Loss of independence! Do your parents still have their driver's license?

If not, do you help them with groceries, clothes shopping, doctor appts., etc.? Have they become much more dependent on you since losing their ability to drive? How do you set limits?

My mom turned 85 thismonth and had her drivers license renewed last month. She doesn't drive at night anymore because of macular degeneration in one eye but she passed with flying colors...

I don't think my dad drives much anymore with Parkinsons. Mom drives and truthfully, I wouldn't get in a car with her. First of all, she's not very big but they have this big Cadillac and I'm surprised she can see over the wheel. She was always a speeder too. Hope she's slowed down.

My mother is 85 and has macular degeneration. The year before my dad died, we agreed that she didn't need to drive anymore. If she had just been driving to church occasionally or to the store, she could probably have driven a lot longer. However, she was making a 40 mile round trip everyday to the nursing home and would often be driving in the rush hour traffic. Not driving was for her safety and others. She had always been a good driver. But, there was no way she was going to stay away from the nursing home every day if she had a car regardless of how dangerous it might be.
Now, however, she has to wait on the charity of others, which is very difficult because she was always extremely independent. It really overwhelms her sometimes. She lives with my little sister in another town. It probably wouldn't be as difficult for her as it is, but my little sister does not communicate. Even if she plans to do something Mother has asked about, she doesn't bother to tell her. So it is terribly frustrating for Mother. It is wonderful that my sister offered to let Mother live there, but sometimes I think it would be better if she lived in a retirement high-rise where she could have access to transportation and other people her age. But, maybe it's more important to be around family for her regardless of the frustrations.

My mother is deceased and my father is in a VET's hospital but my father-in-law is a menace. Of course you cannot tell him that his driving ability is deteriorating. We were at least able to keep him from making long trips. He used to drive to Florida but now he will fly.

I noticed that he is not driving as much.

I think it is very hard on the family member who is trying to take away the license of a parent. My husband and sister-in-law do not want to admit that it's a problem.

And unless the DMV revokes his license, he will just go down there and get another if his is taken away. We even tried taking the car keys but he just calls a locksmith. His problem is intermitting.

This is the chicken way we dealt with my father in law not driving. We made his doctor tell him he shouldn't drive anymore! It worked!

This post made me stop and think how awful it will be when I can't jump in my car and drive wherever I want to go. Its just one more thing we never think about until it happens. I love my car and the freedom it affords me....wow!

Oh Chatty, you're too spunky to ever stop driving. My husband had an aunt who was still driving at 96! Now, I'm not saying it would be a safe ride but she drove and she was a slum lord. Had her bodyguard go with her every friday to collect the "cash rent." She was a pistol. She passed away about three years ago tho. Never stopped until she stopped breathing.

Yeah, my Mother's friend is 91, and she still drives. I can't quite imagine not being able to drive, either! If you're isolated and don't live near your family, I'm sure that would be a real *#@*@*@.

I've just finished reading an excellent book -- Doing the Right Thing: Taking Care of Your Elderly Parents Even If They Didn't Take Care of You by Roberta Satow.

I heard the author on Diane Reim's NPR show and knew that I had to read the book. Her writing style isn't the best, but the info in the book is right on target.