I'm putting this here because I couldn't think of a better place. As a matter of fact, I had trouble thinking at all this morning. Is it Saturday yet?

Anyway, remember when people use to put different kinds of messages on their answering machines? I'm thinking about changing my BORING one to something more befitting a Queen, like,

"Leave a royal message and I'll have one of my servants get back to you."

Or

"Yuhooo...Leave a message. I'm making some changes in my life. If I don't get back to you, your one of them."

How about,

"Trixie and I can't come to the phone right now, we're cleaning the moats."

Any suggestions? Be nice....JJ

JJ, how could any of us possibly top those?!

How about this...

Da Queen is quite busy
Or maybe in bed
So leave me a message
Or it's off with your head!

LOL! That is poetry in motion! LOVE IT!

JJ

Mine used to be: There's nobody home except my Doberman in case you're thinking of coming over while I'm gone. My shrink said it was very aggressive. I thought it was funny.

Girl! Ain't it so? I know everybody has to make a living but they can be the most persistent people in the world. Thank goodness for that new "DO NOT CALL" list!

JJ

I say "gee I'm busy right now but give me your home number and I'll call you right back. Oh, you can't, you don't want me bothering you at home...WELL NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!"

You should have made this a contest JJ.(you still can)Here goes.

I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the dungeon printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

(Thug voice:) Uh, hello, Da Queen and Trixter aren't here right now. They've been kidnapped! So at the beep, leave your name, your number, your message, and ten thousand dollars in a brown paper bag. Meet me at Starbucks in an hour.

Hello, and welcome to the Answering Machine of the Rich and Famous Jaw Jaw! The Queen can't come to the phone right now because she's spending the week in her beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.

Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air.

Sorry, The Queen and Trixie aren't here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

Sorry, I wont be home today...or tomorrow. I moved and left that dang answering machine here. Wait..hello....hello. Sheesh, I was just kidding.

Those are outstanding ChickWoman! Funny you should mention a contest....I'm sending out my ALL THINGS ROYAL on Monday...In it I ask my readers to send in all the crazy, zany, or even dumb answering machine messages they've heard before. So.................make sure you enter Chick...you are always a hoot!

For anybody else who would like to receive my monthly FREE newsletter, go to my Castle and sign up! The SIGN UP button is located on the front page.

Hugs, and happy answering!

Another one to make a would-be burglar think twice...

Hello! If you're calling about the missing snake, not to worry, I found him!

The thing that toasts my butt is the computers calling, NO person just some dang message generated by a machine, you can't even be mean or nasty to a machine, geesh!! How rude.

JJ, just say in your most royal tone, "pardon but Queen is on her royal throne and will phone you back if all comes out alright." Click!!