I wasn't sure exactly where to post this, but it fits under eldercare - just that WE'D be the elders!

Have y'all made plans for if/when you need care? It seems like so many of our elders have not. Of course, no one can predict when they might suddenly take sick, but have you got an updated will? A living will? Have you decided who should have your health care mandates and power of attorney?

I was pretty lucky. My parents both had updated wills and my dad had a hefty amount of life insurance. He died in 1994, just 2 months after my mother had a massive stroke and was still recovering. The emotional blow to all of us was bad enough but fortunately, he left enough money to take good care of Mom.

She lived ten and a half more years, but had more strokes and was in a nursing home when she died. She was also on a feeding tube, which was something we kids had to decide about because she had not established any health directives.

I've thought a lot about what I want my kids to have to go through if I were to get sick, and what I DON'T want them to go through, and I've left directives about what my care should be if and when I reach the point where I can't make those decisions for myself.

For one thing, I do NOT want to live like a vegetable in a nursing home. If I've reached the point where decisions have to be made for me and the situation seems like it will not improve, then I want to be allowed to go quickly. No feeding tubes, no massive attempts to resuscitate, etc. If I get Alzheimer's and reach the point where I don't know my family, I want them to cease medical treatment. I don't believe in euthanasia, but I don't want the medical community to keep me going long after I'm really gone. I believe God will take us when it's time, if we'll let Him.

I know not everyone will agree and I wouldn't expect them to, but I do think everyone should think ahead and make their wishes known to their loved ones.

I have given my son Medical Power of Attorney for such an emergency and he knows my wishes about being kept alive by machines. I know he'll do the right thing when the time comes as hard as it may be for him. Good post Dejavu!!!

Excellent post. It makes us think about things we would rather sweep under the rug. We know they need to be discussed, and that they are real, but they aren't fun, and they aren't pretty, so we talk about something else. I'm glad you brought it up, no joke.

My Mom and Dad had everything put in our names (me and four sisters) years ago. Including their directives, Living Wills, and important papers. Mom has long-term care insurance but it was too late when Daddy applied. He was obviously already in the intermediate stages of Lewy-Body Dementia. But he was a Veteran, so they helped financially in a big way.

I have everything in my name, and my children's names if something happens to me..50/50. (Since I have two sons) and I've told them I want to be cremated. I do not have a Will and this is something I have GOT to do! My assest are taken care of, but my Will isn't. How dumb is that?

I also believe I should be carrying the long-term care insurance so my children are not stradled with any cost should I become mentally unstable (hey, I heard that!)

JJ

I have a will but it needs to be updated. I have an app't with an attorney for a living will. I am also in the process of getting my mom a living will which gives the directives for nutrition, etc. in a hospital setting. I do have power of attorney for her, but I have learned that you still need a living will. As for long term care, I have been told I must wait to be 5 years clean after my heart attack 2 1/2 years ago! A friend at work was denied long term care by 2 companies due to her being overweight (and not really too much overweight!). These are not nice things to think about, but very important.

Such an important topic and one we constantly put off. Thanks for bringing it up.

I have a will, but it needs to be updated badly. I have long term health care insurance, so if anything medically happens, my care is covered. My husband has insurance as well, and on the mortgage, so if anything happens to him the house is paid off.

When the Shaivo thing occurred in Florida we all talked about medical directives and living wills. We even got to the point of printing them out and signing them, but didn't get them notarized. You know, I don't even remember where they are now. How bad is that?

My oldest daughter has just started nursing school and my youngest daughter told her that now she could take care of mom and dad when we get old and need it. She laughed. Hmm?

Another thing to think about and that's your current health insurance. Will it continue after you retire? If you are counting on Medicare, will you have some kind of medicare supplement? Because, believe me, Medicare didn't begin to cover everything for my mother. I thank God she had some Blue Cross supplemental coverage.