words once too often.

Po and Celtic are my friends, as are many of the other women here. I would have liked you to be one of those friends, but, I am sorry, I am picky about my friends. I will not tolerate disrespect and blatant cruelty. The words that you have choosen to use frequently in this thread and previous threads, the flippant and smart a** comments in your last two posts illustrate to me that you are an unhappy woman and wish to make others unhappy. I hope I am wrong here.

I love this forum and feel safe here, 90% of the time. You have made me feel uncomfortable. So stay, or go, that is your choice. But please knock off the rudeness.

Something I don't understand...you said there needs to be a mother and father for a child to grow up normal and healthy. Wasn't your daughter in jail?

Back to the topic at hand. Gabrielle, you found the right man years ago, so you know that it can happen again. Are you looking for another right man? If you are, maybe this will help:

I looked for years for my perfect mate. Wasn't finding him, so I dated quite a lot, looking. Once in a while, someone would come along that was nice and we would hang out for a few months, perhaps even a year or more. But eventually, one of us would decide that we both wanted different things.

6 years ago, I joined an online dating service, more for just the fun of it than looking for mr. right. I think I had given up on that notion. Went on quite a few dates, mostly just once, but a few a couple of times.

A few days before my purchased time was up, I met Dennis. Funny thing is, his time was up to. We met, bonded almost immediately, and within a few dates, we both knew we would be together forever.

Have fun, no matter what your goal is at the current time.

Holey Moley! I just wanted to talk about dating a younger man. I feel like I set off an IED and now there's all sorts of collateral damage. Why don't we do what men do; open a beer, have a little arm wrestle, fart a few times, and then turn on the game.

Ya, these things happen sometimes. Welcome to the life of boomer women central. You did NOTHING wrong. Okay, I am heading to the fridge, poppin a beer and getting ready to let one rip. I will pass on the game, however.

gabrielle52

good to see you again...and i am glade you havent been frightened away or put off comming back. its already been said but i will say it again you havent coused all this. We are all adults and above all else responcible for our own actions and words....feathers get ruffled at times, people have tantrims at times, its just life. Please dont get the impresion that its always like this becouse its not.

Its a good supportive place to be and meet warm harted accepting women that will give you a lot of love and support if you are willing to let them in.

I really wanna know about the trip you take to the ice hotel i have only seen it on TV and documenteries. I think it would be fasinatting and you do sound fun that heer and disney is the places you used as examples to go dating.

Have you made any seriouse plans to go or is it still at the whishing and dreaming stage?

Can i pass on the beer and farting lmaoooo but i am willing to do the arm wrestling lol

Can we do what women do heeer welcome you back and give you an invite to tell or talk more about yourself....i for one am intrested ....

oh i got a question if you dont mind that place outside las vegas with the men, is that real?

ok two questions, seriously, how do you think that would be visiting such a place. Have you seriously thought about it or weer you just having a joke?

all ears celtic

Anno
thats a great storie about how you meet your hubbie. It just gose to show at the most unlikly times and places sometimes they appear....cool
celtic

What's IED, Gabrielle? There's an Ice Bar in London where glasses to stools are made of ice. I have'nt been but my son and his fiancee have. One brings a coat or can borrow from the bar (much like bowling shoes, I guess). I can only imagine what an Ice Hotel must be like. Won't it be a tad of a problem taking a hot bath there?

I don't have a strong arm for wrestling and do not drink but I can bring the pork scratching or pretzels.

Welcome Gabrielle, nice to see you on board. It seems alot has been going on while I have been in my bed , poorly. I am heading back there....I hope to see more of you when I am up and at it again

Keep Sweet

Popea

Post deleted by Dotsie

Yeah, right......

Answers to questions: There are 2 Ice Hotels in the world that I am aware of. One is in Canada and the other is in
Sweeden I believe. I understand that you spend one night in the hotel and then they have other accomodations. But the bar is made of ice as are the beds and the whole hotel. I understand the hotel is rebuilt every winter. Plus, there are many winter sports to partake in. I would love to go there and hope I will sometime soon.
Second, the "Stud Farm" is for real. Heidi Fleiss is getting approvals for it as we speak. I don't know what approvals she has gotten yet, but from what I understand it is a project in the works for the next year. Of course, it is men that must give approvals, and while they have many places in Nevada for the benefit of men, this may be a little difficult to swallow for men.....pun intended. If I hear anything more, I will keep you posted.

I believe the ice hotel is in Quebec somewhere.

As for NewLeaf's remarks...I had no idea there was a meltdown until now.

Newleaf....you are doung exactly as I suspected and said you would do when I posted you in private and asked that you did not equate 'murder, rape, c/s/a and autism with homosexuality', spilling your wickedness and running. The actions of a coward. I personaly was prepared to let by gones be so....but still you insist on creating your own special little brand of offence. You are a bigot, and predjudice such as yours is rampant, it does not just offend....IT KILLS!
How dare you attack Celtic on her 'murder' of the english language...HOW DARE YOU! Have you no wit at all?? Celtic could and would run rings around you verbally....and with the written word.

Anyone who understands the basic premise of dyslexia would also know that children who were dyslexic over the last few decades were treated as 'stupid'...a word you seem quite fond of bandying about. Celtic is but a tiny step off her PHD and is in the top 2/4 percent of people with outstanding IQ's in the U.K. Quite a stark difference from you're thrown together assaults.

Our son has more understanding of consequence than you appear to have. I do not have an issue with telling you at this point that no woman with her mind and heart intact will fall for you passive/aggressive nonscense.

We all have troubles of our own...each and every one of us I am sure...but rarely I see them reflected in such negative directions in the forums. Your loathing of all that you do not understand does not give you any special pardon or licence to hurt and wound anyone. If you are having such a hard time...don't dare even think about taking it out on me or mine. Such self absorbtion can only hurt you further...but must you hurt others at any given opportunity?

I for one do not need your respect...it has been obvious for long enough that you have no respect!

Your posts have been self-seeking dribble...with chaos bieng all you seem to thrive on. No one ever asked you to accept 'homosexuality'....or anything else that you have ranted on about. All I ask for is common decency and manners, from anyone I come in contact with...simple.

If I was black or any other racial minority...would it be acceptable to verbally assault me?? No...so the same is true for homosexuality and associated lifestyles.

Run.....or why not face up for once and apologise.

Popea

To answer the question of "what is an IED?". It's a military term for Improvised Explosive Device. The homemade bombs the enemy uses in Iraq against our troops and around the world. I never expected my original question to provide such a platform for a soapbox.

yea you can rent a soap box heer lol just leave a deposit with the doorperson lol....
their was nuthing wrong with your original question, or attitude or line of answerring or attitude to life any of it..so no worries i hope on your part...

Ied i will try to rember that and its meaning.....

well i learned another important thing but about a week too late (sigh) i am just back from London and they have a ice bar their....i didnt know...i be their with a cushion (dont want piles) for a coke next time i am in london....

have you visited any of the other forums, it took me a while to work my way around naviagatting the site....have you been postting their or found anything that grabs your attension?

celtic

These forums are hear to connect, encourage and support boomer women. Unfortuantely, all of us can't agree and be on the same page with our belief systems. That is life. LIke Mom used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." I ask that the bickering please come to an end. Thank you. I really don't want to have to close this thread.

I'm going to have to Google ice castles because this is something I know nothing about. Beds made out of ice? Did you really say that?

Wasn't there an ice castle in one of James Bonds' movies?

Here's a website for the Ice Hotel in Canada:
www.icehotel-canada.com. I understand they rebuild them every year because they melt eventually. I've heard the one in Sweden is even more spectacular.

"Cool" site!

Hi there ladies. Once again I've been out of town. I was at Mom's this time and I always have such a great time with her. She's a hoot.

An Ice Castle? WOW! Wonder if they have non-smoking rooms? hahaha...Rooms with a view? Fireplaces? hahaha....okay, okay, I'll stop............................not.

so it dosent open in the hight of summer then, pity i would of loved a stay and a tan hmmmmm

lol kidding

watched and looked at the pics and it looks amazineeee I loved the iglos and fake (hopefully) fur bedcloths....

one thing did anyone else spot the ice toilet?, thrid pic down on the left!

celtic

WOW! It's like a crystal palace.

Celtic: Yep, Saw the loo. Did you see the Chapel? Picture a wedding there and it truly gives rise to having "cold" feet.

I just had images of Lucien and Celtic with their tongues stuck to the furniture!!

Po

OMG! Then Celtic can't talk/type anymore!!!!
And Lucien...he couldn't run around with his Bat Man card!

No no...there are better places to visit.

Well, I went on a date with the "younger" guy and had a wonderful time. He was very attentive, generous, and we got along famously. He told me my outfit looked great and took me to dinner, drinks and a movie. Although it's very early in the relationship, I definately sense he's very interested. I had to drive a distance the next day, and he even called to make sure I arrived okay. While having a drink at a local pub, he had to use the restroom, and in his absence another gentlemen tried to strike up a conversation with me. My date returned and had to elbow his way back in to his seat. He mentioned the "pick-up" attempt and i could tell there was a spark of jealously, but in a very flattering way. He asked if we could see each other again, and i said absolutely. I'm not sure if he knows my true age, but he is well aware that I am older (about 14 years). I don't think it bothers him at all. I like this guy. Oh, and he's a damn good kisser too.

Yeah! Sounds like a lot of fun!

Sounds like a very good night. I am so glad that you had fun. Remember to tell us about the follow up date!

You kissed on your first date? You little hussy! Not really...good for you!

Damn....I forgot to read the rules of dating. But, I guess I didn't give too much away, or at least he liked the kissing too as he called last night and we spoke for an hour. We have a lot in common. It's a little spooky. One day at a time....one day at a time.

One day at a time....
Good plan. Sounds like you both had a great time.

chick

Well, my younger man (16 years) and I went on a second date, and a third and now he wants to go on a vacation together, as well as attend an upcoming concert with his sister. He calls me everyday, text messages me often, and talks as though this is a potential long-term thing. Wow. Who woulda thunk it? I'm still a little skittish, but I am enjoying the attention tremendously. I guess I just have to get used it for a while. Uh....okay.

I say if this makes you happy then good for you! It sounds like it is fulfilling your needs and moving forward with gusto. I hope it is all you want it to be! Sincerely!

Gabrielle...

Glad it's going well...keep us posted!

Oh, my, you sound happy. Still feeling skittish? Well, that is okay - it's your intuition talking to you. Enjoy the attention and listen to your inner heart.

Gabrielle....all sounds good to me. Long may your happiness and exitment last...hay get used to the sweet attension it's not one bit less than you deserve.....soack it all up girl
love a new romance begining...hope to heer more

celtic

Anne, your too funny. Gabrielle, your heart knows. Enjoy yourself and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

chick

Thanks guys! Yesterday he told me to block off a week at the end of May and to get my passport......guess we're going somewhere! If it involves a bathing suit, I'm heading off to the gym! He told me he's had a crush on me for years, that several of his friends knew, and that he's worried that I'll go back to the guy that dumped me last August. Nothing defines an old relationship like a new relationship and this new guy has nothing to worry about. It feels really good to feel this light-hearted again. I also discovered that the body has a way of remembering sensations we thought it had forgotten....and responds to those sensations like it used to as well. The skittishness is due to the loss of my husband of 20 years, and then the recent break-up with my fiancee. I have to learn to be here now.

gabrielle, any news on the week in May?

While in Chicago on a business tirp, I had dinner with a boomer woman who lost her hubby of 30 years to cancer. She's entering the dating world again and is giving the dating sites a try. She said it takes tons of courage. I'm sure you found the same thing when you began dating again.

Hi Gabrielle,

I've been reading the posts and following your progress, and all I can say is you go girl!

It takes a lot of courage to get back in the dating game, and I'm really impressed by how you're handling it and with your outlook on it all.

The vacation at the end of May is a great big step forward!

For what it's worth, I'm going to share a secret. Apparently, men love the scent of grapefruit. There's a post about this on my midlife women's blog, and, according to some research I did, when men detect the scent of grapefruit on a woman, they believe her age to be six years younger than it really is. info on grapefruit and men

OK, I admit that I'm a sucker for the power of suggestion, so I've been wearing a lot more grapefruit-scented products since I uncovered this little piece of interesting trivia.

The guy I'm seeing, in his unscientific opinion, seems to think there might be some truth to this grapefruit theory.

I don't know. But I think it's pretty interesting, so just thought I'd put it out there. Maybe pack some grapefruit-scented lotion in your suitcase?

try Prescriptive's "Calyx". Every guy I've met says it smells so good...so I stick with it.

whats calyx...is it a sent or a perscription drug...what dose it smell of

oh and hi gabrielle52 good to see you again

I'd never heard of it either, Celtic. So I looked it up. Here's a link to a description. I see that it has a lot of grapefruit in it!! Must be something to that research. Description of Calyx fragrance

Calyx sounds good...may have to get some...I wonder if it will make me feel younger?

Well, I do know that the citrus scents are "uplifting," so you may indeed feel younger when wearing them.

ok thats me hitting the fruit and veg department at the supermarket in a big way tommorow

Oh, you are too funny! Let us know if you have any luck.

Where do you find grapefruit lotions and cologne?

A lot of "potions" and "lotions" probably have grapefruit in them--but we just don't aren't aware of all the product ingredients when we purchase these things. One perfume that Gabrielle recommended in an earlier post has a "profusion" of grapefruit (that's how its manufacturer describes it). Gabrielle said that she's worn Calyx for a long time and men seem to universally love it. Calyx is made by the Prescriptives brand.

It's funny, because lately in my artisan, natural perfume business, whenever I'm commissioned to create a signature perfume for someone--if I happen to casually mention the grapefruit research--my client must have that as one of ingredients in her signature scent.

Seems like there must be something to this research.

Not to get off topic, but many of the natural white flower scents that we love--such as jasmine--have a chemical in them called indole. Indole is also found in human feces. Yep. Believe it or not.

I have just always found these kinds of facts about natural scents to be so fascinating--especially when you consider that our sense of smell is 10,000x more powerful than our sense of taste.

eewww. I love(d) Jasmine until right now. Please tell me Ylang Ylang does not contain nasty smells!

I think Ylang Ylang does contain indole, Anno. Most of the white flowers do. It's what helps make them so wonderfully fragrant.

It kind of shows just how base the human animal really is, doesn't it?

The guy I date has a fit when I bring this up in my lectures on natural fragrance, or if I happen to be doing a media interview. But I think it's pretty interesting. And it definitely gets everyone's attention.

I just love the smell of fresh cut wood. Now if they could make a fragrance for men that smells like that…WOW! There would be no holding me back. Do you know if ther is a scent all ready like that Melanie?

Well, the thing that comes to my mind immediately is Virginia Cedarwood (it's also called Red Cedar). It's an evergreen tree that's native to North America. The scent from this tree is obtained through the process of steam distilling its wood. The ensuing essential oil is lovely. It's very mild and sweet. Kind of balsamic. Some people say that it smells like a pencil. This is in a lot of commercial colognes and perfumes--men's and women's. And, in fact, it's a key ingredient that I just used recently for the creation of a natural, artisan perfume for Valentine's Day last month: Pink Champagne with Cedarwood .

In addition to Virginia Cedarwood, there's also an Atlas Cedarwood. But I prefer the former. To me, at least, the oil that comes from the Virginia Cedarwood is a little more "crisp." The Atlas is nice, too, but it's more amber-like. I like them both, but the "Virginia" is more like the fresh wood cut smell that you say you would like on a man, Hannelore.

Maybe the indole is what keeps poop from smelling any worse... LOL

lolllllll very funnie jane i wouldn't of thought of it like that...

well HL now you know the name of your scent....go get em girl

I have smelled Muget Des Bois, and you're right. It does smell lovely (which is difficult for me to admit because I am an artisan perfumer who works with only natural scents).

Here is a little recipe to try at home--perhaps before one's next date with a younger man since grapefruit, when we wear it, helps men see us as six years younger than our actual age. :

Take 15 ml. (about a half an ounce) of jojoba oil, and into that blend one drop of ylang ylang absolute (a very powerful oil; a little ylang ylang goes a very long way), plus 36 drops of essential oil of pink grapefruit. Shake it to break up the scent molecules, and let it sit in a dark closet for a couple of days. It's quite nice. Very refreshing. It's not a true perfume oil because it doesn't have staying power--but it's a nice fragrant oil and is subtle and soft. And you can reapply it as needed if you want more scent. Just be careful and watch for any skin sensitivity. Maybe try just a scant drop on your skin at first if you're prone to allergies. Also, grapefruit essential oil may make your skin more sensitive to the sun--so be careful. And of course keep it away from the kids, grandkids and the pets. I think the term to use is common sense caution.