0 Registered (),
154
Guests and
0
Spiders online. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
3239 Members
63 Forums
16332 Topics
210704 Posts
Max Online: 409 @ 01/17/20 03:33 AM
|
|
|
#145004 - 03/21/08 10:39 PM
Re: no more license to drive
[Re: jawjaw]
|
Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
|
Mom was forced to stop driving when her leg became so dysfunctional that she couldn't rely on it to hit the brakes...it would be almost two years before we discovered that the leg problems were due to spinal/bone cancer. At the time, she was devastated to lose the freedom that the car represented. Fortunately she lived two floors above my brother's apartment, so he and we were able to take her anywhere she needed/wanted to go. But the combination of grief (losing Dad after 54 years of marriage), increasing disability due to the undiagnosed cancer and the loss of independence really demoralized her and she became a recluse in those last months of her life. I wish we had been more attentive to the despondency but she hid it well whenever we were around.
My Mom was like your Dad, Dotsie, very much a people-person, and she really did suffer from the multiple losses of Dad, physical ability and then her driving too.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#145005 - 03/21/08 11:41 PM
Re: no more license to drive
[Re: Eagle Heart]
|
Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
|
Anne, the only transportation he could take would be a cab and I'm sure he would if needed. I don't really see that happening because all of us are around and able to get him out and about. YOur dad must have been young if you were only a teenager. I know a guy who hit and killed a kid on a bike in his own neighborhood. How he ever got behind the wheel of a car again, I can't imagine, but he did immediately.
Georgia, I didn't know that about your dad. I don't know why but I thought that by that time he was in a care center. At what point did he go to a care center? Just curious so I know what might be ahead of us with our loved one.
Eagle, by the grace of God, all of us are around too. But your mom's losses sound similar to Dad's. Mom is now gone 7 years, he's lost many siblings, in-laws and dear friends, he is slowing down, and now the car issue is another loss.
What can we boomers do to prepare for these losses?
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#145008 - 03/22/08 01:26 AM
Re: no more license to drive
[Re: Anno]
|
Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
|
My stepmother still drives...and is turning 79 soon. Dad has not driven since he was in his 40's due to Macular Degeneration.
I've drilled Dad a few times on this subject. "Dad, you WOULD know when Isabel no longer should drive, right?" He insists that she is "still ok"...does not drive at night anymore.
But it scares me still.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#145010 - 03/22/08 12:51 PM
Re: no more license to drive
|
Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
|
My Dad (fortunately) still lives at home and drives, but due to his worsening macular degeneration, he has stopped all night driving. This is a particularly frightening disease, because he's so visual. He loves to read and do anything hands on. We've introduced him to audio books but I must admit it's just not the same as a book in one's hands. We will all face something someday that begins to take away independence. And being boomers, we'll be in huge company.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#145011 - 03/22/08 03:31 PM
Re: no more license to drive
|
Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
|
Quote:
What can we boomers do to prepare for these losses?
*to seriously reconsider when you downscale to a smaller home, to choose a home closer to services, within walking, public transit or taxi service. This might mean living in a totally different town/city.
*to begin now not to depend so heavily on a car. Or try blending car and public transit for a route. Yes, I do know people who blend in car...and bike. These are women my age and up into their 50's.
I have a single retired good friend, she is close to 70. She sold her car about 5 yrs. ago and hasn't looked back. She chose to live near the subway line and is in walking distance (5-15 min.) to grocery store, services, restaurants. She saves alot of money. She takes taxi occasionally. She is highly involved in several groups several times weekly. A very people-oriented person.
I've known her for 25 yrs. and she has seen how I took up cycling later in life and made it a lifestyle that wasn't so dependent (and costly) on the car.
What will I do if I can't cycle..take public transit and walk. Like I used to as a child, teenager and university student. Take taxi occasionally. And I can't assume family will be chauffeuring me around..since I don't have children.
My father is 79 and still drives. But he voluntarily avoids high speed highways and night driving..for past 6-8 yrs. He and Mom live close to a bus stop... They also are a 15-min. walk from a large grocery story. They deliberately chose their retirement home to be close to services. Previously they lived in the suburbs in a different city after all their children grew up.
However they do ask one of their adult kids to drive them to functions that involve travelling on the expressways.
I'm glad my father is slowly making that transition...on his own time/pace.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|