So called because we're taking care of both parents and children. The sandwich feels like grilled cheese, fried on both sides and melting n the middle!

There are so many stories on elder abuse, financial abuse of seniors I've decided to specialize in Elder Law when I graduate law school in 2007. It is a NATIONAL problem, with no national agency or organization willing or able to take it on.... YET.

No one ever warned us, nor prepared us for the nightmare of aging parents and how to deal with taking care of them when their job was to take care of us. Especially hard when a distant relative enters into to picture and tries to destroy a family, which is what happened in my case. Nearly everything my father worked for his entire life was drained out of his savings into the pockets of LAWYERS in south Floirda, one of whom is the Vice-President of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys! On one hand, Mark Shalloway preaches advocacy for the elderly while his other hand is in the pocketbooks of the very people he says he's trying to protect!

It's disgusting. But the fight has only just begun.

Our generation needs to band together, Women AND Men. We must get the word out beyond Internet forums. Women can change the world, although it will take time, I do believe there is hope and there is help on every level. To all who are in the middle of a fried sandwich, hang in there and stay strong!

Its about time too... Welcome Raven...

Raven,
I know about abuse and the elderly . I have two relatives that I will not have anthing to do with . One verbal abused my mother in a retirement home and did not get reported by the home only the director did not let her come up anymore . People who verbal abuse anyone want control over these people . My mother is 94 in a nursing home out of town because of there greed .

Well Raven e-mail me and we can share stories on relative . You are not alone in this .

I will have the last word in my book only to change the name to protect myself that is how I will get my word out . I have the Oumbman to watch over my mother now. That is another long story.

I did an article not long ago on elder abuse. I saw this picture of this poor woman and cried. I find it so hard to believe that anyone would hurt an elderly person, or any person for that matter.

Here is the link to that article.

http://askdutchy.mycarelink.net/2005/08/reporting-elder-abuse.html

Nancy50,
I often refer families to the Ombudsman, I was curious how is that working for you? Have they really been helpful?

I wanted to add my experience with my father-in-law, he had dementia and passed away recently.

He was hit by so many scam artists, through the mail, phone, and to his house.

We involved the local DA's office and they were very helpful of the steps that we needed to take to keep him safe.

He was not very happy about this. Being very independent his entire life, he was not interested in what we had to say about this. Fortunatately, my husband was a signer on the bank account, and we watched it on the internet from home. When we say the patterns of money, thousands of dollars going out of the country. We had to take more drastic action.

Not only did we have to make his money safe. These individuals were going to his house, and we were fearing for his safety!

The local elder abuse was very helpful with suggestions. We never thought things were that bad!

Sunrise, what a wonderful idea to watch his bank accounts online.

If you don't mind I will have to add that tidbit of advise to my "Ask Dutchy" arsenal.

That will be the number one tip. I will give you the credit!

To be able to watch online, your parent must make you a signer on the account. We were fortunate that years before, my husband was a made a signer on the account. During all the mental changes, I really don't think that he would have allowed it.

In fact, he was terribly angry with us most of the time. We would drive a few hours to visit, and he would send us away. The social worker ended up in tears a few times.

When we moved him closer to us, again not a pretty scene. He was kicked out of an assisted living, and this was going to be his 3rd move in less than a year, we were going to have him close to us. This way, when he through us out, it would be a few minute drive, instead of 2+ hours each way.

This worked out well for us, he was terrible angry, he had wonderful girlfriend that he met at the previous facility, and he really missed her. She wanted him to go, she knew he needed more help, and being frail herself, wasn't able to be his caretaker. It was such a tear jerker!

It all is terribly sad. I just die somedays when I read what people are going through with their parents with Alzheimer's. I started another personal blog on nice homemaker type of subjects, just because I needed something on the happy side.
Kind of like the good versus evil. (ha) We talk about canning and homeschooling on the other blog. Much tamer! And not so sad....except for the fact that my tomatoes never ripened this year so I didn't get to can them. (that is sad too!)

Dutchy, that photo is pitiful. No wonder you wre moved to write about it.