Are you a 'Martha' or 'Maxine' ?

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Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Or

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

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To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

or

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

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When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

or

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

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If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

or


If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!


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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

or


Celery? Never heard of it!

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Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

or


The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

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Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

or


Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

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If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

or

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

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Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

or


Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!

Love it! I'm mostly a Maxine...

I'll never tell!!! Nope and can't make me neither...

I'm thinking I'm a Maxine...these are too funny!

I'm a Marxine - somewhere in the middle, a mix-breed!... and where is this "cute" neighbor? anyone have one?
these are funny.

He he

I am totally a Maxine..no in the middle for me. I did my stint with my 5 kids..and one of them fatally ill. Sooo..now I am Maxine..all the way

hi guys1
Yep, I have a great source for humor in a comedian who has written for some famous comics. He supplies me with enough jokes or such to keep me laughing!

I'm glad you like them.

Humlan, my dear, I am so very sorry for your child. I did not know. You are, indeed, very spiritual.

Dancer9