Hello all. This is more like a chronicle:

First of all, Easter Sunday was my birthday. 41 years ago, March 27th fell on this holy day as well. 41 years later, here I am, still here. Yippee!

I was very pleased with the holy day and celebrated in the traditional way...church, birthday cake for me, dinner, family and friends. I recieved gifts from significant family members and some friends as well. One gift I recieved caught me waaay off gaurd since the diamond ear rings and necklace were from a man that had been really trying to be my husband at one point but is someone else's now. Despite what he must think about me being his soul mate, he is where he belongs.

He claims that it's all in friendship so I accepted. I have a bit more thinking to do about this since he's been calling like crazy since then. His gift made my lonely heart even lonelier since this gift may have unknown attachments.

Anyhow, I had a deeper sadness lingering in my heart. I wanted a gift from my own generous husband or fiance'. Ok, I'm patient and will wait for God to send him (no choice anyhow unless I want another failure of marriage).

Now, I'll be a Project Manager for a business aquaintance down in Atlanta. The training will take place in Silver Spring, MD. I'll accompany this business partner and his wife. When I told him about the week long training and he stated that he and his wife would attend, I felt another pain, a lonely and sad pain, that I will attend yet another significant event, solo, again.

I know that my focus should be on the blessing to have won this 20 month contract, but my heart just would not let me rest. Dealing with singlehood issues is leaving pensive all too much as of late. There is no sustitute either. Dating is just out of the question. Or, maybe it's who I've dated that's left this detest for the dating game in my soul.

A bit of history that makes me feel this day is special and that I am just whining. Forty-one years ago was when the last tsnami took place, on Easter, March 27, 1964. This day Jesus rose, the Earth churned and exploded and then came me.

I wonder if there is something special that I should be doing? That same day, on my way to the Easter/birthday dinner, there was a double murder blocks away. I felt compelled to stop and pray. Since I was the lead car, I did. My heart went out to these families and I prayed for the strangers that were abruptly dislocated because the murderers decided to burn the building to cover their crime.

How awful I felt for feeling lonely afterwards. However, I still felt that way but less after my/our meeting with God in the name of those poor souls.

I needed to share my solo pain.

Thanks,

Sheree

[ March 29, 2005, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]

Happy Birthday.

Sugaree, I'm afraid you are traveling on shaky ground. When you were married, did your husband give you diamond ear rings and necklace for Easter? I wonder what your friend gave his wife for her last birthday or Easter. Please don't get in over your head. You may be sorry. Plus, if he cheats on his wife, don't you think he's cheat on you at a later date?

You often post about being solo, or not in a relationship. I think you need to get at the core of why that is so important to you. Are you looking for fun activities that you could do with a group of other women, or are you looking for passion? Maybe both.

I heard of a book that might interest you. I think it's called, When God Writes Your Love Story. Check it out at Amazon and see what you think.

I am not one to give advice in this area. I've been married to the love of my life for 26 years. I haven't a clue about what you are going through. I just hear you hurting in this area.

Happy Birhtday, Sugaree!!!
I'm no expert in this area either... I pray you can find answers to your heart's need.

God didn't create us to be alone. We need companionship,etc. Only he can guide & fill the needs of your heart.

But I do question the gifts your friend gave you. Be careful. Does his wife know and agree with the gesture?

Each day is a blessing, each birthday is a gift from above!

Recieve a hug from this boomer friend and count with my prayers in your favor!

Sugaree now we both know from the talking we have done that your smart enough to see he gave you the gift that keeps on giving....to him of course! This guy is a snake and I'll bet my next check his wife isn't aware of that gift.

Aw shucks. I forgot that I shared what was NOT the focus here. My main focus was the pain of singlehood and NOT getting a gift from someone that loves me. Yes, Ladies, the gift is wrong. It's more apparent post the ill lonely significant eventful celebritory days.

He called, again, like crazy today asking me to meet him for lunch. This 'used' to be no problem since we were friends and he respected his marriage, despite him saying that he believed I was his soul mate. He impressed me when he said that he couldn't hurt me by trying to make me his concubine and could never hurt his wife and child that he loves. I guess he's had a change of heart. I may be making him sound like a villain here but he sure is a kind person. He's always been a pest to me though. That is why he is NOT my husband. I never wanted him and still don't.

My diamond greedy mind must have rationalized that I've known him for 17-18 years and nothing has ever happened and that it was just a friendly gesture. Through out the entirety of my children's lives, he's always bought Christmas, birthday and even good grade gifts. Occassionally, he'd even buy me things. He'd just say out of friendship. Now I do believe he was keeping me on lay-a-way for my more vulnerable moments, like recently.

Dotsie, he is very kind to his wife, mother, sisters...daughters, people in general. Not to say that THIS gift is that sort of gesture, just out of generousity/kindness. I agree that there is more to it since he is calling and pestering me more than ever now.

I wore the ear rings to Easter dinner turned birthday party. Outside of my sister that stayed over that night and saw me put them on, I didn't show anyone. My hair was down so no one even noticed.

I guess the right thing to do would be to give them back. OUCH!

Sugaree: I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. I hate when men try to take advantage due to the vulnerability of your situation .

Please remember you are never alone. that's what friends are for ! I'll continue praying for you!

Have a great day!